SPEND YOUR MONEY SO FRIVOLOUSLY, WHY DON'T YOU SAVE IT FOR THE CHILDREN
Thanks to everyone who attended the first post-August Transfer Window Auction, round ours last Sunday 3rd September. To be honest, I wasn’t expecting much of a turnout, but 10 managers attended, plus two phoning in, plus two who provided proxy bids! The evening itself was just as I’d anticipated; quickfire spendies on the players signed in August - kick off at 8 p.m. and done and dusted by 1/4 to 9!
We’d arranged this Auction to suit the specific circumstances of having to arrange this year’s AGM three weeks before the Premiership season started, rather than the traditional weekend before. However, given the way that you lot supported this event, I’m almost inclined to do one every year, rather than mess about with that pesky 48 hour rule for post-AGM Transfer Window signings. What do you all think? Let me know!!
As for the evening itself, first point of order was the Paul Cartmell Memorial Trophy Quarter Final draw. Pete drew the home teams and Dave and Jared variously drew the away teams. It came out of the hat as follows;
Aardvark Abacus v Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
San Dimas High School v You Know Your Boston Rock FC
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum v Final Fantasy XI
Trusted By Millions v 22 Legged Groove Machine
Games will be played on the weekend of Saturday 21 October 2006.
The auction itself was a lively and quick affair, with Fred, phoning in from parts unknown, falling foul of one of the fundamental WSFFL Auction rules – don’t bid more money than you actually have! To be honest, this is the first time during my tenure as co-ordinator that anyone has done this, but it had to be Fred, didn’t it??!!
The following players went straight into the pool and are therefore readily available;
Tamas Priskin (A), Watford
Albert Jarrett (M), Watford
Hatem Trabelsi (D), Manchester City
Andre Bikey (D), Reading
Peter Mate (D), Reading
Danny Shittu (D), Watford
In the auction, Ryan lashed out the most on one single player, £19 million for Carlos Tevez (the subject of Fred’s illegal bid, incidentally). However, Prov was the most active Auction participant, buying 7 players (including £11 million signing Nicolas Anelka, which may prove money well spent) and dumping 2 in an aggressive team restructuring exercise (and not stopping there – see Post-Auction Transfer News!). Good on you, Prov lad! A full list of deals leading up to, during, and since the Auction are featured in the Transfer News section.
SAVE ME, SAVE ME, SAVE ME FROM THIS SQUEEZE
Penalty saves were the talk of the WSFFL this weekend, with 3 of the 4 pennos saved in the Premiership this weekend scoring “goals” for the ‘keepers in question. Mega Buck’s Paddy Kenny blocked one to score a “goal” on the 1-1 draw with Real Muppets – and if Muppets had been playing Scott Carson, they would have matched his feat to win this game! However, Claymore’s Brad “Clive” Friedel went one better, notching 2 penalty saves in Claymore’s 6-0 win over Eleven Imaginary Boys. Indeed, if Friedel’s clean sheet wasn’t the first cancelled off by Prov’s clean, Friedel would have scored an unprecedented goalie hat-trick!
Ivar Ingimarsson also notched a brace for Clive, whose win keeps him top of the table, still with a 100% record at this early stage. He leads on goal difference only – indeed, Claymore have an unprecedented goal difference of plus 11 after 2 games! However Right behind Claymore is Nil Satis, who kept up their flying start with a 4-2 win over fellow opening day winners Fred. The two Evertonians are amazingly the only teams still with 100% records after 2 games, which I guess shows how competitive the league is!
The Dead Parrots are up to 3rd with a 2-0 win over fancied Trusted By Millions. Scott Parker and Lucas Neill grabbed the goals which propelled Dean up the table and also won him the POTW half a million. Well done Dean! Into 4th go Final Fantasy XI, after winning the 2nd girly pillowfight of the season, 2-1 against Prettier Than You thanks to an Andrew Johnson double. 5th are the Groovers, 1-0 winners over San Dimas High School thanks to a Noe “dude” Pamarot strike, and despite their 1-1 draw with Real Muppets this weekend, Mega Buck Bandits stay in the top 6.
A couple of fancied teams have yet to really get their season started. The marquee match-up between Boston Rock and Aardvark Abacus (marquee match-up? Sheesh, I have been watching too much baseball) ended in a late 2-1 win for the “Sky Heroes”, which moves the reigning champions up to 10th and Aardvark down in 12th place. Yeesh! Still, could be worse; following their defeat to the Dead Parrots, Trusted By Millions, my tip for top honours, are 15th with a big fat zero points! They share this dubious distinction with Clive’s victims Eleven Imaginary Boys, and last season’s basement boys York’s Returning Glory, who lost 4-2 to Thommo’s Titans this weekend. Come on Julian, I tipped you for better things this season; don’t let me down!
