Friday, 14 February 2020

2005/2006 - Newsletter 13 (18 December 2005)

SOME FAIRY LIGHTS AND TINSEL DON’T MAKE UP FOR THE FACT THAT IT’S FREEZING

The Yuletide season is nearly upon us, so despite the downer lyric above, WSFFL Co-ordinator Central would like to take this opportunity to wish the WSFFL managership a Mele Kalikimaka, or Feliz Navi-nada, whatever floats your boat. A Happy Merry to all!

But don’t forget, the WSFFL doesn’t stop for Chrimbo; there’s fixtures aplenty over the festive season, including the first silverware of the year to be awarded (and chiselled off my mantelpiece). Check “Forthcoming Fixtures” for the full skinny!


FATHER SAYS, “YOUR MOTHER’S RIGHT, SHE’S REALLY UP ON THINGS”

New mum Ceri makes all the headlines this weekend – her Final Fantasy XI team’s superb 3-1 win over Trusted By Millions, courtesy of unsung heroes Pollitt, Jarosik and a Zat Knight own goal, knocks Trusted off the top of the table and wins her a deserved POTW half a million. Well done Mum!

This result means that Boston Rock will top the table on Christmas Day this year. Claymore gave Boston Rock an early Chrimbo present this weekend by leaving Michael Owen on the bench, Boston Rock sneaking a lucky 2-1 win with a Jermaine Jenas free-kick and a late Ferreira strike. “The Sky Heroes” are top, ahead of Trusted on goal difference again, but the battle has definitely extended to a 3-way scrap. Fred West Landscape Gardening XI, courtesy of a 3-0 win over Mega Bucks this weekend, now lie only 3 points off the pace, and meet Boston Rock on New Year’s Eve…

Up to 4th again in a congested chasing pack go Eleven Imaginary Boys, 2-1 winners over York’s Returning Glory thanks to Shearer and a Joey Barton penalty. Aardvark Abacus slip to 5th after an impressive San Dimas performance turned them over, 4-2 the score with a Yakubu double the highlight for Peej. Real Muppets slip to 6th, after a Henri Camara hat-trick powered Nil Satis Nisi Optimum to a 3-2 win over Ryan’s team, Paul’s Blues now level on points with Ryan in 7th.

At the bottom, York’s defeat now leaves them 6 points adrift, as the 22 Legged Groove Machine beat Thommo’s Titans 3-0, thanks to a fine brace from Stelios Giannakopoulos. Thommo slips to 13th as a consequence, and also going in the wrong direction are Prettier Than You, who lost 3-1 against the Dead Parrots. Rachel slips down two places to 12th as a result of that loss.


YOU SEE, YOU FEEL, YOU KNOW, REACT, YOU’RE WAITING, CHANGE

Which I believe (Big Man, correct me if I’m wrong) is the complete lyric to Killing Joke’s classic “Change”… anyway, this heralds the Results of the Mid-Season Recategorisation Process. Or, as we’re calling it this year, old boys Sheriff and Peej being Billy No-Mates, staying in surfing the web on a Friday night while their significantly younger significant others go out on the razz…

Anyway, yes, the Recat Process has been completed, and these are the findings;

·      David Bentley (Blackburn on loan, Boston Rock FC) from MIDFIELD to ATTACK
·      Luis Boa Morte (Fulham, York’s Returning Glory) from MIDFIELD to ATTACK
·      Jamie Carragher (Liverpool, Trusted By Millions) from DEFENCE to MIDFIELD
·      John Aarne Riise (Liverpool, Aardvark Abacus) from DEFENCE to MIDFIELD
·      Stephen Jordan (Manchester City, Final Fantasy XI) from DEFENCE to MIDFIELD
·      Guiseppe Rossi (Manchester United, Trusted By Millions) from MIDFIELD to ATTACK
·      Stuart Parnaby (Middlesbrough, Real Muppets) from DEFENCE to MIDFIELD
·      Daniel Graham (Middlesbrough, pool) from DEFENCE to ATTACK
·      Anthony Le Tallec (Sunderland on loan, Trusted By Millions) from MIDFIELD to ATTACK
·      Wayne Routledge (Tottenham, Prettier Than You) from MIDFIELD to ATTACK

