WOULD I....BOUNCE BACK
After a most appalling start to the season, the 22 Legged Groove Machine bounced back in a big way in the Paul Cartmell Cup First Round this weekend, by laying the serious smackdown on champions Claymore Athletic FC. A 4-0 win, which featured a stalwart defensive performance and a first Groover goal for Yossi Benayoun, KO-ed one of the Cup favourites and earned the Big Man the POTW half a mill. Well done Rich!
Still enjoying a winning start to the season, Eleven Imaginary Boys continued their good form with a similarly crushing 4-0 win over Final Fantasy XI, the reformed Joey Barton registering on the scoresheet. A most unexpected hat-trick by Marlon Harewood saw the Dead Parrots through to the Quarter Finals with a 3-1 win over Thommo’s Titans, for whom Brian McBride replied. Also, Fred beat Prettier Than You for the second time in a row, this time by a reduced margin of 2-0, with the deadly strike force of Van Nistelrooy and Drogba again on target.
Aardvark also sneaked through, 2-1, against an unlucky Nil Satis, and a goal from £100 trillion man Jamie Carragher (or whatever he’s worth these days, what with inflation and all) saw Trusted beat Real Muppets 1-0.
Last year’s 2 finalists, however, have tricky replays to negotiate. San Dimas were held 1-1 by York’s Returning Glory, with Yakubu getting an equaliser for the High School after Greening had fired York’s in front; whilst once again Darren Bent was on target for Boston Rock in their 1-1 draw with Mega Buck Bandits. These 2 ties replay next weekend, doubled up with the league fixtures. I’ll do the draw for the Quarter Finals once these ties are settled!
I CALLED HER FAB AND MRS. FISH, I DIDN’T GET HER NAME
Following my question on rock-related team names in Newsletter 1, I’ve had a couple of e-mails from managers asking where the other team names originate! So, following extensive research and racking of brains, here’s the skinny;
Ady called his team AARDVARK ABACUS because he didn’t want to lose the title on alphabetical order! I don’t think it’s come to that yet, although Ady did win his first title in 1996/7 from Fred on goal difference…
CLAYMORE ATHLETIC FC was, I understand, just a name Clive had hanging around which he’d wanted to call a team. A Claymore being a type of medieval Scottish broad sword, perhaps Clive has some Celtic ancestry we don’t know about??
THE DEAD PARROTS, our Australian representatives, are named after the famous “Norwegian Blue” Monty Python sketch. Dean however claims he got the inspiration from “The Office”, where the Wernham Hogg Company had a quiz night, and David Brent’s team was called “The Dead Parrots”. Anyway, after taking over Anfield Schoolboys from original manager, Liverpool fan Carl Hughes, Leeds fan Dean sarcastically renamed them Elland Road Big Boys, before changing them to the Dead Parrots, a name he’d used in other Fantasy competitions, in search of more success.
Jared’s ELEVEN IMAGINARY BOYS name is taken from the Cure’s first album “Three Imaginary Boys”. Prov rejoined the league this Summer, taking over Rich Smith’s Kylie Bumcheeks (named due to Rich’s obsession with a certain famous rear end), which were previously Paul Cartmell’s Zanfar Rovers (after Paul’s then-wife) and, following their split, Woodchester Rovers after his street name. Also briefly Init2winit under Clive’s now-wife Claire (not sure where that name came from – shed some light Clive-lad?)
Ceri’s FINAL FANTASY XI are named after a series of fantasy Playstation games, e.g. Final Fantasy XII, XIII, XIIII, X and X2, XI being the next in the sequence, as yet unreleased. Ceri’s “Robins” nickname (one of only 2 WSFFL team nicknames I know of which aren’t diminutives of the actual team name – anyone got any more?) is from STFC and Swindon Robins Speedway, both of which Ceri follows avidly. Ceri had actually taken over Andy Mercer’s Short Straw Rovers, which is one of my favourite name stories. Andy had rejoined the league and wanted his old team back, which Beef had taken over. However he had to take over Snowy’s Supersonic Rovers from the disappearing Mr. Thompson, and was complaining at the AGM about how crap his new team was. When I suggested he’d really drawn the short straw, Supersonic Rovers became Short Straw Rovers!
