10.15 SATURDAY NIGHT, AND THE TAP DRIPS
Well, it’s a welcome back to Fantasy League! And another welcome back is in order, as one of our own returns to the fold. Please welcome our newest managerial colleague, Mr. Jared Prothero!
Jared is taking over last year’s bottom team, Kylie Bumcheeks, after Rich Smith decided to bow out to free up time for his young family. Prov’s kids, on the other hand, are not so young now, so he can afford a bit of time to dabble in WSFFL again! Jared takes over a team that has plunged from Champions to last place in a record 2 seasons, so his first task is to arrest the slide. Jared has renamed his team Eleven Imaginary Boys, which makes it the 5th team in the league with a rock music-derived name. And quite right too.
WATCHING THE PEOPLE GET LAIRY
The AGM last Sunday was as usual more fun than immersing yourself in a warm vat of custard with the New England Patriots cheerleaders. Okay, I’m off on a wild tangent here, but anyway… The salient points from the AGM were as follows;
- The subscription charge was voted in unanimously at £8 again for this season. Thanks to Ryan for proposing and Rich for seconding my forecast.
- Ryan’s “Internal Transfer” rule change proposal was voted in unanimously. This rule will work as follows; if a player is transferred between Premiership clubs, the co-ordinator will offer the owning manager the opportunity of taking the transfer value instead of retaining the player in his or her squad. Should the owning manager take the cash, the co-ordinator will publish the player’s details in the next available Newsletter. The player will then be subject to single sealed bids from other interested managers under the “Pool Cooling Down” rule.
- My “Inverted Gate” rule change proposal was rejected on an 8-6 majority. However following further debate a supplementary rule change proposal, to increase the POTW award from £100,000 to £500,000, was voted in unanimously. This award will remain under the discretionary control of the co-ordinator. I can feel the power going to my head already…
- We paused for a moment to remember our friends and former WSFFL managerial colleagues Paul Cartmell and Andy Ballard, and drank a toast in their memory.
· The draw for the first round of the WSFFL Paul Cartmell Memorial Trophy was made, with Jared drawing the home teams and Pete the away teams. The draw pitted the top 8 teams from last year against the bottom 8 in random order, and came out as follows;
Aardvark Abacus v Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
Fred West Landscape G’dning XI v Prettier Than You
Trusted By Millions v Real Muppets
The Dead Parrots v Thommo’s Titans
Final Fantasy XI v Eleven Imaginary Boys
You Know Your Boston Rock FC v Mega Buck Bandits
San Dimas High School v York’s Returning Glory
Claymore Athletic FC v 22 Legged Groove Machine
The best possibly being saved for last, with champions Claymore Athletic FC being drawn against the dangerous 22 Legged Groove Machine in the tie of the round.
- Intermission grub, as ever, was shoo-perb. Thanks to Rachel for putting the buffet together single-handed (I offered to help but then never did, worthless slacker that I am).
- A lively Auction saw the top price of £16 million being paid for new Chelsea left-back Asier Del Horno by Fred West LGXI. Although the auction highlight for many was the “domestic” squabble between Boston Rock and Prettier Than You over the services of Anton Ferdinand, eventually bought by Rachel for £7 million. Thanks to all those managers who offered to lend her money to increase her bids against me, hrumph grumble bah.
- A fun quiz ensued as well after the Auction, with top prize going to the Big Man for scoring a mighty 20½ out of 30, pipping Peej by ½ a point and Beef, third, by a further point. The highlight of the quiz, though, was undoubtedly Peej and the Big Man’s duet on John Barnes’ rap from “World In Motion”. All together now; “You’ve got to hold and give…”
OH MY GOD I’VE BEEN BENT OUT OF SHAPE
Boston Rock FC’s big £8 million Summer signing Darren Bent celebrated a call-up to the England squad by firing in a brace in a 5-0 opening-day win for “The Sky Heroes”. However this result was matched by the Dead Parrots, for whom 5 different goalscorers notched opening-day goals as they went “nap” over Nil Satis Nisi Optimum. This result catapulted Dean to the top of the embryonic league table, and won him the first ever POTW half a mill. Well done cobber!
There were also opening day wins for Trusted By Millions, a Bevan Dodge contributing to Beef’s 2-1 win over Fred West LGXI, and champions Claymore Athletic, with their twin strike-force of Rooney and Henry both ominously getting off the mark in their 3-1 win over Thommo’s Titans.
Also opening day winners were potential title challengers San Dimas High School, with Stephen Davis getting a debut goal in their 3-1 win over Yorks. Prettier Than You also won, Matthew Etherington scoring on his debut for Rachel’s team, in their 2-0 win over a blank-sheet Real Muppets (there’s always one manager who forgets to put in a team, despite my reminders – I half expected it to be Fred again!). Ryan, a team next week might help…
The other 2 games finished in notable 1-1 draws. The Bevan Derby (the married one, that is) saw Final Fantasy XI and Mega Bucks share the points, and Eleven Imaginary Boys were set for a splendid opening-day win over Aardvark before William Gallas notched a late equaliser for the Abacus. Bad luck Prov!
