Friday, 14 February 2020

2006/2007 - Newsletter 17 (30 December 2006)

ALL IS QUIET ON NEW YEAR’S DAY


I’ve probably used this particular lyric before, but it seemed appropriate, as we don’t actually have New Year’s Day fixtures this year! So let me take this opportunity, as ever, to wish all WSFFL Managers a Very Happy, Healthy and Prosperous 2007. May the New Year bring you as much excitement as awaits Rachel and myself in the Summer (well, not that much, maybe), and that you all continue having fun playing this great game of ours. That’s you as well, Pete, well at least till season’s end…!


I BELIEVE IN JUSTICE, I BELIEVE IN VENGEANCE


Congratulations to Trusted By Millions, the 2006/07 Paul Cartmell Memorial Trophy winners! Beef gained revenge for his loss against the same opponent in last year’s final, by beating Aardvark Abacus 2-0 in the repeat fixture this year. Goals from Lita and Barry secured the first pot of the season for Beef, so well done to him. A full report is in this newsletter. Enjoy!


SHE SAID, “UNPREDICTABILITY’S MY RESPONSIBILITY, BABY”


I can’t believe how tight it is at the top – after another unpredictable set of results this weekend, there are only 2 points between the top 4, and only 7 points separating the top ten in the table! Whoever has the cojones to really go on a winning streak from now, may just find themselves with a big pot to shine at season’s end…

So, Prettier Than You still find themselves staring down at the rest on top – this despite a 4-0 walloping by resurgent Real Muppets, for whom Ronaldo got a brace to move Ryan up to 5th spot. Aardvark stay second, this despite a 2-0 defeat by Eleven Imaginary Boys; Anelka and Nonda were both on target for Prov in a superb win which secured this week’s POTW half a million, ahead of a number of other worthy contenders. Well done Prov!

Nil Satis keep up their MOTM-winning run (see “Shorts”) with a thumping 4-0 win over the Dead Parrots, who despite their lowly position were unbeaten in 4 games. A Victor Anichebe double, his first goals for Nil Satis, helped Paul to the win. That Summer “Anichebe + cash for Pennant” deal is now looking good business for Paul… Up to 4th go the Groove Machine, 2 points off the pace; in a Cup First Round rehearsal, weekend opponents Boston Rock rued leaving Richards out, and Bent on the bench, as a Sonko header gave Rich all 3 points in a tight 1-0 win. D’oh!

Fred West LGXI slip from 4th to 6th after a 4-3 defeat by Trusted By Millions, who stay 8th but go level on points with 7th placed Boston Rock, in a goal fest at Cromwell Street. San Dimas, despite staying 9th, are themselves only 2 wins off top spot following their 1-0 win over bottom club York’s Returning Glory, Yakubu’s penalty cutting Julian further adrift.

Mega Bucks are up to 10th following a 5-1 thrashing of Final Fantasy XI in the Westmorland Road derby, Dave becoming a wife beater with help from Phil Neville’s double. You cad, you. Finally, Claymore Athletic FC are down to a terrible 13th spot after an equally gruesome 4-0 tonking at the hands of Thommo’s Titans, and Thierry Henry can’t come back soon enough for Clive.


FUNNY ME AND FUNNY YOU


Well, it’s been a funny old season so far, hasn’t it? Generally speaking, big Summer buys have yet to pay off, and a number of more unexpected teams have thrust themselves into WSFFL title contention, producing a slightly different looking and very close table, which in my view can only be a good thing. Here’s my half-term report – as ever, don't get too offended, this is meant as a constructive critique only!

Prettier Than You must be the team of the season to date. Rachel has done a brilliant job with a limited squad of unsung heroes (Bellamy is her only recognised first-teamer from the Premiership’s “big four”), to top the table at Christmas, and stay top despite recent erratic results. Keep it up girl!

Similar sentiments go to Nil Satis Nisi Optimum and the 22 Legged Groove Machine, both punching well above their weight and challenging at the top end, thanks to goals aplenty from the likes of Silva and Dyer, Saha and Kanu. Honestly, nothing would please me more than to hand over the WSFFL Champion’s trophy to one of Rachel, Paul or Rich (although it’s looking nice and snug on our cabinet, so here’s hoping it’s Rach I give it to!). It’s up to one of you to get the job done...

Aardvark Abacus, Fred West Landscape Gardening XI and You Know Your Boston Rock FC are, as expected, also challenging near the top (despite the Champion’s recent slump, they’re still only 5 points off the pace!). These 3 have strong squads and experience in title battles, so I wouldn’t be surprised if the eventual Champion is one of these 3. My money’s on Aardvark... Real Muppets have also finally found some form and are in the title shakedown. About time – with the calibre of players they have, this should be the norm rather than the exception!

