GOING OUT IN A BLAZE OF GLORY
Yay! York’s Returning Glory won again! Just when I was beginning to think that our basement club’s only victory this season would be against me, they finally get another win. A Luke Young strike gave York’s a 1-0 win against Mega Buck Bandits, and of course the POTW £500,000. Well done Julian! This result does however keep Julian’s team at the bottom, but they’re now only 2 points behind Thommo’s Titans, the Titans going down by 2-0 to the in-form Dead Parrots. Prettier Than You slip to 14th, as a battle of in-form teams went the way of the Groove Machine, Louis Saha scoring the winner in a defence-dominated game.
The big top of the table clash this weekend ended in a 4-1 win for Aardvark Abacus over Trusted By Millions, with Jerrel Hasselbaink and Nolberto Solano both getting braces in this game. This moves Ady up to 2nd place on goal difference, albeit 7 points off leaders You Know Your Boston Rock FC. The “Sky Heroes” took advantage of Trusted’s loss to move further clear with a 2-1 victory over resurgent Real Muppets, Harry Kewell getting the winner in a tight game. However, Boston Rock themselves have Trusted to contend with next week, so it’s by no means all over yet…
Elsewhere, Fred West LGXI moved back up to 4th following the Muppets’ loss and their own 4-0 win over Eleven Imaginary Boys, Arjen Robben amongst the goals for Fred. Claymore Athletic won the battle of the bluenoses, former Evertonian Wayne Rooney bagging a brace in their 4-0 win over Nil; Satis Nisi Optimum. And Ceri the Stalemate Queen drew again – Final Fantasy XI’s 3-3 draw with San Dimas High School, with the High School’s Heidar Helguson scoring at both ends, was her 9th stalemate this season!
ROADRUNNER ROADRUNNER, GOING FASTER MILES AN HOUR
You’ve probably all seen Jared’s e-mail directly, but after a suggestion from the Big Man, I thought it a good idea to mention it in the newsletter. Jared, our esteemed colleague and manager of Eleven Imaginary Boys, is taking part in the 2006 Edinburgh Marathon on 11th June, to raise money for Research Autism, and is looking for sponsors.
This is the first time young Mr. Prothero has attempted something of this nature (although after 5 years of running around after young Aaron and Nathan, a marathon should be a doddle), so let’s all support him by adding to his pile of sponsor cash. Go Prov!!
I WROTE ELEGIAC STANZAS FOR YOU
…which apart from being one of the best lyric lines of recent times (originating from the excellent “It Ended On An Oily Stage” by British Sea Power), will also be the title of a new occasional feature in the newsletter; namely, the “Letters to the Editor” section! In response to literally several requests (well, one actually), I’ll consider for publication any letters, comments, blowing off steam etc., like this first one, a missive from deepest darkest Somerset, which in it’s edited form still comes under the “blowing off steam” category.
“Dear Editor; I recently purchased a player, but rather than being “fit for purpose” [he] was more like “fit for nothing”. [Following investigation] I can conclude; Moyes signed Per Kroldrup without going to see him himself. Udinese, the Italian club who Kroldrup was playing for, couldn’t believe their luck and immediately accepted Everton’s £5.1 million bid. After the player was signed, Moyes was apparently totally unimpressed with what he had seen and it was only then after he made enquiries with the recommending scout that it dawned on him. Everton had signed the WRONG player!!! The player the scout had watched had been Kroldrup’s centre-back partner!
Kroldrup [was] a stinker, out of his depth and Moyes knew it. The problem now was that other managers had now seen Kroldrup's non-performance so there was no chance of them getting back their £5.1 million - and he knew it.
It has been recently reported that Fiorentina have put in a bid for £3.6 million, my source tells me that is in fact bull, they have offered Everton £700,000. An agreement has been reached with Fiorentina to release to the media that the figure is £3.6 million, mainly, to save face at Everton Football Club. So, there you have it, mismanagement on a grand scale. Yours, Nil Satis”
Everton buying a crap player, now, there’s a first…
TRANSFER NEWS
Player From To Fee
Matt Holland (M) Claymore Athletic FC Pool £250K
Andreas Johansson (M) Pool Claymore Athletic FC £500K
Don’t forget that the players highlighted are now subject to the pool “cooling off” period, Any managers interested in buying them can bid until close of play Saturday 4 March 2006, after which time they go into the pool proper and are readily available. All bids to me please.
THE FF£100,000 QUESTION
Which Premiership striker rejoices in the middle name of Ivanhoe?