FRED WEST LANDSCAPE GARDENING XI is a sick pun, which I think has backfired badly! Neil Jarvey decided to give his team this macabre moniker after the infamous mass murderer, whose story dominated the news around the time of the league’s inception, who used to bury his victims in the garden of his Gloucester home. However, no one ever calls Neil by his given name anymore. To all and sundry now, he’s simply “Fred”!
From Dave Bevan’s viewpoint, there was “no magic involved” in the name MEGA BUCK BANDITS; he “just thought it sounded good”. Appropriate as well, for our affluent accountant colleague!
Lifelong Evertonian Paul Saleh’s team name, NIL SATIS NISI OPTIMUM, is Everton’s club motto, found on their club badge. It’s Latin for “Nothing but the best is good enough”. I’ll leave you all to debate how appropriate a handle that is for Paul…and Everton!
Rachel’s PRETTIER THAN YOU is the title of the solo album by Brian Stevens, who was a former member of the excellent Cavedogs and thus actually is a Boston rocker. It was either that or “Sweep The Leg”, which is a track on the first Sheila Divine (another Boston band) album. Rach took over Johnny Ball’s team, which was named Bags’ Boys after his rather cruel – but funny – nickname.
Here’s where Ryan got his inspiration for REAL MUPPETS (nee Moorey’s Muppets); “When we first started all this I listened to Steve Wright in the afternoon and everybody was a muppet... I worked with a right couple of muppets.... etc. etc. The change to Real could as easily have been “Inter” but I consulted with Clive and he liked the “Real” option.” Inter Muppets? Think I prefer Real as well…!
We established last week that Peej’s team name SAN DIMAS HIGH SCHOOL comes from “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure”, that being the name of their LA school in the film. Peej had originally called his team Willy Shakey, which, with its’ nod to the Bard, reflected Peej’s thespian tendencies.
Pete apparently called his team THOMMO’S TITANS “because of my name and because you put so much pressure on me to think of one when I first started that was the first thing that come into my head!” Didn’t think I was that bad, Pete…!Thommo’s team was another with a chequered managerial history. Pete had taken over Steve Paul’s Viola’s Pier, named after an amalgam of the names of Gianluca Vialli, Gianfranco Zola and Pierluigi Casiraghi by Chelsea fan Steve. Prior to that they were Zachstar Incorporated, Sporting Zachstar and Sporting Chance under Mike Dixon, the first 2 names being after his son Zach, and the final name reflecting how rubbish they’d become. Rumours that Tony Adams had named his rehab clinic after Dicko’s team are probably wide of the mark…
Beef named his team TRUSTED BY MILLIONS after the title of an album by a Canadian band called 54-40, who he saw whilst vacationing in Vancouver. I understand the other name under consideration was the title of the album by the 90’s indie band Beef, but it would have been a bit silly to be playing “Living in a Hee Hee Hey” each week!!! Beef took over Andy Mercer’s first team, which was called Rivermill Bassett after Andy’s former company.
The Big Man took over Pete Ash’s F****t Free FC (God knows where that came from) and thankfully renamed it the 22 LEGGED GROOVE MACHINE, after the Wonderstuff’s first album, “The Eight Legged Groove Machine”.
I’ll let Julian explain about YORK’S RETURNING GLORY; “I have always been a life long York fan, so throughout time I have tried to keep a connection with ex York players, Cresswell, Greening and Williams etc. I therefore decided, especially when York were in trouble financially and it turned out in football terms too, that I should change my team name. Returning Glory being the hope that they will return to the football league.” No luck yet then! Julian’s team were originally called Ex-Boro, then Current Boro, which apparently “reflect that in the early days a lot of my players played for Middlesborough or had connections. Partly as when I was at Uni I shared a house with a ‘Boro fan who became my best mate and was my best man, so at the time were my favourite Premiership team.”