Funny how the absence of one single player can seriously affect a team. Claymore Athletic FC and San Dimas High School are both suffering from the absence of key strikers (Henry, Ashton), and consequently are lower than expected. You can lump Trusted By Millions into that category – despite winning the first pot of the season, their league campaign has been disappointing, mainly down to the fact that big Summer signing Shevchenko simply hasn’t turned up yet. More was also expected from Final Fantasy XI this season. Their potent midfield has been strangely quiet and needs to really kick into gear to fulfil their potential.

Eleven Imaginary Boys have struggled in their sophomore season, finding Shearer’s boots big ones to fill. Anelka and Nonda have recently found where the net is, however, so hopefully Prov can push on. Mega Buck Bandits have scored more goals than expected (witness their “going nap” this weekend), and McCarthy’s strike-rate might be vital to keep Dave’s team in mid-table. Likewise, Harewood needs to start finding the net again, otherwise the Dead Parrots’ season might continue as a forgettable struggle. Apart from beating me as usual, that is, Dean...!

Poor old York’s Returning Glory tried a change of tack in the Summer, buying proven Premiership performers such as Hasselbaink, but again it’s not worked and they find themselves stuck at the bottom. Chin up Julian, keep going mate! Thommo’s Titans have also struggled near the bottom, and Pete’s imminent departure may keep them there this season. However a new manager next season may see the undoubted promise of the Titans team start to be fulfilled...


TRANSFER NEWS


Clive finally signs the back-up striker he’d been jonesin’ for all season – then Sutton promptly goes and bumps his head and is out for six weeks!

Player                         From                                       To                               Fee

Nigel Reo-Coker (M) Claymore Athletic FC       YKY Boston Rock FC      £3.5m
Chris Sutton (A)         YKY Boston Rock FC      Claymore Athletic FC      £500K


THE FF£100,000 QUESTION

Which young Premiership striker has the middle names “George Best”?

Answers to me by close of play Saturday 6 January 2007. As usual, first correct one out of the metaphorical hat gets the dosh.

The people responsible for the Xmas Special quotes are as follows;

1. Rio Ferdinand, reflecting on the disappointment of England’s World Cup showing with fellow Sainsbury’s shoppers.
2. Sir Elton John, also reflecting on the above, during a gig in Bournemouth. Course, he could always pop one in from 12 yards…
3. The Queen, whilst knighting Football League Chairman, Dave Richards. And let’s face it, with her family, she should know a prima donna when she sees one…
4. Jose Mourinho, proving that “Sorry” really is the hardest word, whilst retracting his “Johnson dives” allegation recently.
5. Who else but our favourite hair-brained commentator, Chris Kamara, getting a little tongue tied.



THE FF£100,000 QUESTION (continued)

Correct replies were received for all 5 quotes from Dean, Clive and Ryan, and I got no wrong guesses. Clive actually admitted he googled the lot, and I have my suspicions about the other two, you naughty boys! I dunno, if this continues, I might have to just stop doing this feature; after all it is supposed to be a test of football knowledge, not who’s got the whizziest search engine on their PC!

Anyway, instead of doing “first out of the hat” 5 times, I just decided to divide the Chrimbo half a mill total between these 3 bosses. So Claymore, the Muppets and the Parrots are all £133,333 richer (and I’ve kept the spare quid for myself…!).


SHORTS

·      While researching the above “quotes” Newsletter quiz, I came across one from Joey Barton, who is fast becoming one of my favourite players with this attitude. Check this out; “England did nothing in that World Cup so why were they bringing books out? “We got beat in the Quarter Finals. I played like shit. Here’s my book”. Who wants to read that?” Chap!
·      Did you hear Sam Allardyce complaining about Newcastle United’s “dirty” tactics after the Bolton-Newcastle game last weekend? The words “pot”, “kettle” and “black” couldn’t help leaping to the front of my mind…
·      December 2006 Manager of the Month was a toughie, as there were many worthy candidates. However, one team went win-crazy this month, putting together 5 straight 3 pointers to just tip Ryan’s Real Muppet’s team (4 wins, one draw) to the prize. It’s Paul Saleh of Nil Satis Nisi Optimum, who’s also taken to reporting in a new team each week! Your efforts have been rewarded with a strong 3rd place in the table and the December 2006 Manager of the Month £250,000 award. Well done mate!
·      Not that it mattered, but this weekend’s Wigan-Watford game proved to be the second ever abandonment in the history of WSFFL. So I just put the precedent set last season (when Sunderland’s Stadium of Light became the Stadium of White as a blizzard enveloped Mackem-land) into play, and the game became a “never was”. It meant Mega Bucks didn’t get their Heskey goal, but as that saved wife Ceri from further scoreline embarrassment, that probably was no bad thing, right Dave?