Answers to me by close of play Saturday 4 March 2006 As usual, first correct one out of the metaphorical hat gets the dosh.
The celebrating supporter who joined in Villa’s celebrations, following Dalian Atkinson’s wondergoal for Aston Villa against Wimbledon, was carrying an umbrella. He must’ve fancied himself as Gene Kelly or something…although if you remember seeing the clip on TV, the bloke’s curly hair and mad eyes made him look more like Gene Wilder!
Correct replies from Rachel (again? Flippin’ eck!), Dean, Peej and Ryan. The Dead Parrots were first out of the hat, so Dean wins the £100,000. Well done mate, and hard luck to the rest.
SHORTS
· Manager of the Month time again, and this time 2 teams managed to negotiate this short month with 100% win records intact. So step forward Dean Watts of The Dead Parrots and Rich Timms of the 22 Legged Groove Machine. Dean’s February saw him stomping back up to 6th place, his 3 wins including a 4-1 tonking of league leaders Boston Rock FC, whilst Rich’s 100% February saw him ease away from the danger zone, in points if not in places. Dean and Rich, you share the February 2006 Manager of the Month award and both receive £250,000 for your efforts this month. Well done chaps!
WSFFL RESULTS;
Week 20, W/E 25 February 2006
Eleven Imaginary Boys 0-4 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
(2) Robben
Babayaro
Silvestre
Brown 42,254
Mega Buck Bandits 0-1 York’s Returning Glory
(2) Young 23,104
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 0-4 Claymore Athletic FC
(1) Mellberg
Pogatetz
Rooney 2 26,594
Prettier Than You 0-1 22 Legged Groove Machine
(4) Saha 22,504
San Dimas High School 3-3 Final Fantasy XI
Helguson (1) Morton Gamst Pedersen
Terry Helguson (OG)
Boumsong Nolan 29,257
Thommo’s Titans 0-2 The Dead Parrots
Maik Taylor
Neill 24,061
Trusted By Millions 1-4 Aardvark Abacus
Barry (3) Solano 2
Hasselbaink 2 44,121
You Know Your Boston Rock FC 2-1 Real Muppets
Lampard (4) Ronaldo
Kewell 51,916
Performance of the Week: York’s Returning Glory
THE WSFFL LEAGUE TABLE, Season 2005/06
| ||||||||||
As at 26 February 2006
| ||||||||||
Team
|
P
|
W
|
D
|
L
|
F
|
A
|
Diff
|
Pts
| ||
1
|
You Know Your Boston Rock FC
|
20
|
14
|
2
|
4
|
58
|
22
|
36
|
44
| |
2
|
Aardvark Abacus
|
20
|
11
|
4
|
5
|
53
|
28
|
25
|
37
| |
3
|
Trusted By Millions
|
20
|
11
|
4
|
5
|
46
|
29
|
17
|
37
| |
4
|
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
|
20
|
10
|
4
|
6
|
50
|
36
|
14
|
34
| |
5
|
Real Muppets
|
20
|
10
|
2
|
8
|
38
|
32
|
6
|
32
| |
6
|
The Dead Parrots
|
20
|
8
|
5
|
7
|
39
|
30
|
9
|
29
| |
7
|
San Dimas High School
|
20
|
8
|
5
|
7
|
42
|
34
|
8
|
29
| |
8
|
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
|
20
|
9
|
2
|
9
|
30
|
36
|
-6
|
29
| |
9
|
Eleven Imaginary Boys
|
20
|
8
|
3
|
9
|
25
|
34
|
-9
|
27
| |
10
|
Claymore Athletic FC
|
20
|
6
|
8
|
6
|
34
|
32
|
2
|
26
| |
11
|
Final Fantasy XI
|
20
|
5
|
9
|
6
|
31
|
34
|
-3
|
24
| |
12
|
Mega Buck Bandits
|
20
|
6
|
6
|
8
|
24
|
31
|
-7
|
24
| |
13
|
22 Legged Groove Machine
|
20
|
7
|
3
|
10
|
21
|
46
|
-25
|
24
| |
14
|
Prettier Than You
|
20
|
6
|
5
|
9
|
26
|
38
|
-12
|
23
| |
15
|
Thommo's Titans
|
20
|
4
|
2
|
14
|
14
|
43
|
-29
|
14
| |
16
|
York's Returning Glory
|
20
|
2
|
6
|
12
|
17
|
43
|
-26
|
12
| |
TOTAL
|
320
|
125
|
70
|
125
|
548
|
548
|
0
|
445
| ||
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