TRANSFER NEWS
Transfers done since the AGM are as follows;
Player From To Fee
Gregory Vignal (D) Pool Dead Parrots £500K
Eric Djemba-Djemba (D) Pool Dead Parrots £500K
Kleberson (M) Thommo’s Titans Besiktas £500K
(undisclosed therefore refund)
Abdoulaye Faye (D) Pool Real Muppets £500K
Dean Whitehead (M) Pool Real Muppets £500K
Liam Lawrence (M) Pool Real Muppets £500K
Stephen Warnock (M) Pool Dead Parrots £500K
Shaka Hislop (G) 22 Legged Groove Machine Pool £250K
Thomas Myhre (G) Pool 22 Legged Groove Machine £500K
Mark Gonzalez (M) Pool Fred West LG XI £500K
Fitz Hall (D) 22 Legged Groove Machine Released (relegated) £1m
Nwankwo Kanu (A) Pool 22 Legged Groove Machine £500K
Antti Niemi (G) Mega Buck Bandits Released (relegated) £250K
Pascal Chimbonda (D) Pool Mega Buck Bandits £500K
Riccardo Scimeca (D) Final Fantasy XI Pool £250K
Ronnie Wallwork (D) Pool Final Fantasy XI £500K
Matthew Bates (D) Pool Final Fantasy XI £500K
Zeshan Rehman (D) Pool Thommo’s Titans £500K
Don’t forget that the players highlighted are now subject to the pool “cooling off” period, Any managers interested in buying them can bid until close of play Saturday 20 August 2005, after which time they go into the pool proper and are readily available. All bids to me please.
THE FF£100,000 QUESTION
Nasty one I know, but I couldn’t resist it to start with. Let’s see how many of you were paying attention earlier in the newsletter…
Jared’s Fantasy League team name Eleven Imaginary Boys has a rock-derived origin, being taken from the Cure’s first album “Three Imaginary Boys”. How many other rock-derived or rock-influenced names are there in the WSFFL, and who are they?
Answers to me by close of play Saturday 20 August 2005. As usual, first correct one out of the metaphorical hat gets the dosh.
WSFFL RESULTS;
Week 1, W/E 13 August 2005
Eleven Imaginary Boys 1-1 Aardvark Abacus
Sheringham (3) Gallas 38,072
Mega Buck Bandits 1-1 Final Fantasy XI
Clement (1) Campo 31,908
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 0-5 The Dead Parrots
(2) Edman
Niclas Jensen
Murphy
Kevin Davies
Tuore 23,575
Prettier Than You 2-0 Real Muppets
Paul Robinson (WBA)
Etherington 34,446
San Dimas High School 3-1 York’s Returning Glory
Stephen Davis (1) Todd
Terry
Senderos 33,305
Thommo’s Titans 1-3 Claymore Athletic FC
Van Persie Reo-Coker
Rooney
Henry 33,263
Trusted By Millions 2-1 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
Phillips (2) Van Nistelrooy
Knight 38,610
You Know Your Boston Rock FC 5-0 22 Legged Groove Machine
Rio Ferdinand (1)
Darren Bent 2
Defoe
Ferreira 42,983
Performance of the Week: The Dead Parrots
THE WSFFL LEAGUE TABLE, Season 2005/06
| ||||||||||
As at 14 August 2005
| ||||||||||
Team
|
P
|
W
|
D
|
L
|
F
|
A
|
Diff
|
Pts
| ||
1
|
The Dead Parrots
|
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
5
|
0
|
5
|
3
| |
2
|
You Know Your Boston Rock FC
|
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
5
|
0
|
5
|
3
| |
3
|
Claymore Athletic FC
|
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
1
|
2
|
3
| |
4
|
San Dimas High School
|
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
1
|
2
|
3
| |
5
|
Prettier Than You
|
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
2
|
0
|
2
|
3
| |
6
|
Trusted By Millions
|
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
2
|
1
|
1
|
3
| |
7
|
Aardvark Abacus
|
1
|
0
|
1
|
0
|
1
|
1
|
0
|
1
| |
8
|
Eleven Imaginary Boys
|
1
|
0
|
1
|
0
|
1
|
1
|
0
|
1
| |
9
|
Final Fantasy XI
|
1
|
0
|
1
|
0
|
1
|
1
|
0
|
1
| |
10
|
Mega Buck Bandits
|
1
|
0
|
1
|
0
|
1
|
1
|
0
|
1
| |
11
|
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
1
|
2
|
-1
|
0
| |
12
|
Thommo's Titans
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
1
|
3
|
-2
|
0
| |
13
|
York's Returning Glory
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
1
|
3
|
-2
|
0
| |
14
|
Real Muppets
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
0
|
2
|
-2
|
0
| |
15
|
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
0
|
5
|
-5
|
0
| |
16
|
22 Legged Groove Machine
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
0
|
5
|
-5
|
0
| |
TOTAL
|
16
|
6
|
4
|
6
|
27
|
27
|
0
|
22
| ||
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