A WORLD IN WHITE GETS UNDERWAY
…which is possibly the only bit of U2’s “New Year’s Day” lyric I haven’t used yet. So given that we’re seemingly about to have a full dump of snow (and a flurry of postponed games no doubt, hence my mailing out the postponement rule reminder last week) I thought it’d be appropriate this year. So, as ever, WSFFL Co-ordinator Central would like to wish all it’s readers a Very Happy, Healthy and Prosperous 2006. May the New Year bring you all you wish for, and all success in the WSFFL (except Beef, obviously…!) and everywhere else!
I’LL PROBABLY KEEP IT ‘TIL SATURDAY
Congratulations to Aardvark Abacus, the 2005/06 Paul Cartmell Memorial Trophy winners! The original final was postponed from Wednesday 28th to Saturday 31st December, but nevertheless Ady made no mistake, dispatching Trusted By Millions 3-2 in a hard-fought game. Full report included in this newsletter…
STALEMATE, JAILBREAK, WHEN DO WE ADMIT IT’S NOT SAFE
Following 2 wins each over the Yuletide period, the Top 2 in the table met over the halfway-house New Year’s Day fixture, and it ended all square. Trusted By Millions surged ahead with goals from Crespo and Gerrard, only for Lampard and Ferdinand to peg them back for Boston Rock. This 2-2 draw leaves “The Sky Heroes” still top by goal difference only, with a lead about as safe as David Moyes’ job…
Aardvark Abacus lie in 3rd, 7 points off the pace but jumping ahead of Fred on goal difference, after being the only team to achieve a 100% record over Chrimbo. Cup winners as well, hmmm… Fred slipped up twice over Christmas, falling to both 5th placed Muppets and to Boston Rock. Also unbeaten, however, were Mega Buck Bandits, lifting themselves to 12th after bagging 7 points out of 9. Claymore were also unbeaten, although all 3 of Clive’s games ended in draws, so the Champions slip to 11th at the turn. D’oh!
At the bottom, Yorks only picked up 1 Xmas point, drawing with Claymore on Boxing Day but losing their other 2. They stay bottom, but by a reduced margin of 5 points from the 15th placed Groove Machine. Rich had an even worse Chrimbo, losing all 3 games, including a Boxing Day 8-0 humiliation by Aardvark. Thommo’s and Prettier Than You also had 3 Chrimbo defeats, so Rich wasn’t alone…
POTWs over the 3-match Christmas period were won by;
· Boxing Day Week 13 – Aardvark Abacus for their 8-0 massacre of the 22 Legged Groove Machine,
· Week 14 – Real Muppets, for a fine 3-0 win over Eleven Imaginary Boys, and
· New Year’s Bank Holiday Week 15 – Nil Satis Nisi Optimum, for a good 4-2 win over previously reviving San Dimas High School.
Each of these fine managers bank half a million for their efforts. Well done all!
BUT I COULDN’T SLEEP AFTER WHAT I SAW
Watching the first half of the Blackburn-Portsmouth match on Monday night, a largely soporific affair enlivened by a flurry of goals at each end, my mind strayed from the football and I started noticing odd little details. Hardly your “Third Eye” candidates, but nevertheless, things which bugged me. Such as;
· Pompey goalscorer Matt Taylor, aside from sporting a severe haircut just in time for the cold weather, appeared to have shaved one of his eyebrows off. Perhaps a New Year’s party prank which went wrong? I think we should be told…
· Taylor and team mate Gary O’Neil appeared, quite sensibly in my opinion, to have eschewed the horrible regulation Pompey away beige socks in favour of little white ankle numbers, as if they’d just come off the tennis court. Lovely, I’m sure, but since when did the proper kit become optional in the Premiership? I know money’s tight at Fratton Park, but still…
· You know how dog owners and their pets start to resemble each other? Well, I didn’t know this also happened to WSFFL managers and their players, until I noticed something. Get this; Clive. Brad Friedel. Peas. Pod. I mean, c’mon.... Now, I don’t mind if this catches on amongst the male managers, but if Rach starts to resemble Dean Keily, it might just be separate bedroom time!!
· Dario Silva. Is this man a refugee from an 80’s zoot-suit and chest-rug soul troupe or what? I mean, with his wet-look shoulder length perm, he could be Leee John’s understudy in Imagination (remember them? Unfortunately, I do…).
