NOW IT'S YOUR TURN TO LOOK ME IN THE EYES, APOLOGISE
Yup, apologies again for the late arrival of this Newsletter. However, managerial misunderstandings were not responsible for the late publication this week; this time it was simply down to my spending Monday night being right royally entertained by the esteemed Mr. Bob Mould (hence this article’s lyric title, and yes, he did play this old Husker Du classic). Shaking hands with and briefly talking to one of my all-time guitar icons is the highlight of my 2006 so far, let me tell you; so in retrospect I’m not actually sorry at all that this newsletter is late!
At one point this weekend, however, it looked as if there would be other bumps in the road, as soccernet.com, our controversial prime data source, steadfastly refused to boot up all Saturday morning and early afternoon. (I say controversial – it’s mainly Rich who objects to soccernet, primarily on the basis that as it's an ESPN website, it's run by Yanks who of course know nothing about football. I say, tell that to Brian McBride, Claudio Reyna and Brad "Fenwick" Friedel, Big Man...). Luckily it was sorted by Saturday evening, so I was able to get into the match stats to do our scores. But if, like me, you had steam coming out of your ears, trying to get onto soccernet at about 2.30 p.m. to check the 3 p.m. line-ups, try this one. Sporting-life.com also publishes team line-ups a half-hour or so before kick-off, albeit in streaming form as they come through, so in no particular order. That's useful to know just in case that damn Yankee (sorry wrong sport, the Boston Red Sox fan in me got carried away there) website crashes again!
HELLO DARKNESS MY OLD FRIEND, I’VE COME TO TALK WITH YOU AGAIN
The quickest turn-around in the WSFFL fixture list occurred this weekend, as the New Years’ Eve Week 14 combatants squared up to each other again, barely a month later. Five of the eight fixtures went the same way, but of the 3 that didn’t, 2 were very significant indeed.
Aardvark Abacus’ recent winning streak up the table to third was well and truly halted by Prettier Than You, Rachel’s team running out 3-2 winners with goals from Bruno N’Gotty, Aaron Hughes and that Blackburn guy with the long name (as Ceri calls him when we phone our teams in). Matthew Upson and new midfielder Eidur Gudjohnsen replied for Aardvark.
However this notable feat, which would have nailed POTW any other week, was even eclipsed by the 22 Legged Groove Machine. The Big Man finally got his mojo working, and a last-gasp Yossie Benayoun goal secured a 3-2 victory for the Groove Machine over title contenders Trusted By Millions. This remarkable win lifts the Groove Machine up to 14th, and earns Rich the POTW half a million and my eternal thanks. Well done Big Man!
These 2 results handed the initiative to You Know Your Boston Rock FC, who grasped it firmly, beating Fred West 5-0, Boston Rock’s goals featuring a Rio Ferdinand double. The “Sky Heroes” now leap 3 points clear at the top, and this result also knocks Fred down to 6th in the table. Real Muppets are up to 4th following a 2-0 win over Eleven Imaginary Boys, and Nil Satis are up to a possible all-time high (correct me if I’m wrong, please Paul) of 5th, following their 4-0 tonking of bottom club York’s Returning Glory.
At the bottom, Thommo’s Titans slip to one place off Yorks’ basement slot, following a 3-1 reverse against Final Fantasy XI, with Ceri’s deadly midfield of Nolan, Pedersen and Jarosik all on target. The Dead Parrots get sucked into the bottom struggle, their 2-1 loss to San Dimas knocking them down to 12th. And Mega Bucks leap above their weekend opponents Claymore Athletic FC into 10th, following a 2-0 win over the stumbling Champions, with Jason Roberts and a Steve Watson own goal the scorers for Dave.
HE’S A NICE YOUNG MAN WITH A LOVELY SMILE
So, Arsene Wenger has just made the “first draft pick” argument for the WSFFL January Transfer Window Auction well and truly academic, by going and signing Southampton’s young Theo Walcott for £12 million. “He can be as good as Wayne Rooney”, quoth the manager who went and spent £10 million on Francis Jeffers, so he can spot a good youngster when he sees one. Or not.
Thing is, Theo, at 16, has all the makings of the next Thierry Henry. Or is it the next Jermaine Pennant? Pennant of course was similarly plucked from a lower league club (Notts County in his case) at a similar age, with outlandish predictions flying around his head about him being the answer to England’s left-midfield problems. However, all that got him was a swell head, an armful of tattoos and a quick one-way trip to St. Andrews. Walcott, thus far, seems to be a level headed young man with a long-term approach to his career, and certainly the WSFFL manager who signs him will be making a similar long-term commitment to our wonderful league, if he/she wants to benefit from Walcott’s best form. But the trouble with young players is that you just don’t know whether they’ll go on to fulfil their potential, or just burn out too soon. So, Theo Walcott: the next Wayne Rooney, or the next Luke Chadwick? The bidding starts at…..!!!
I USED TO GO THERE MYSELF, BUT FOR THE DAY BECAME ANTI-POPE
A funny e-mail aside, entitled “1981 vs 2005”, received from our Antipodean colleague Mr. Watts. This tickled my fancy so I thought I’d bung it in;
· YEAR: 1981; 1. Prince Charles got married; 2. Liverpool crowned Champions of Europe; 3. Australia lost the Ashes (A cricket tournament, so I understand); 4. Pope died.
· YEAR: 2005; 1. Prince Charles got married; 2. Liverpool crowned Champions of Europe; 3. Australia lost the Ashes (still a cricket tournament, I’m told); 4. Pope died.
In the future, if Prince Charles decides to remarry, could somebody please warn the Pope!
