I’LL HAVE A SHOWER AND THEN PHONE MY BROTHER UP
Finally! The Fred West/ Mega Buck saga is over, as Mega Buck Bandits put Fred West to the sword, with a splendid and rare goal from Matt Holland featuring in their 3-0 win. This sets up a tasty “Bevan derby” against high-flying Aardvark Abacus in the Quarter-Finals. A chance for Dave to avenge his recent league defeat at the hands of little brother, perhaps?
Therefore, the final Paul Cartmell Memorial Trophy Quarter Final draw is as follows;
Elland Road Big Boys v York’s Returning Glory
Aardvark Abacus v Mega Buck Bandits
Trusted By Millions v Kylie Bumcheeks
Prettier Than You v San Dimas High School
The games will hopefully be played this weekend, w/e 3 November, and will be the only fixtures. To reiterate; there will be no Fantasy League league games this coming weekend, just the above Cup fixtures.
There also won’t be a newsletter! The next one will follow the next full league fixture list, on w/e 24 November 2001, although I will e-mail out the scores from the above games to everyone. It’s also my intention that any replays required as a result of the above fixtures will be played on w/e 24 November, doubling up with the league fixtures. OK?
WHEN YOU’RE FOLLOWING AN ANGEL
In the League this weekend, Trusted By Millions extend their lead at the top to three points thanks to substitute Juan Pablo Angel’s double salvo in their 4-1 win over last week’s heroes Kylie Bumcheeks. Aardvark stay second by alphabetical order only; they could only draw 2-2 against Elland Road Big Boys, whilst San Dimas whopped Boston Rock 4-0 with 2 goals from Michael Ricketts, to draw level with the Abacus on identical records. Also level on points are Claymore Athletic, who saw off the resurgent Groove Machine 3-2, with a double from Steed Malbranque tipping this close game in Clive’s favour.
At the bottom, Viola’s Pier gain their first win of the season by beating underachieving Fred West 1-0, “Sir Les” Ferdinand scoring the goal which lifts Viola’s off the bottom and gains them the Performance of the Week £100,000. Well done Steve.
Replacing them as basement boys are Nil Satis, Darius Vassell scoring the goal which gives all 3 points to Prettier Than You and sinks Paul’s team to the bottom. York’s Returning Glory are also perilously close to the bottom, a 3-0 reverse against Mega Buck Bandits leaving York’s as the only team without a win to their credit this season. And Short Straw Rovers are also in danger near the bottom, with Real Muppets’ deadly strike duo of Viduka and Boksic condemning Andrew’s team to their 4th defeat in the last 5 games.
I DON’T WANT THE WORLD, I JUST WANT YOUR HALF
Are you lot interested in knowing what the Fantasy League “half-time” scores are?
I’d best explain this before you all start thinking I’ve completely lost my marbles. I usually start to work out the Fantasy League results for a given weekend on Saturday evening, following completion of the Saturday fixtures. This gives me a “half-time” score of how teams are performing so far, before the Sunday and (if applicable) Monday fixtures are played. When these games are completed, I then work out the final scores and publish them in the newsletter.
It just struck me that it might be fun to include the half-time scores in the newsletter. It would be the work of a moment to arrange, and may give you an indication of whether your team performs better in the “first half” (Saturday) or “second half” (Sunday/ Monday). Of course, you might get bizarre situations where, for example, team A have a goal and a clean to team B’s zero after Saturday’s games, then team B get a goal and a clean on Sunday/ Monday with team A drawing a blank. That would mean that team A were 2-0 up at “half-time” and the game finished 1-1!
Still, I’m prepared to put them in if you lot are interested. So, half-time scores; a fun addition to monitor your team’s performance, or final proof (if any more were needed) that that barmy old Sheriff has got far too much time on his hands? Let me know!
TRANSFER NEWS
In a busy week for transfers, it’s all change at the Groove Machine! Not only changing stadiums – with Rich Timms now groundsharing at Aardvark Abacus’ newly-constructed “Rosebury Rowl” – but also changing players! Malcolm Christie leaves the Groovers and joins long-time admirers Boston Rock for Olivier Dacourt and £2million, and Andy Oakes also heads for the exit, with Pierre Ducrocq, Thomas Gaardsoe and Ian Feuer joining up.