Still, it’s very early days yet in the league. I’ve got to say that, down in 10th…
LET THIS NET GET TANGLED, TANGLED
This game continually surprises! You think you’ve covered all the bases, but then somebody throws a real curveball, doing a deal which throws everything up in the air. To whit; on the last day of the August transfer deadline, Jose Antonio Reyes got the move to Real Madrid he’d been jonesin’ for all Summer long. He moved to Real, on a season-long “loan swap” deal, with Real Madrid’s Julio Baptista going in the opposite direction. The season long “loan swap” may subsequently be made permanent if all parties agree.
However this caused us problems as the deal appeared to be governed by 2 distinct and opposing WSFFL rules. Firstly, that if a current Premiership player moves outside the Premiership in exchange for another player (or another player plus cash), then the owning WSFFL manager loses the player in question but gets that other player (plus any cash adjustment) in return. This rule, for example, applied when Michael Owen moved to Real Madrid in exchange for cash plus Antonio Nunez. Beef got the money and got Nunez (for all the good he did for him).
However secondly, if a current Premiership player moves out of the Premiership on loan, he is still regarded as a Premiership player until that move becomes permanent. Therefore the owning manager can still use him during the weekend as a non-playing player belonging to his Premiership club, for example to “Bevan dodge” in a sub goal.
This gave us a quandary - how can Paul Saleh’s Nil Satis Nisi Optimum, Reyes’ WSFFL club, “lose” the player if Reyes is on loan and technically still a Premiership player? However, if we treated this as just a “loan” deal, kept Reyes as a Nil Satis player and auctioned off Baptista, what would happen if the swap deal then became permanent? Nil Satis would then lose Reyes and not be able to receive Baptista in exchange as he would be entitled to do, as Baptista would then belong to another WSFFL club.
See what I mean? A real tangled web!! Luckily, this was just the kind of dubious transfer the Executive Committee was set up to rule upon. So, following hours (I kid you not, hours) of frantic deadline-day discussions, Executive Committee of Ady and Rich (Paul was not included in the decision-making process of course, due to his vested interest) and I came up with the following agreed solution:
“Nil Satis is to receive Julio Baptista as a “proxy” player, in exchange for Jose Antonio Reyes, for the duration of the “loan swap” only. If that “loan swap” were to become permanent, with both players moving to their new clubs, Julio Baptista will then become a permanent player for Nil Satis.”
This sets a precedent in WSFFL for any future deals of this nature, and means that Reyes, whilst on loan to Real Madrid under this arrangement, becomes a “non player” in WSFFL. Paul cannot use him to “Bevan Dodge” in a sub goal, for example. If the “loan swap” does not become permanent on both sides at the end of the season, Reyes returns to Arsenal and to Nil Satis, and Baptista leaves Arsenal and Nil Satis. If Reyes moves to Real on a permanent basis at the end of the “loan swap”, but Baptista returns
to Real, Paul loses both players but gets any subsequent transfer fee paid for Reyes (inc. a full refund if the fee is undisclosed). If Reyes returns to Arsenal at the end of the “loan swap” but Baptista signs for Arsenal on a permanent basis, Paul gets Reyes back and loses Baptista, who will be auctioned off at the next opportunity (presumably the 2007 AGM Auction).
All clear? Good! Now someone please explain it all to me…!