TRANSFER NEWS
Quite a lot of pre-Transfer Window Auction squad reshuffling going on…
Player From To Fee
Eric Djemba-Djemba (M) Dead Parrots Pool £250K
Ahmad Elrich (M) Dead Parrots Pool £250K
Per Kroldrup (D) Pool Cooling Down sole bid Nil Satis Nisi Optimum £500K
Malcolm Christie (A) YKY Boston Rock FC Pool £250K
Mark Delaney (D) Pool YKY Boston Rock FC £500K
Michael Brown (M) Aardvark Abacus Pool £2.875m
Michael Chopra (A) Pool Aardvark Abacus £500K
Patrik Berger (M) Final Fantasy XI Pool £250K
Dean Marney (M) Final Fantasy XI Pool £250K
Neil Mellor (A) Pool Final Fantasy XI £500K
Kerrea Gilbert (D) Pool Final Fantasy XI £500K
Don’t forget that the players highlighted are now subject to the pool “cooling off” period, Any managers interested in buying them can bid until close of play Saturday 28 January 2006, after which time they go into the pool proper and are readily available. All bids to me please.
THE FF£100,000 QUESTION
Number two in a little four-part series of questions about Premiership goals, and/or the aftermath thereof;
After Matthew Taylor scored his brilliant second goal for Portsmouth against Sunderland, lobbing Black Cat goalie Kelvin Davis from practically the half-way line in their 4-1 win at the Stadium of Light on 29 October this season, a Sunderland fan ran on to the pitch and did what?
Answers to me by close of play Saturday 28 January 2006 As usual, first correct one out of the metaphorical hat gets the dosh.
Ruud Van Nistelrooy’s 2nd goal in the win over Charlton on 19 November was the first goal Van Nistelrooy has scored for Manchester United in the Premiership from OUTSIDE the penalty area. Not sure whether this means he’s scored from outside the penno box in any other competitions. Somehow I doubt it, the goalhanger.
Correct replies from Peej, Beef, Clive and Ryan, and the cash this time goes to Claymore Athletic FC, first out of the hat. Well done Clive-lad. One wrong guess as well – from Rachel, who went for“first not from a set-piece” – along the right lines but wrong.
SHORTS
· You Know Your Boston Rock FC boss Sheriff (erm, me, then) would like it known that two of his squad are available for offers. I would consider serious offers (cash or player swap) for both Scott Parker and Robert Huth…
WSFFL RESULTS;
Week 17, W/E 21 January 2006
Eleven Imaginary Boys 0-2 Real Muppets
Joey O’Brien
Gary Neville 41,355
Mega Buck Bandits 2-0 Claymore Athletic FC
Jason Roberts (2)
Steve Watson OG 29,138
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 4-0 York’s Returning Glory
Pennant
Hibbert
O’Shea
Martyn 36,920
Prettier Than You 3-2 Aardvark Abacus
N’Gotty (1) Upson
Khizanishvili Gudjohnsen
Aaron Hughes 29,812
San Dimas High School 2-1 The Dead Parrots
Yakubu (1) Neill
Helguson 36,243
Thommo’s Titans 1-3 Final Fantasy XI
Hoyte Nolan
Morton Gamst Pedersen
Jarosik 27,208
Trusted By Millions 2-3 22 Legged Groove Machine
Forssell (2) Thompson
Dunn Melchiot
Benayoun 51,323
You Know Your Boston Rock FC 5-0 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
Rio Ferdinand 2
Michael Gray
King
Paul Robinson 67,874
Performance of the Week: 22 Legged Groove Machine
THE WSFFL LEAGUE TABLE, Season 2005/06
| ||||||||||
As at 23 January 2006
| ||||||||||
Team
|
P
|
W
|
D
|
L
|
F
|
A
|
Diff
|
Pts
| ||
1
|
You Know Your Boston Rock FC
|
17
|
12
|
2
|
3
|
52
|
17
|
35
|
38
| |
2
|
Trusted By Millions
|
17
|
11
|
2
|
4
|
42
|
22
|
20
|
35
| |
3
|
Aardvark Abacus
|
17
|
9
|
3
|
5
|
46
|
26
|
20
|
30
| |
4
|
Real Muppets
|
17
|
9
|
2
|
6
|
32
|
23
|
9
|
29
| |
5
|
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
|
17
|
9
|
2
|
6
|
30
|
29
|
1
|
29
| |
6
|
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
|
17
|
8
|
3
|
6
|
41
|
33
|
8
|
27
| |
7
|
San Dimas High School
|
17
|
7
|
4
|
6
|
31
|
27
|
4
|
25
| |
8
|
Eleven Imaginary Boys
|
17
|
7
|
3
|
7
|
21
|
27
|
-6
|
24
| |
9
|
Final Fantasy XI
|
17
|
5
|
8
|
4
|
27
|
25
|
2
|
23
| |
10
|
Mega Buck Bandits
|
17
|
6
|
5
|
6
|
22
|
27
|
-5
|
23
| |
11
|
Claymore Athletic FC
|
17
|
5
|
7
|
5
|
26
|
27
|
-1
|
22
| |
12
|
The Dead Parrots
|
17
|
5
|
5
|
7
|
31
|
28
|
3
|
20
| |
13
|
Prettier Than You
|
17
|
4
|
5
|
8
|
17
|
34
|
-17
|
17
| |
14
|
22 Legged Groove Machine
|
17
|
4
|
3
|
10
|
17
|
45
|
-28
|
15
| |
15
|
Thommo's Titans
|
17
|
4
|
1
|
12
|
12
|
35
|
-23
|
13
| |
16
|
York's Returning Glory
|
17
|
1
|
5
|
11
|
14
|
36
|
-22
|
8
| |
TOTAL
|
272
|
106
|
60
|
106
|
461
|
461
|
0
|
378
| ||
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