I changed the pretty unimaginative Athletico Sheriff name (with which I nevertheless won my only League title) to YOU KNOW YOUR BOSTON ROCK FC, following a backstage chat with Evan Dando, lead singer of the Lemonheads, at a gig in 1996. I was being smart about some obscure Boston band, and Evan (one of my rock icons – for those of you who don’t know, my son is named after him) said incredulously to me “you know your Boston Rock”. Thus was a legend and future tombstone inscription born. My team nickname “The Sky Heroes” is also a former Boston band, which featured American Hi-Fi guitarist James Arentzen, and vocalist Brian Dunn, one of the most stunning voices in music today, and the only other man (besides myself) able to reduce my future wife to a quivering mess.
Other team names which are no longer with us;
Jeff Yates team Oxford Reunited were thus called due to “Aldo” having a soft spot for the Manor Ground monkeyboys. They only lasted one season, when Jeff dropped out and the league reduced from 19 to 18 teams.
I’m not sure where our first Champion, Ben Ford, got his name Bassett’s Allsorts from. Perhaps it was as simple as the sweets… Anyway, Andy Ballard took his team over and named it Cows in the Corner FC (after something amusing which happened while Andy was drunk) then Pacer’s Pacesetters (don’t know). Andy dropped out when the league went from 18 to 16 teams, after finishing bottom the previous season.
Finally, Jared’s first team was called Donkey Derby County, because he was on holiday and had missed the inaugural auction, so was left with the donkeys in the pool to assemble a team from. Jared initially left the league at the same time as Andy Ballard, but he’s back now – and it’s a pleasure to have him back!
TRANSFER NEWS
Lots of transfers this time, including Prov being a busy boy, and of course the transfer deadline 48 hour stuff. So who got Owen? All is revealed below;
Player From To Fee
Michael Essien (M) 48 hour rule San Dimas High School £11.5m
Jonatan Johansson (A) YKY Boston Rock FC Pool £250K
Liam Ridgewell (D) Pool YKY Boston Rock FC £500K
Tiago (M) 22 Legged Groove Machine Lyon £6.82m
Josemi (D) Eleven Imaginary Boys Pool £2.875m
Lorenzo Amoruso (D) Eleven Imaginary Boys Pool £4.05m
Billy McKinlay (M) Eleven Imaginary Boys Pool £250K
Malcolm Christie (A) Eleven Imaginary Boys Pool £4.5m
TRANSFER NEWS (continued)
Player From To Fee
Geoff Horsfield (A) Pool Eleven Imaginary Boys £500K
Christian Dailly (D) Pool Eleven Imaginary Boys £500K
Chris Powell (D) Pool Eleven Imaginary Boys £500K
Matteo Ferrari (D) 48 hour rule (sole bid) Eleven Imaginary Boys £500K
Tony Warner (G) Pool Eleven Imaginary Boys £500K
Richard Hughes (M) Pool Eleven Imaginary Boys £500K
Albert Luque (A) Pool Claymore Athletic FC £6.15m
Hugo Viana (M) Claymore Athletic FC Pool £500K
Joseph Desire Job (A) 22 Legged Groove Machine Pool £250K
Massimo Maccarone (A) Summer Dump return Real Muppets £250K
(proposed deal fell through therefore back to Middlesbrough)
Michael Reiziger (D) Eleven Imaginary Boys PVC Eindhoven £0
Erik Edman (D) The Dead Parrots Stade Rennes £500K
(undisclosed therefore refund)
Fabrice Fernandes (M) Summer Dump return Mega Buck Bandits £250K
Nourredine Naybet (D) Mega Buck Bandits Pool £250K
Fabio Rochemback (M) 48 hour rule sole bid Thommo’s Titans £500K
Michael Owen (A) 48 hour rule Claymore Athletic FC £16.15m
Nuno Valente (D) 48 hour rule Claymore Athletic FC £6.15m
Zvonomir Vukic (M) 48 hour rule sole bid Claymore Athletic FC £500K
Wayne Bridge (D) Claymore Athletic FC Pool £1.95m
Noe Pamarot (D) Claymore Athletic FC Pool £1.8m