HALF A CHANCE OF GETTING HALFWAY BACK
We’re now halfway through the season, so let’s take a look at how everyone is getting on. As ever, please note that these are my (hopefully impartial) views on your team’s performance only, and are not meant to be taken personally - so don’t! Please…
YOU KNOW YOUR BOSTON ROCK are finally fully equipped to mount a title challenge, after flattering to deceive last year. “The Sky Heroes” now have strength in depth in all areas, particularly up front. However, the last thing Sheriff needs is for key players (Pires, Defoe) to spend some hang time on their respective club’s benches, so guess what’s happening? Key to success - Get key players back on form.
TRUSTED BY MILLIONS after 2 indifferent seasons are finally showing their true colours. Careful use of squad rotation, particularly among the strikers, is bringing out the best of Beef’s players. They go into the second half as the team to beat. Are you Chelsea in disguise? Key to success – just keep on doing what you’re doing.
AARDVARK ABACUS, after a rocky start, are now flying, and should mount a serious Championship charge. Winners of the first trophy of the season, they have some serious momentum and might just end Ady’s recent barren title spell. Key to success – don’t leave it so late!
FRED WEST LANDSCAPE GARDENING XI as usual are being propelled towards the top of the table by their strikers, Van Nistelrooy and Drogba, although their defence is chipping in notably this season too. Can’t say the same for that threadbare midfield, though...Key to success - buy a couple of midfielders!
REAL MUPPETS are maintaining their strong start to the season and are showing more of the form they’re capable of. Ryan has a strong core of players but struggles when they are missing (e.g. Ronaldo, Gary Neville, Ashley Cole). Key to success - get some good back-up men in - and change your team more often!
Jared has turned ELEVEN IMAGINARY BOYS from last year’s rock-bottom feeders to a serious upper-mid table team - an excellent achievement! Prov now needs to kick on - investing in some younger blood to replace ageing stars such as Shearer, Hyypia etc. might be a start. And give Kuqi more starts! Key to success - give youth (and Shefki) a chance.
NIL SATIS NISI OPTIMUM, despite an over-reliance on struggling Everton, are going very well this season. Paul has a plethora of scoring strikers this season (Reyes, Camara, Zamora) and needs to back the men in form when they hit form. Key to success - swap the forwards around occasionally to keep them fresh.
Signing Michael Owen would have made SAN DIMAS HIGH SCHOOL’s season so different. Expected to challenge for the title from the off, they’ve struggled until recently and in Peej’s own words, the transfer window can’t open soon enough. San Dimas need a top striker to add to the solid defence and promising midfield, to enable them to keep their recent good run going. Key to success - be bolder in the transfer market.
THE DEAD PARROTS are having an inconsistent season but are invariably tough opponents. Inconsistent form from some key performers (Diop, Duff) is affecting the Parrot’s progress this year. Dean’s major challenge is always actually continuing to play the game from Aus, where kick-off time coincides with prime Sat neet drinkies. Key to success - back your winners, and keep it up, cobber!
New mum Ceri has understandably had other things on her mind than FINAL FANTASY XI, but they’ve done pretty well of late, albeit inconsistently across the season as a whole. With Nolan, Pedersen, Jarosik and Francis, Ceri possesses a highly dangerous midfield, but too often her defence lets her down. Key to success - overhaul that back four!
Owen joining CLAYMORE ATHLETIC FC might have been a bad move for Clive, who up until Owen’s injury found himself with Ady’s old problem, i.e. non-playing forwards scoring when his playing forwards don’t! Clive now needs to start converting the too-often draws into victories, and have a near 100% second half to the season, if he’s to make it 3 titles in a row. Key to success - pick your best front 2 and stick with it.
MEGA BUCK BANDITS have understandably also been a lower priority on Dave’s radar, and have been propped up by key performers (Finnan, Roberts, McCulloch, Chimbonda). Former Champion Dave needs to shake things up and get some new players in, particularly in midfield, to recapture the glory days of old. Key to success - invest in the midfield.
PRETTIER THAN YOU have been hit by injuries to key players (Keily, Bellamy, Routledge) and lack of goals and form from others (Vassell, Davies). Rachel works hard at her team and needs to back her winners (esp. key man N’Gotty). Key to success - trust your players more!
