ON THE TRAIL OF DEADBEATS AND DEVIANTS
Well, after the shortest footballing hiatus on record, thanks to Euro 2004, we’re back on the WSFFL Fantasy Football trail again! Welcome one and all – thanks to all 16 managers for giving our great game a vote of confidence by agreeing to stick with it for another season, and I want to take this opportunity to wish everyone every success this season; except when they’re playing Boston Rock FC that is! Whatever, I hope it’s another fun-filled season for all of you!
ON THE ROAD TO TOTAL OBEDIENCE
Just a reminder to those managers who have yet to pay their £9 subscription for this year - please get it to me ASAP. I don’t want to start naming names and knocking on doors at the dead of night, but I will if I have to. So pay up!!
EVERY MONDAY NIGHT, ALL THE IDIOTS
The AGM last Monday was a much less chaotic affair than last season, thankfully, with salient points arising as follows;
- The subscription charge was voted in unanimously at £9 again for this season.
- Rich Timms’ rule change proposal “Goals for Goalies” was voted in by a 7 to 5 majority. To summarise, if a goalkeeper makes a save from a penalty, and a goal is not scored from the next phase of play, then the goalie gets credited with a goal. Therefore; keeper saves and ball is cleared = goal for goalie; keeper saves and forward follows up directly to score = no goal for goalie.
- The recat process open forum was supportive of the current yearly review, appeals process and data source, with an amendment voted in to the effect that an appeal process will be operated in January, prior to the mid-season transfer window auction in early February.
- Beef never showed for the AGM, therefore no photo opportunity for his FA Cup award. Damn shame!
- Intermission grub was shoo-perb. Thanks to Rachel for toiling away in the kitchen to produce a fine spread.
- Ryan and Rich Smith, also not present, nevertheless ran up huge phone bills by calling in for the entire auction, good chaps that they are. Ryan amused those present by attempting to deafen Clive with a shrill whistle every time he wanted to bid, whilst the suave Mr. Smith contented himself by chatting up the 2 lady managers all night.
- The WSFFL transfer record was smashed by £6.4 million, with Fred and Ady trading million-pound blows for Didier Drogba, until the Ivory Coast striker was secured by Fred for a stunning £28 million. Rumours that Ady can’t count higher than 27 are unsubstantiated, as I’ve seen him down over 27 Guinnesses in one sitting.
WATCH THE NEW HERO
The opening day’s fixtures revealed a few new heroes, as the embryonic table nevertheless took an eerily familiar shape, with Claymore Athletic, San Dimas and Aardvark Abacus, last year’s top three, leading the way. New WSFFL signings Cisse, Ferreira, Cech and Johnson all endeared themselves to their new fans by getting debut day goals, whilst we still wait for big-money names such as Robben, Kezman and Drogba to get off the mark.
Claymore’s hero was youngster Stuart Downing, who scored once and inspired Clive’s team to a 4-1 win over Final Fantasy XI, Ceri’s new signing Andrew Johnson opening his account to no avail. The High School paraded new big-money signing Mateja Kezman, but relied on Terry, Sorensen and Samuel in their 3-0 win over last year’s basement club Nil Satis, who have already assumed the position, as it were. Well, if you pay £18 million for a player then leave him out, that’s what happens…
Aardvark Abacus went behind to a Djibril Cisse goal against the Muppets, but fought back with new boy Petr Cech and old favourites Hasselbaink and Gallas scoring in their 3-1 win. There were also opening day wins for Boston Rock, new boy Ferreira scoring the winner against Trusted; Thommo’s, who repeated last year’s opening day score against Mega Bucks with a Darren Huckerby goal; Elland Road, 1-0 winners over Yorks; and Fred West, whose 2-0 win over last year’s high flyers the Groove Machine, courtesy of Collin John and Freddy Ljungberg, was awarded the POTW £100,000. A good start for Fred!
Unlike the Premiership opening day, only one WSFFL opening day game ended in a draw – Prettier Than You and Kylie Bumcheeks battled to a 2-2 stalemate.
TRANSFER NEWS
Transfers done since the AGM are as follows;
Player From To Fee
Bernt Haas (D) Pool Prettier Than You £0.5m
Stephen Crainey (D) Elland Road Big Boys Pool £0.25m
(has since joined Leeds on permanent basis, therefore is not available under “cooling down” rule)
Jinichi Inamoto (M) Final Fantasy XI Summer Dump rule £0.25m
Ole Gunnar Solskjaer (A) 22 Legged Groove Machine Pool £0.95m
TRANSFER NEWS (continued)
Player From To Fee
Marco Ambrosio (G) Prettier Than You Released £0
Simon Royce (G) Pool Prettier Than You £0.5m
Adam Drury (D) Pool Final Fantasy XI £0.5m
Donovan Ricketts (G) Nil Satis Nisi Optimum Released (loan expired) £0
George Boateng (M) Pool 22 Legged Groove Machine £0.5m
Julio Cesar (D) Pool 22 Legged Groove Machine £0.5m
Alexis Nicholas (M) 22 Legged Groove Machine Pool £0.25m
Don’t forget that the players highlighted are now subject to the pool “cooling off” period, Any managers interested in buying them can bid until close of play Saturday 21 August 2004, after which time they go into the pool proper and are readily available. All bids to me please.
THE FF£100,000 QUESTION
A topical one to start the season.
A fan invaded the pitch during the Euro 2004 Final between Portugal and Greece and threw what at Luis Figo?
Be specific please. Answers to me by close of play Saturday 21 August 2004. As usual, first correct one out of the metaphorical hat gets the dosh.
WSFFL RESULTS;
Week 1, W/E 14 August 2004
Final Fantasy XI 1-4 Claymore Athletic FC
Andrew Johnson Unsworth
Downing
Mellberg
Bridge 41,813
Kylie Bumcheeks 2-2 Prettier Than You
Savage Bellamy
Shearer Vassell 35,105
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 0-3 San Dimas High School
Sorensen
Terry
Samuel 24,100
Real Muppets 1-3 Aardvark Abacus
Djibril Cisse Cech
Gallas
Hasselbaink 35,521
Trusted By Millions 2-3 You Know Your Boston Rock FC
Okocha 2 (1) Defoe
Pires
Ferreira 44,026
22 Legged Groove Machine 0-2 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
Collins John
Ljungberg 36,690
Thommo’s Titans 1-0 Mega Buck Bandits
Huckerby (1) 34,268
York’s Returning Glory 0-1 Elland Road Big Boys
(1) Carlton Cole 23,717
Performance of the Week: Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
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