Now, there’s some pretty preposterous ones up there (as well as some grave omissions – I mean, how does premierleague.com still think that Gareth Barry is a defender? He hasn’t played in defence since the flippin’ Villa youth team!!), so I’m sure some managers will have issues with the above. Therefore, as usual, we have an Appeals Process, in case any of you aren’t happy with these revised categorisations, or indeed the categorisations of any other of your players. Here’s how it’s gonna go down;

·      Managers to let me have any appeals by NO LATER THAN Saturday 7 January 2006 (well, it’s something to do during a dull moment over Chrimbo, possibly while “The Great Escape” is on the telly)
·      The Appeal Review Board will sit during the week commencing Monday 10 January. The Review Board will comprise of myself and recat guru Peej, and any members of the Exec Committee (Ady, Rich and Paul Saleh) who we can get hold of, either in person or on the end of a phone.
·      Managers will be notified immediately of any positional changes.
·      Positional changes to take effect from Week 16, on 14 January.


RECAT (Continued)

So all managers will know the positions of all of their players by the January Transfer Window Auction in early February, so you know where you need to strengthen!

I look forward to a deluge of appeals (well, from Beef mainly…!)


PLEASE WAIT AT THE GATE OF HEAVEN FOR ME, TERRY

I’m such a dumb bunny dept.; in my haste to get last week’s newsletter out, I forgot to credit San Dimas with John Terry’s goal last weekend, so Peej lost 3-1, not 3-0, to the Groove Machine. Profuse apologies to the Peej-meister. Here’s the correct score;

San Dimas High School                        1-3     22 Legged Groove Machine

Terry                                                        (2)      Dickov 2
                                                                           Ramage                                25,472

The table has been amended accordingly.


TRANSFER NEWS


Some fine tuning for the league leaders, and some serious overhauling for San Dimas, mean both Aston Villa left-backs are dumped this weekend!! Weird.

Player                                     From                                       To                               Fee

George McCartney (D)        Trusted By Millions                Pool                             £1m
Marcus Bent (A)                     Pool                                         Trusted By Millions    £500K
Roy Keane (M)                       Eleven Imaginary Boys          Celtic                           Free
Wilfred Bouma (D)               YKY Boston Rock FC            Pool                             £2.875m
Michael Gray (D)                   Pool                             YKY Boston Rock FC            £500K
Jlloyd Samuel (D)                 San Dimas High School          Pool                             £250K
Stefan Postma (G)                 San Dimas High School          Pool                             £450K
Matt Holland (M)                 San Dimas High School          Pool                             £2m
Liam Miller (M)                    San Dimas High School          Pool                             £3.25m
Nico Vaesen (G)                     Pool                             San Dimas High School          £500K
Paul Robinson (D)                  Pool                             San Dimas High School          £500K
Amdy Faye (M)                      Pool                             San Dimas High School          £500K
Svetoslav Todorov (A)           Pool                             San Dimas High School          £500K


Don’t forget that the players highlighted are now subject to the pool “cooling off” period, Any managers interested in buying them can bid until close of play Saturday 24 December 2005, after which time they go into the pool proper and are readily available. All bids to me please.



THE FESTIVE ffONE MILLION POUND QUIZ!

I’ve been running the Newsletter Question spot for 5½ seasons now, so I thought this year’s Xmas quiz should be all about the Newsletter questions! So here goes. Up to and including last week’s newsletter question (answer below and won by Clive);

1. Two managers are jointly tied as having won the most Newsletter questions. Who are these two esteemed brainboxes?
2. Which current manager has NEVER got a Newsletter question right? (It’s only one of you)
3. How many questions has NO-ONE got right?
4. What’s the highest number of correct guesses I’ve received to a Newsletter question? (a special swot’s £100,000 to anyone who remembers what that question was!)
5. Prior to my recent George Best tribute picture, the only photograph previously featured in the Newsletter was as a result of a Newsletter Question. Who was it of?