THOMMO’S TITANS, as usual are making silk purses out of sow’s ears. Good form from unsung heroes (Repka, Henchoz and especially McBride) are picking up the slack from inconsistent star man Wright-Phillips. Keep it up Pete! Key to success - Buy a starting goalie, and make sure you get 4 starting defenders out each week!
22 LEGGED GROOVE MACHINE are another team who lost out on Owen, which would have made a huge difference to Rich’s season. The Big Man finds himself languishing near the bottom, and needs an overhaul in pretty much every area of his team to spark a revival. Key to success – wheel and deal in the transfer window - but don’t panic buy!
YORK’S RETURNING GLORY are having a horrible Sunderland-like season. Summer investment in foreign stars with strange-sounding names (Karadas, Mbesuma) simply hasn’t worked, and key man Zoltan Gera’s absence is being keenly felt. Crouch is starting to show goalscoring form now, and Julian must exploit that. Key to success - Buy British!
TRANSFER NEWS
A bit of squad tinkering from various managers, in preparation for the January transfer window no doubt…
Player From To Fee
Vaclav Drobny (D) Nil Satis Nisi Optimum Released Free
Wilfred Bouma (D) Pool Cooling Down sole bid Final Fantasy XI £500K
Vratislav Gresko (D) Final Fantasy XI Pool £250K
Jinichi Inamoto (M) Prettier Than You Pool £250K
Thomas Myhre (G) Pool Prettier Than You £500K
Jan Kromkamp (D) Villareal Mega Buck Bandits £850K
Josemi (D) Mega Buck Bandits Villareal £850K
(straight swap)
Zvonomir Vukic (M) Claymore Athletic FC Pool £250K
Matt Holland (M) Pool Claymore Athletic FC £500K
Laurent Robert (M) Real Muppets Pool £3.55m
(since joined Benfica therefore not eligible under pool cooling down rule)
Don’t forget that the players highlighted are now subject to the pool “cooling off” period, Any managers interested in buying them can bid until close of play Saturday 7 January 2006, after which time they go into the pool proper and are readily available. All bids to me please.
THE FF£100,000 QUESTION
Which Premiership Club recently had to withdraw their childrens 2006 Annual from sale, due to offensive chants being published in it?
Answers to me by close of play Saturday 7 January 2006 As usual, first correct one out of the metaphorical hat gets the dosh.
The answers to the Christmas Quiz are as follows;
1. Ryan and Peej have won the most Newsletter questions, with 20 each. Next up is Clive with 16, and Rachel with 14.
2. York’s Returning Glory boss Julian has NEVER got a Newsletter question right. So far as I can recall, he’s never even had a guess!
3. 19 questions so far have drawn blanks from the readership, including my all-time favourite, about Zvonomir Boban’s assault on a cop at the end of a Red Star Belgrade vs Dynamo Zagreb game being the catalyst for the Balkan Conflict (no-one even bothered guessing at that one). Too damn clever by half, that’s my problem…
4. The highest number of correct guesses I’ve received to a Newsletter question was 8 – in response to the question featured in 2000/01 Newsletter 15, about Aston Villa defender Chris Nicholl scoring all 4 goals in a Leicester v Villa 2-2 draw back in 1976. Ryan, Ady, Prov, Clive, MC, Rachel, Claire and Paul got that question right, and the money went to Donkey Derby County!
5. The first photo featured in the newsletter was of Brandi Chastain, waving her top around her head after scoring the decisive penalty in the 1999 Women’s World Cup Final. This was featured in 2000/01 Newsletter 17 (cue sound of pervy male managers scrabbling through their newsletter archives…) as a result of the Question in Newsletter 16. If you can’t remember the photo, Ms. Chastain showed off a frightening 6 pack which would put Peter Andre to shame.
Answers from;
1. Clive and Rachel were correct. Clive wins the cash on a coin toss. Wrong uns from Ryan (Peej and Clive) and Rich (Peej and Rach). It seems everybody thinks Peej is a clever-clogs, though...
2. Rachel was correct. Wrong ‘uns from Ryan (Paul Saleh) and Clive and Rich (who both went for Thommo).
3.No-one got this right. Wrong ‘uns from Ryan (20 – so close!), Clive (14), Rachel (17) and Rich (6). So the cash goes to the nearest guesser – Ryan!