Linvoy Primus (D) Claymore Athletic FC Pool £250K
Grzegorz Rasiak (A) 48 hour rule 22 Legged Groove Machine £7m
Lee Young-Pyo (A) 48 hour rule 22 Legged Groove Machine £4m
David Connolly (A) 48 hour rule Final Fantasy XI £6.1m
Damien Johnson (D) Final Fantasy XI Pool £250K
Abel Xavier (D) 48 hour rule Prettier Than You £2.2m
Stephen Wright (D) Prettier Than You Pool £250K
Zurab Khizanishvili (D) 48 hour rule sole bid Prettier Than You £500K
Gary Naysmith (D) Prettier Than You Pool £250K
Don’t forget that the players highlighted are now subject to the pool “cooling off” period, Any managers interested in buying them can bid until close of play Saturday 17 September 2005, after which time they go into the pool proper and are readily available. All bids to me please... and there’s a couple there which might attract a bid or two…
THE FF£100,000 QUESTION
Which Premiership footballer also revels in the title of the Lord of the Manor of Frodsham?
Answers to me by close of play Saturday 17 September 2005. As usual, first correct one out of the metaphorical hat gets the dosh.
Palace and Final Fantasy XI ace Andrew Johnson was eligible, through a grandparent, to play for Poland. Apparently he turned them an approach from the Polish FA before he made his debut for England. Although he might want to rethink that, if Sven intends to play him on the wing all the time…
I also heard an unsubstantiated report that, through various accidents of parentage, Johnson was eligible to play for all the home countries, and was strongly courted by Berti Vogts to play for Scotland!
I got one correct answer, from Ceri, who let’s face it, should know this one… £100,000 goes to Final Fantasy XI. I also got a wrong ‘un from Peej, who went for Canada – isn’t that Owen Hargreaves?
SHORTS
· A quote overheard from Harry Redknapp, talking about Teddy Sheringham after his performance in the West Ham-Aston Villa game on Monday night; “He was magnificent. What I like about Teddy, is that he just loves it in the hole. He enjoys coming in there”. Words fail me!
· Watching this weekend’s transfer activity unfold was really gripping, as no less than 15 players made their debuts, and therefore were eligible for bids under the 48 hour rule. As expected, Michael Owen attracted a lot of interest, with 5 bids being received for him, and Champions Claymore Athletic bagging their man for a mere £150K higher than the next highest bid, from the Groove Machine. However, the player to attract most interest was not Newcastle’s new striker. Oh no, that honour went to none other than new Everton defender Nuno Valente, who attracted no less than 7 bids! Valente also ended up at Claymore, whose top bid was only £50K higher than Final Fantasy XI’s next highest bid! Lucky, lucky Clive-lad…!
WSFFL RESULTS;
WSFFL Paul Cartmell Memorial Cup First Round
W/E 10 September 2005
Aardvark Abacus 2-1 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
Gallas Reyes
Cech 26,846
Claymore Athletic FC 0-4 22 Legged Groove Machine
(1) Mokoena
Kishishev
Cunningham
Benayoun 36,148
The Dead Parrots 3-1 Thommo’s Titans
Harewood 3 (1) McBride 52,208
Final Fantasy XI 0-4 Eleven Imaginary Boys
Hyypia
Powell
Barton
Perry 28,075
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 2-0 Prettier Than You
Van Nistelrooy (1)
Drogba 36,831
San Dimas High School 1-1 York’s Returning Glory
Yakubu (3) Greening 29,582
Trusted By Millions 1-0 Real Muppets
Carragher (2) 41,969
You Know Your Boston Rock FC 1-1 Mega Buck Bandits
Darren Bent (2) Nelson 67,839
Performance of the Week: 22 Legged Groove Machine
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