TRANSFER NEWS
The full heads-up on the September Transfer Window auction as follows;
Player From To Fee
Before the Auction
Neil Mellor (A) Final Fantasy XI Preston North End £500K
(undisclosed therefore refund)
TRANSFER NEWS (continued)
Player From To Fee
Kevin Phillips (A) Trusted By Millions West Bromwich Albion £700K
David Connelly (A) Final Fantasy XI Pool £3.05m
(since joined Sunderland therefore ineligible under the pool “cooling down” rule)
Shefki Kuqi (A) Eleven Imaginary Boys Crystal Palace £2.5m
Pascal Cygan (D) Real Muppets Villareal £500K
(undisclosed therefore refund)
Jan Kromkamp (D) Mega Buck Bandits PSV Eindhoven £850K
(undisclosed therefore refund)
During the Auction Evening
Antti Niemi (G) Thommo’s Titans 22 Legged Groove Machine £5m
Jaroslav Drobny (G) Pool 22 Legged Groove Machine £500K
Jamie Ashdown (G) 22 Legged Groove Machine Pool £250K
Radostin Kishishev (D) 22 Legged Groove Machine Pool £250K
Robbie Elliott (D) Eleven Imaginary Boys Sunderland £0K
Ray Parlour (M) Mega Buck Bandits Pool £1.75m
Khalid Boulahrouz (D) Auction Mega Buck Bandits £10m
Nicolas Anelka (A) Auction Eleven Imaginary Boys £11m
Carlos Tevez (A) Auction Real Muppets £19m
Obafemi Martins (A) Auction Aardvark Abacus £16m
Dirk Kuyt (A) Auction Aardvark Abacus £13m
Malcolm Christie (A) Aardvark Abacus Pool £250K
Michael Carrick (M) Auction Thommo’s Titans £9m
Andreas Isakkson (G) Auction Final Fantasy XI £2m
John Filan (G) Final Fantasy XI Pool £250K
Jonathan Woodgate (D) Auction Claymore Athletic FC £4m
Stilian Petrov (M) Auction San Dimas High School £9m
Kasper Schmeichel (G) San Dimas High School Pool £250K
John Paintsil (D) Auction Eleven Imaginary Boys £4m
Shabani Nonda (A) Auction Eleven Imaginary Boys £500K
Roudolphe Douala Mbela (A) Auction Final Fantasy XI £500K
Colin Kazim-Richards (A) Auction Eleven Imaginary Boys £500K
Tommy Smith (A) Auction Final Fantasy XI £1.5m
David Cotterill (A) Auction Eleven Imaginary Boys £2.5m
Idan Tal (M) Auction Thommo’s Titans £500K
Adranik Teymourian (M) Auction 22 Legged Groove Machine £500K
Omar Pouso (M) Auction Trusted By Millions £3m
Damarcus Beasley (M) Auction YKY Boston Rock FC £3.5m
Stephen Ireland (M) YKY Boston Rock FC Pool £250K
Manuel Fernandes (M) Auction Real Muppets £3m
Ognjen Koroman (M) Auction Real Muppets £500K
Nico Kranjcar (M) Auction Trusted By Millions £5m
Sergio Peter (M) Trusted By Millions Pool £250K
Javier Mascherano (M) Auction Fred West LGXI £3.5m
Antonio Valencia (M) Auction Mega Buck Bandits £500K
TRANSFER NEWS (continued)
Player From To Fee
Andre Ooijer (D) Auction Claymore Athletic FC £500K
Souleyman Diawara (D) Auction 22 Legged Groove Machine £5m
Olivier Bernard (D) Auction Claymore Athletic FC £3.5m
Andreas Johansson (M) Claymore Athletic FC Pool £250K
Emmerson Boyce (D) Auction Final Fantasy XI £500K
Matthew Bates (D) Final Fantasy XI Pool £250K
George McCartney (D) Auction Eleven Imaginary Boys £500K
Marek Stech (G) Auction Eleven Imaginary Boys £500K
Tony Warner (G) Eleven Imaginary Boys Pool £250K
Since the Auction
Jaroslav Drobny (G) 22 Legged Groove Machine Released £500K
(previously released by Fulham, therefore made available in pool in error, hence full refund to the Groove Machine)
Jan Lastuvka (G) Pool 22 Legged Groove Machine £500K
Nicky Shorey (D) Pool Eleven Imaginary Boys £500K
Matthew Mills (D) Eleven Imaginary Boys Pool £500K
David Unsworth (D) Pool Eleven Imaginary Boys £500K
Christian Dailly (D) Eleven Imaginary Boys Pool £250K
Gary Naysmith (D) Pool Claymore Athletic FC £500K
Ben Thatcher (D) Claymore Athletic FC Pool £250K
Jason Euell (A) Pool Prettier Than You £500K Dietmar Hamann (M) Pool Prettier Than You £500K
Simon Davies (M) Prettier Than You Pool £250K
Reto Ziegler (M) Prettier Than You Pool £250K
Yaniv Katan (A) Pool Thommo’s Titans £500K
Martin Laursen (D) Pool Nil Satis Nisi Optimum £500K
Don’t forget that the players highlighted are now subject to the pool “cooling off” period, Any managers interested in buying them can bid until close of play Saturday 16 September 2006, after which time they go into the pool proper and are readily available. All bids to me please.
THE FF£100,000 QUESTION
Yet another World Cup question. This one is great.
Who or what was blamed for keeping the Ukraine World Cup squad awake, the night before being walloped 4-0 by Spain in their Group H game?
Answers to me by close of play Saturday 16 September 2006. As usual, first correct one out of the metaphorical hat gets the dosh.