4. Ryan was right, and Clive (7), Rachel (9) and Rich (a massive 14!!!) were wrong.
5. Rachel remembered Brandi. Some fun incorrect guesses; Ryan (Jurgen Klinsmann), Clive (Iain Dowie???) and Rich (Salman Rushdie – surreal or what??).
So Rachel and Ryan are both £400K richer, and Clive trousers £200K. Well done all!
SHORTS
· I loved Fred’s reason for sending his Boxing Day line-up to me on Christmas Eve, so I thought I’d share it with you. “In case I get an exciting present like a new bicycle for Xmas, and subsequently fall off and am unable to submit my team sheet on Boxing Day, I am sending it now”. So, what did you get, Fred? A new Chopper, or what?
· December 2005 Manager of the Month goes to the only unbeaten team in the month. So who was that, I hear you cry? Cup-winning Aardvark, sweeping all before him? League leaders Trusted and Boston Rock, stomping away at the top of the table? Nope, that would be Final Fantasy XI, who with 2 wins and 3 draws, navigated December without defeat, moving up from 13th to 9th in the process. So well done Ceri Bevan of Final Fantasy XI, you’re December 2005 Manager of the Month and £250,000 richer!
WSFFL RESULTS;
Week 13, BOXING DAY 26 December 2005
Aardvark Abacus 8-0 22 Legged Groove Machine
Lauren (1)
Campbell
Gallas
Scholes
Baros 2
Keane
O’Neil 42,313
The Dead Parrots 0-0 Final Fantasy XI
(1) 36,045
Eleven Imaginary Boys 1-5 You Know Your Boston Rock FC
Barton (2) Rio Ferdinand 2
King
Defoe
Lampard 44,197
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 1-4 Mega Buck Bandits
Reyes (2) Roberts 2
Nelson
McCulloch 29,881
Prettier Than You 0-4 Trusted By Millions
(2) Barry
Gerrard
Crespo
Andrew Cole 32,232
Real Muppets 3-1 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
Given OG (1) Van Nistelrooy
Gary Neville
Cygan 67,972
San Dimas High School 2-1 Thommo’s Titans
Sibierski McBride
Sorensen 32,432
York’s Returning Glory 0-0 Claymore Athletic FC
(1) 27,111
Performance of the Week: Aardvark Abacus
WSFFL RESULTS;
Week 14, NEW YEAR’S EVE 31 December 2005
Aardvark Abacus 4-0 Prettier Than You
O’Neil (3)
N’Gotty (OG)
Hreidarsson
Gallas 40,652
Claymore Athletic FC 0-0 Mega Buck Bandits
(3) 30,576
The Dead Parrots 0-3 San Dimas High School
(2) Stefanovic
Distin
Terry 37,114
Final Fantasy XI 3-0 Thommo’s Titans
Morton Gamst Pedersen (1)
Tianio
Bartlett 36,246
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 1-4 You Know Your Boston Rock FC
Robben (1) Darren Bent
Ferreira
Sun Jihai
Michael Gray 67,858
Real Muppets 3-0 Eleven Imaginary Boys
Ronaldo 2 (2)
Cygan 44,192
22 Legged Groove Machine 0-2 Trusted By Millions
(3) Crespo
Mido 28,022
York’s Returning Glory 2-3 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
Crouch (2) Cahill
Speed Hibbert
Priske 25,952
Performance of the Week: Real Muppets
The PAUL CARTMELL MEMORIAL TROPHY 2005/06 FINAL
Saturday 31 December 2005
Aardvark Abacus 3
O’Neil 43, Hreidarsson 90, Gallas 90
Vs (3)
Trusted By Millions 2
Crespo 25, Mido 66
At the Millennium Stadium, Cardiff, Attendance 78,000
Aardvartk Abacus Team:
Cech
Campbell, Gallas, Hreidarsson, Heinze
Scholes, Park, O’Neil, Alonso
Baros, Keane
Subs: Jones, Lauren (on 1 for Heinze), Solano (on 1 for Scholes), Gudjohnsen (on 79 for Keane)
Trusted By Millions Team:
Schwarzer
Thatcher, Knight, Dawson, Carragher
Le Tallec, Ambrose, Dunn, Gerrard
Crespo, Mido
Subs: Jaaskaleinen, Taylor (on 1 for Thatcher), Rossi (on 1 for Ambrose), Angel (on 70 for Crespo)
The Paul Cartmell Memorial Trophy was won by Aardvark Abacus, who regained the trophy they originally won in 1996/97 by beating Trusted By Millions by 3-2 in a hard-fought final.
