AND JUST LIKE THE EARLY BIRD CATCHES THE WORM, THE EARLY CAT CATCHES THE BIRD
I might as well give you an early (very early, in fact) heads-up about this… The WSFFL 2006 AGM/ Auction will be held at our place, on Sunday 30 July 2006. Time 7.00 p.m. for a 7.30 prompt start.
I appreciate this is a weekend earlier than the usual “Sunday-before-the-Premiership-starts” date. There are 2 reasons for this. Firstly, we will have Evan staying with us the following weekend, and on that Sunday (6th August) we’d be preparing to go on holiday the following morning. However, more importantly, our Dead Parrot colleague Dean Watts will be in the country on 30 July, visiting from Australia, so it made sense to rearrange the AGM so Dean could attend. Hopefully this means the rest of you will still be able to!
This also throws up a bit of a quandary vis a vis the auction, as following the AGM there will be a full month before the Summer transfer window closes, with lots of opportunity for Premiership clubs to strengthen their squads. Now, I’ve already discussed this with a few of you, but we have a couple of options here;
· Operate the 48 hour rule as usual for those players signed after the auction, or
· Hold a separate Auction in early September (along similar lines as the now-customary January auction) for those players!
The separate auction idea seemed popular, and I must say I favour it, so that’s what we’ll do, unless anyone has any major earth-shattering objections to it. Let me know if so!
GUESS I’VE GOT MY FEET IN THE SKY, AND I WONDER WHY
Following their 7th victory in a end-of-season 8 game unbeaten run this weekend, You Know Your Boston Rock FC stand on the verge of a record-breaking season. Victory in their final game against San Dimas High School next Sunday would give “The Sky Heroes” a total of 69 points, a record for a 30-game WSFFL season, and also the highest ever points-per-game average, a record currently held by the 2002/03 title-winning Kylie Bumcheeks team. “The Sky Heroes” propelled themselves to the precipice of history with a 3-0 win over Thommo’s Titans, to remain 9 points clear of 2nd place Aardvark Abacus.
The Abacus also continued their recent prodigious goalscoring form with a 6-0 win over bottom club York’s Returning Glory, featuring braces by defenders Gallas and Carvalho. Following 2 wins this weekend, Trusted By Millions remain in 3rd, 2 points back, and can now only overhaul Aardvark for the 2nd spot if they win their last game and Aardvark lose; or if Aardvark draw and they win by 25 goals!
Fred’s Week 28 postponement backfired on him, as Trusted By Millions cantered to a 3-0 win in the rearranged fixture. Trusted also won their scheduled game, 2-1 against Mega Bucks with a Steven Gerrard brace. Fred remains in 4th after winning his scheduled game with Final Fantasy XI by 2-0, Given and Babayaro on target for Fred.
San Dimas High School remain in 5th, but still level with points with Fred after beating Eleven Imaginary Boys 2-1 with goals from Scharner and a Chris Powell own goal. San Dimas need to better Fred’s result in their last game against Champions Boston Rock to overhaul him. Claymore, 6th, are another team finishing the season strongly, after “going nap” on the 22 Legged Groove Machine, 5-1 the score with Nigel Reo-Coker amongst the goals for Clive.
In the congested mid-table, 3 points separate 7 teams and they could all change positions in the final fixture next weekend. Nil Satis Nisi Optimum propelled themselves back in contention for a top half finish, hauling themselves to 9th with a James McFadden-inspired 1-0 win over Prettier Than You. This performance also won Paul the POTW £500,000. Well done chap! They close to level points with their weekend opponents, although Rachel, who regretted omitting Richard Dunne this weekend, retains 8th spot by virtue of goal difference, and remains one point behind Prov’s Imaginary Boys.
The Dead Parrots also moved up the table, up 3 places to 10th with a 3-2 win over slumping Real Muppets, who drop to 13th as a result of their current poor run. But it could all still change on the last day!
FEET DON’T FAIL ME NOW
I Am Nostradamus Dept.; I only just said it in last week’s newsletter, but after the events of the weekend I feel moved to say it again! Metatarsal!!!!! If you’d asked me 5 years ago what a metatarsal was, I’d have gone for some form of forest-dwelling prehensile-tailed lemur. Now, thanks to Wayne Rooney’s injury at the weekend, it’s the most hated and feared word in the English language.
Now, I must admit to feeling some guilt about Rooney’s injury, seeing as it was Boston Rock’s Paulo Ferreira who felled England’s great World Cup hope, although the tackle itself looked innocuous and wasn’t even given as a foul. However surely, surely, the majority of the blame must lie with the boot manufacturers! It can’t just be coincidence, given the litany of people succumbing to this injury (Beckham, Owen, Rooney now twice, King, Parker, Murphy, Neville and Gerrard for starters, and all since 2002). And all since boot manufacturers started focussing on “touch” and “feel” (and probably fashionable marketability) rather than good old-fashioned sturdiness. You never heard Nat Lofthouse or “Chopper” Harris going “ooh, me metatarsal”, did you? Well, that’s because they wore proper bloody boots!