Player From To Fee
Matthew Etherington Kylie Bumcheeks Pool £250,000
Allan Johnston Middlesbrough Kylie Bumcheeks £500,000
Paul Boertien YKY Boston Rock FC Pool £250,000
Stanislav Varga Sunderland YKY Boston Rock FC £500,000
Craig Burley Trusted By Millions Claymore Athletic FC £4,000,000
TRANSFER NEWS (continued)
Player From To Fee
Joe-Max Moore Claymore Athletic FC Pool £250,000
Pierre Ducrocq Derby County 22 Legged Groove Machine £500,000
Ian Feuer Derby County 22 Legged Groove Machine £500,000
Thomas Gaardsoe Ipswich Town 22 Legged Groove Machine £500,000
Andy Oakes 22 Legged Groove Machine Derby County £500,000
Olivier Dacourt YKY Boston Rock FC 22 Legged Groove Machine £4,500,000
Malcolm Christie 22 Legged Groove Machine YKY Boston Rock FC £6,500,000
Stefan Schwarz Sunderland Mega Buck Bandits £500,000
Jason Wilcox Mega Buck Bandits Pool £350,000
Rigobert Song Prettier Than You YKY Boston Rock FC Loan Return
Rigobert Song YKY Boston Rock FC Pool £250,000
Branko Strupar Prettier Than You Derby County £750,000
Jeremie Aliadiere Arsenal Prettier Than You £500,000
Bruno N’Gotty Bolton Wanderers Prettier Than You £500,000
Don’t forget that the players highlighted are subject to the pool “cooling off” period. Any managers interested in buying them can bid until 8 p.m. on Monday 5 November, after which time they go into the pool proper and are readily available.
THE FF£75,000 QUESTION
This is a fun one, and probably worth a wild guess.
At the end of last season’s Serie A game between Lazio and Juventus (a game which Lazio won 4-1) something unusual and possibly unprecedented happened, involving then-Lazio forward Pavel Nedved and referee Pierluigi “Mekon Man” Collina. What?
One entry per person as usual please, to me by close of play on Saturday 10 November. I’ll give y’all an extra week due to the international break; also, as this is such a cool question, I’ll award an extra £50,000 if anyone can actually provide me with a reasonable explanation of why what happened, happened.
George Best attempted comebacks with Fulham, Stockport County, Hibernian, Cork Hibernian, Los Angeles Aztecs and Dunstable Town. There were probably others, but these were the only ones I could find.
Ryan got Stockport, Fulham and Hibs and provided me with a little essay as well, but lost out on the coin toss to Peej, who got Fulham, Hibs and the Aztecs. So, San Dimas High School can buy a few new textbooks with the rollover of £150,000 that’s coming their way. Well done Peej and commiserations to the Muppets.
SHORTS
Claymore Athletic’s Sebastian Schemmel has been recategorised as a defender, Prettier Than You’s Gary Naysmith is now a midfielder and Aardvark’s John Arne Riise is now a defender. That makes 3 players Ady has had recategorised into defence this season, following Lauren and Ledley King. Jammy bugger!!!…File under “What A Stupid Thing To Say” Part 3; Aardvark and Man U defender Laurent Blanc has responded to criticism that he is slow, by saying “those people who have said I’m slow don’t know me very well because I’ve never been quick”. Eh? EH???…
WSFFL Paul Cartmell Memorial Trophy
First Round Second Replay, W/E 27 October 2001
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 0-3 Mega Buck Bandits
Henchoz
Holland
Sheringham 21,873
LEAGUE RESULTS; Week 9, W/E 27 October 2001
Elland Road Big Boys 2-2 Aardvark Abacus
Neill Solano
Charlton Hasselbaink 33,599
Kylie Bumcheeks 1-4 Trusted By Millions
Ravanelli (1) Hreidarsson
Angel 2
Redknapp 37,524
San Dimas High School 4-0 You Know Your Boston Rock FC
Matt Elliott
Ricketts 2
Kanoute 67,555
Prettier Than You 1-0 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
Vassell 28,910
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 0-1 Viola’s Pier
Les Ferdinand 22,887
22 Legged Groove Machine 2-3 Claymore Athletic FC
Acuna Weir
Solskjaer Malbranque 2 48,029
York’s Returning Glory 0-3 Mega Buck Bandits
Henchoz
Holland
Sheringham 22,834
Real Muppets 2-0 Short Straw Rovers
Viduka (1)
Boksic 36,062
Performance of the week: Viola’s Pier
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