The competitive nature of the final was emphasised in the early stages, with hard challenges leading to some early substitutions. After the game took shape, Trusted initially made the running and went ahead midway through the first half. A Steven Gerrard-inspired move was finished off neatly by Crespo at the far post. Ady’s team however fought back, Keane going clear on a couple of occasions before being pulled back for offside, before Gary O’Neil levelled with a deft strike just before half time.
The second half see-sawed in the early stages, and Trusted again went ahead, Mido finishing off a move following a Le Tallec cross on 66. However, inspired by an energetic midfield performance by Man-of-the-Match O’Neil, Aardvark fought back and took control, and two late goals, both headers, from the recalled Hreidarsson and Gallas, pipped Trusted, and gave the victory to Aardvark. Hard luck on Beef, but congratulations to Ady!
WSFFL RESULTS;
Week 15, 2 January 2006
Eleven Imaginary Boys 2-0 Prettier Than You
Beattie
Van Der Sar 34,758
Final Fantasy XI 2-2 Claymore Athletic FC
Garcia Steve Watson
Morton Gamst Pedersen Jaidi 34,333
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 4-2 San Dimas High School
Pennant Steven Davis
Cahill 2 Yakubu
O’Shea 38,313
Real Muppets 0-3 Aardvark Abacus
(2) Solano
Baros
Keane 40,808
Trusted By Millions 2-2 You Know Your Boston Rock FC
Gerrard (1) Lampard
Crespo Rio Ferdinand 52,302
22 Legged Groove Machine 1-2 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
Dickov (2) Drogba
Matthew Taylor 29,189
Thommo’s Titans 0-1 Mega Buck Bandits
Stalteri 27,604
York’s Returning Glory 0-4 The Dead Parrots
Maik Taylor
Tuore
Anthony Gardner
Harewood 27,073
Performance of the Week: Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
THE WSFFL LEAGUE TABLE, Season 2005/06
| ||||||||||
As at 4 January 2006
| ||||||||||
Team
|
P
|
W
|
D
|
L
|
F
|
A
|
Diff
|
Pts
| ||
1
|
You Know Your Boston Rock FC
|
15
|
11
|
1
|
3
|
44
|
14
|
30
|
34
| |
2
|
Trusted By Millions
|
15
|
11
|
1
|
3
|
39
|
18
|
21
|
34
| |
3
|
Aardvark Abacus
|
15
|
8
|
3
|
4
|
41
|
21
|
20
|
27
| |
4
|
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
|
15
|
8
|
3
|
4
|
39
|
25
|
14
|
27
| |
5
|
Real Muppets
|
15
|
7
|
2
|
6
|
28
|
23
|
5
|
23
| |
6
|
Eleven Imaginary Boys
|
15
|
7
|
2
|
6
|
20
|
24
|
-4
|
23
| |
7
|
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
|
15
|
7
|
2
|
6
|
23
|
28
|
-5
|
23
| |
8
|
San Dimas High School
|
15
|
6
|
3
|
6
|
27
|
24
|
3
|
21
| |
9
|
The Dead Parrots
|
15
|
5
|
5
|
5
|
26
|
21
|
5
|
20
| |
10
|
Final Fantasy XI
|
15
|
4
|
7
|
4
|
24
|
24
|
0
|
19
| |
11
|
Claymore Athletic FC
|
15
|
4
|
7
|
4
|
21
|
21
|
0
|
19
| |
12
|
Mega Buck Bandits
|
15
|
5
|
4
|
6
|
18
|
25
|
-7
|
19
| |
13
|
Prettier Than You
|
15
|
3
|
4
|
8
|
11
|
29
|
-18
|
13
| |
14
|
Thommo's Titans
|
15
|
4
|
1
|
10
|
10
|
29
|
-19
|
13
| |
15
|
22 Legged Groove Machine
|
15
|
3
|
3
|
9
|
14
|
41
|
-27
|
12
| |
16
|
York's Returning Glory
|
15
|
1
|
4
|
10
|
14
|
32
|
-18
|
7
| |
TOTAL
|
240
|
94
|
52
|
94
|
399
|
399
|
0
|
334
| ||
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