Before the Togo-South Korea Group G game, they played the South Korea anthem twice, and didn’t play the Togo anthem at all! Cue the Togo players standing around looking perplexed, which let’s face it was pretty much what they did while their games were going on anyway…
I got 2 correct replies, from Rich and Peej. The Big Man once again won the coin toss, so the hundred grand goes to the Groove Machine. On a bit of a roll so far this season, the Big Man (ham roll, chicken roll, any kind of roll really, so long as it’s just the meat and the bun!).
A wrong one from Clive, but a good one; he thought “knowing Otto Pfister’s paranoia during the World Cup, I guess he ordered his Togo players to put their fingers in their ears to prevent them being subjected to the South Korean National Anthem”.
SHORTS
· Proof perhaps that all footballers really are thick, particularly the ones that go into punditry. Overheard on the Reading-Man City build up; Anchorman Jeff Stelling mentioned to studio guest John Salako that Reading boss Steve Coppell was a thoughtful manager. Salako’s response, “yeah, he’s got a degree!”
· Thought for the day from our Antipodean correspondent, which proves that Dean has missed his calling and should have been a tabloid headline writer; “If Anton Ferdinand’s Big Brother was caught taking & sniffing hard drugs, would he be known as RIO COKER?”
· And what about Stilian Petrov? San Dimas and Villa new boy Petrov looks like a member of Kajagoogoo, with the 80’s bouffant and blond highlights…
WSFFL RESULTS;
Week 2, W/E 9 September 2006
Claymore Athletic FC 6-0 Eleven Imaginary Boys
Friedel 2 (2)
Henry
Ooijer
Ingimarsson 2 60,007
The Dead Parrots 2-0 Trusted By Millions
Parker (1)
Neill 41,194
Final Fantasy XI 2-1 Prettier Than You
Andrew Johnson 2 (1) Khizanishvili 75,403
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 2-4 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
Giggs (3) Cahill
Drogba Zamora
Sommeil
Lescott 40,004
Real Muppets 1-1 Mega Buck Bandits
Gary Neville (3) Kenny 24,092
22 Legged Groove Machine 1-0 San Dimas High School
Pamarot (1) 50,365
Thommo’s Titans 4-2 York’s Returning Glory
Bocanegra Speed
McBride Hasselbaink
Leigertwood
Howard 34,576
You Know Your Boston Rock FC 2-1 Aardvark Abacus
Rio Ferdinand (1) Carvalho
Glen Johnson 29,876
Performance of the Week: The Dead Parrots
THE 2006/07 WSFFL LEAGUE TABLE
| ||||||||||
As at Monday 11 September 2006
| ||||||||||
Team
|
P
|
W
|
D
|
L
|
F
|
A
|
Diff
|
Pts
| ||
1
|
Claymore Athletic FC
|
2
|
2
|
0
|
0
|
12
|
1
|
11
|
6
| |
2
|
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
|
2
|
2
|
0
|
0
|
9
|
5
|
4
|
6
| |
3
|
The Dead Parrots
|
2
|
1
|
1
|
0
|
5
|
3
|
2
|
4
| |
4
|
Final Fantasy XI
|
2
|
1
|
1
|
0
|
5
|
4
|
1
|
4
| |
5
|
22 Legged Groove Machine
|
2
|
1
|
1
|
0
|
4
|
3
|
1
|
4
| |
6
|
Mega Buck Bandits
|
2
|
1
|
1
|
0
|
2
|
1
|
1
|
4
| |
7
|
Thommo's Titans
|
2
|
1
|
0
|
1
|
4
|
3
|
1
|
3
| |
8
|
San Dimas High School
|
2
|
1
|
0
|
1
|
3
|
3
|
0
|
3
| |
9
|
Prettier Than You
|
2
|
1
|
0
|
1
|
2
|
2
|
0
|
3
| |
10
|
You Know Your Boston Rock FC
|
2
|
1
|
0
|
1
|
5
|
6
|
-1
|
3
| |
11
|
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
|
2
|
1
|
0
|
1
|
4
|
5
|
-1
|
3
| |
12
|
Aardvark Abacus
|
2
|
0
|
1
|
1
|
4
|
5
|
-1
|
1
| |
13
|
Real Muppets
|
2
|
0
|
1
|
1
|
2
|
7
|
-5
|
1
| |
14
|
York's Returning Glory
|
2
|
0
|
0
|
2
|
3
|
6
|
-3
|
0
| |
15
|
Trusted By Millions
|
2
|
0
|
0
|
2
|
2
|
5
|
-3
|
0
| |
16
|
Eleven Imaginary Boys
|
2
|
0
|
0
|
2
|
0
|
7
|
-7
|
0
| |
TOTAL
|
32
|
13
|
6
|
13
|
66
|
66
|
0
|
45
| ||
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