Answers to me by close of play Saturday 24 December 2005. As usual, first correct answer out of the metaphorical hat, for each question, gets the dosh.

I’ll give £200,000 for each of these 5 questions, or in the case of no-one getting questions 3 or 4 right, £200,000 to the nearest guess. So there’s a cool million up for grabs this weekend. Worth some guesses, no?


The European Cup Final half-time bet cost Jlloyd Samuel a new £70,000 Porsche Cayenne. Samuel’s girlfriend Emma still thought Liverpool could come back from their half-time 3-0 deficit, however Samuel was so convinced the Scousers were dead and buried, he said he’d replace Emma’s BMW with a new Porsche if Steven Gerrard lifted the trophy at the end of the evening. By 11 a.m. the next morning, Samuel was shelling out 70 grand at the local Porsche dealership. Ouchie!

I was happy to take “car” or permutation thereof as a correct reply here. So, correct replies from Clive (“a car of some description”) and Rachel (“a car, either a Porsche or BMW”). The £100,000 cash goes to Claymore Athletic FC, so well done Clive and hard luck Rachel.

A wrong ‘un from Ceri, who went for an expensive ring. Watch out Dave, she’s after more jewellery…!






WSFFL RESULTS;

Week 12, W/E 17 December 2005



Aardvark Abacus                                  2-4     San Dimas High School

Robbie Keane                                          (1)      Solano OG
Gallas                                                                 Queudrue
                                                                           Yakubu 2                             34,836

Claymore Athletic FC                           1-2     You Know Your Boston Rock FC

Rooney                                                    (1)      Jenas
                                                                           Ferreira                                 38,347

The Dead Parrots                                  3-1     Prettier Than You

Diop                                                         (1)      N’Gotty
Kevin Davies
Harewood                                                                                                       27,614

Final Fantasy XI                                   3-1     Trusted By Millions

Knight OG                                                         Mido
Jarosik
Pollitt                                                                                                              34,500

Fred West Landscape Gardening XI  3-0     Mega Buck Bandits

Van Nistelrooy                                        (1)
Robben
Matthew Taylor                                                                                              37,128

Real Muppets                                        2-3     Nil Satis Nisi Optimum

Joe Cole                                                   (1)      Camara 3
Gary Neville                                                                                                   41,343

22 Legged Groove Machine                 3-0     Thommo’s Titans

Giannakopoulos 2
Ashdown                                                                                                         20,052

York’s Returning Glory                       1-2     Eleven Imaginary Boys

Boa Morte                                               (1)      Barton
                                                                           Shearer                                 20,138



Performance of the Week: Final Fantasy XI













THE WSFFL LEAGUE TABLE, Season 2005/06







As at 18 December 2005





















Team
P
W
D
L
F
A
Diff
Pts












1
You Know Your Boston Rock FC
12
9
0
3
33
10
23
27

2
Trusted By Millions
12
9
0
3
31
16
15
27

3
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
12
7
3
2
35
17
18
24

4
Eleven Imaginary Boys
12
6
2
4
17
16
1
20

5
Aardvark Abacus
12
5
3
4
26
21
5
18

6
Real Muppets
12
5
2
5
22
19
3
17

7
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
12
5
2
5
15
20
-5
17

8
The Dead Parrots
12
4
4
4
22
18
4
16

9
Claymore Athletic FC
12
4
4
4
19
19
0
16

10
San Dimas High School
12
4
3
5
20
19
1
15

11
Final Fantasy XI
12
3
5
4
19
22
-3
14

12
Prettier Than You
12
3
4
5
11
19
-8
13

13
Thommo's Titans
12
4
1
7
9
23
-14
13

14
Mega Buck Bandits
12
3
3
6
13
24
-11
12

15
22 Legged Groove Machine
12
3
3
6
13
29
-16
12

16
York's Returning Glory
12
1
3
8
12
25
-13
6
























TOTAL
192
75
42
75
317
317
0
267













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