The PAUL CARTMELL MEMORIAL TROPHY 2006/07 FINAL
Boxing Day, Tuesday 26th December 2006

Trusted By Millions                                       2
Lita 67, Barry 81

Vs

Aardvark Abacus                                          0

At the Millennium Stadium, Cardiff, Attendance 78,000

Trusted By Millions Team:
Jaaskaleinen
Barry, Dawson, Carragher, Ben Haim
Kranjcar, Sidwell, Milner, Gerrard
Shevchenko, Lita
Subs: Schwarzer, Cahill, Davis (on 1 for Kranjcar), Angel (on 58 for Shevchenko)

Aardvark Abacus Team:
Kirkland
Carvalho, Riise, Hreidarsson, Heinze
Scholes, Park, Emre, Alonso
Adebayor, Kuyt
Subs: Jones, Campbell, O’Neil (on 62 for Scholes), Doyle

Revenge is a dish best served cold, goes the saying, and Trusted By Millions waited a full year before they could exact revenge on Aardvark Abacus. But cometh the hour, cometh the man, as a Gareth Barry-inspired performance ensured the 2006/07 Paul Cartmell Memorial Trophy final was won by Trusted By Millions, by a 2-0 scoreline.

As befits a clash of two old rivals, the first half was a dour affair with the two teams sizing each other up. Long range efforts from Scholes and occasional buccaneering Gerrard runs enlivened proceedings, however, and the second half promised more.

Trusted switched into life following the early withdrawal of the ineffective Shevchenko. Gareth Barry, nominally left back but playing a more advanced role, then became more influential, and was the architect for Trusted’s opener, midway through the half. His searching midfield pass found Sidwell on the left flank, who crossed for Lita to fire home from close range, nipping in ahead of Carvalho.

Aardvark tried to hit back through Adebayor, but he overran an opportunity and Kuyt was unable to capitalise on the loose ball. However with 10 minutes to go, Trusted broke again. Gerrard fed Barry, and he capped a Man of the Match performance with a surging run, out-muscling Hreidarsson to fire the clinching goal into the bottom left corner. So it’s Trusted’s Cup - well done Beef!

WSFFL RESULTS;
Week 16, W/E 30 December 2006


Aardvark Abacus                                  0-2     Eleven Imaginary Boys

                                                                 (1)      Nonda
                                                                           Anelka                                  38,682

Claymore Athletic FC                           0-4     Thommo’s Titans

                                                                           Howard
                                                                           Leigertwood
                                                                           Bocanegra
                                                                           Bryan Hughes                      26,699

The Dead Parrots                                  0-4     Nil Satis Nisi Optimum

                                                                           Lescott
                                                                           Yobo
                                                                           Anichebe 2                           34,574

Final Fantasy XI                                   1-5     Mega Buck Bandits

Garcia                                                                Finnan
                                                                           Phil Neville 2
                                                                           Campo
                                                                           McCarthy                             32,086

Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 3-4     Trusted By Millions

Matt Taylor                                                        Barry
Volz                                                                   Carragher
Drogba                                                               Aurelio
                                                                           Lita                                       36,170

Real Muppets                                        4-0     Prettier Than You

Agger                                                       (1)
Abdoulaye Faye
Ronaldo 2                                                                                                       75,910

22 Legged Groove Machine                 1-0     You Know Your Boston Rock FC

Sonko                                                                                                              41,926

York’s Returning Glory                       0-1     San Dimas High School

                                                                 (1)      Yakubu                                22,653



Performance of the Week: Eleven Imaginary Boys















THE 2006/07 WSFFL LEAGUE TABLE









As at Saturday 30 December 2006





















Team
P
W
D
L
F
A
Diff
Pts












1
Prettier Than You
16
9
3
4
28
22
6
30

2
Aardvark Abacus
16
9
2
5
38
24
14
29

3
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
16
9
2
5
39
26
13
29

4
22 Legged Groove Machine
16
8
4
4
23
18
5
28

5
Real Muppets
16
7
5
4
32
24
8
26

6
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
16
8
2
6
31
29
2
26

7
You Know Your Boston Rock FC
16
7
4
5
32
26
6
25

8
Trusted By Millions
16
7
4
5
29
25
4
25

9
San Dimas High School
16
7
3
6
25
29
-4
24

10
Mega Buck Bandits
16
7
2
7
28
27
1
23

11
Final Fantasy XI
16
5
4
7
22
25
-3
19

12
Eleven Imaginary Boys
16
5
4
7
20
25
-5
19

13
Claymore Athletic FC
16
5
2
9
31
36
-5
17

14
The Dead Parrots
16
4
4
8
20
34
-14
16

15
Thommo's Titans
16
3
5
8
21
28
-7
14

16
York's Returning Glory
16
3
0
13
16
37
-21
9
























TOTAL
256
103
50
103
435
435
0
359













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