And I’m not the only one who thinks this way – on my way home from work this lunchtime (yup, some of us have to work Bank Holidays) I tuned into Radio 5 live and some foot doctor or other learned individual was offering exactly the same opinion. I dunno, I’m wasted in my job…
DON’T NEED A WEATHERMAN TO KNOW WHICH WAY THE WIND BLOWS
Some considered responses to my point about Arsene last week. Rich, who we can always call upon for rational argument, reasoned thus; “yes, Wenger is just a whiney tosser!!” Succinct as always, Big Man. Peej was also in my camp, arguing “I agree with your ‘ball out of play’ rant. You only had to watch the way the Villareal players got back to their feet last night when Arsenal put the ball out to know which way the wind’s blowing with this ‘rule’.” And Clive agreed, with “I am totally on your side over the Tottenham goal arguement. I concur with all your comments, which I voiced myself to Claire, only for her to look at me blankly. Women (some/most) just don’t get it.” Don’t say that too loudly in front of our female manager colleagues, Clive lad…
No-one disagreed with me – well, no-one who mailed me about it anyway! So FA, listen; let play continue. The WSFFL has spoken!
TRANSFER NEWS
Pete’s thinking to the future, adding a highly rated youngster to the ranks of the Titans…
Player From To Fee
Nicklas Bendtner (A) Pool Thommo’s Titans £500K
THE FF£100,000 QUESTION
Last one of the year then. I got this one from a recent “A Question of Sport”, so I hope no-one was watching…
Which player scored more than half his club’s Premiership goals last season (2004/05)?
Answers to me by close of play Saturday 6 May 2006. As usual, first correct one out of the metaphorical hat gets the dosh.
In the history of the Premiership, the player with most bookings without being sent off is Bolton Wanderers and York’s Returning Glory’s midfield veteran Gary Speed. Up until April Fool’s day, he’d gotten 63 yellow cards without being shown a red. Speed also, of course, holds the record for most Premiership appearances. But I think I asked that question already…
I got 4 correct replies this week, from Ryan, Peej, Clive and Rachel. Ryan’s was the first name out of the hat, so the hundred grand goes to Real Muppets. Well done Ryan!
SHORTS
· In my glee at getting the job done last weekend, I undersold myself by saying my 1-0 victory over the Groovers was my 3rd win on the trot. Actually, it was my 4th, but my 3rd 1-0 win in that sequence, the other being a 2-0 win. Talk about tiptoeing in over the line…
· Another correction – this time prompted by the Big Man, who writes; “Ady and I did meet in a cup final. The PCMT (when it was just the League Cup I believe). I got a tupping and Ady called my team’s performance “shambolic” He wasn’t far wrong.” Rich is referring to the 1996/97 League Cup Final, which saw Aardvark beat the Groovers 4-1. Can’t help but agree with Ady there…
· And as an addendum to the above, Clive also pointed out a father/ son final, of course; “I give you the 1996/97 FA Cup Final - Claymore Athletic FC v Fred West Landscape Gardening XI (2-1). Aaahh memories!”
· April 2006 Manager of the Month time, and there are many noble candidates this time around, with Aardvark and Trusted both going through the month unbeaten, and Prettier Than You appearing in their first Cup Final, and hauling themselves into the top half of the table. However, only one team completed a full sweep of wins in April, so I feel duty-bound to give them the £250,000 award. Yup, David Rose of You Know Your Boston Rock FC is the April 2006 Manager of the Month following their 100% record in April, “The Sky Heroes” collecting the league and cup double in the process. So, erm, well done me!
· By the way; with the WSFFL month of May being only one fixture long, I’ve decided that the May Manager of the Month will be the team who wins the Week 30 Performance of the Week. I’ll make sure next week’s POTW will be a winning, rather than a drawing, side, which I’ve occasionally tended to do. So, plenty to play for on the last day of the season – £750,000 up for grabs on one performance!
· Anyone seen the posters for the new film “The Da Vinci Code” ? In the line-up of 5 people, alongside the recognisable visages of actors Ian McKellen, Tom Hanks and that French bloke with the big nose (plus some slapper I don’t recognise), is someone who appears to be Everton manager David Moyes in a hooded robe. Freaky…
WSFFL RESULTS;
Week 28, W/E 29 April 2006 (rearranged fixture)
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 0-3 Trusted By Millions
(2) Gerrard 2
Dawson 24,462
Week 29, W/E 29 April 2006
Aardvark Abacus 6-0 York’s Returning Glory
Gallas 2
Carvalho 2
Eboue
Cech 44,003
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 2-0 Final Fantasy XI
Given
Babayaro 42,219
Mega Buck Bandits 1-2 Trusted By Millions
Fabregas (3) Gerrard 2 36,179
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 1-0 Prettier Than You
McFadden (1) 41,128
Real Muppets 2-3 The Dead Parrots
Joe Cole (1) Carr
Morientes Tuore
Neill 26,254
San Dimas High School 2-1 Eleven Imaginary Boys
Chris Powell (OG) (1) Lennon
Scharner 44,479
Thommo’s Titans 0-3 You Know Your Boston Rock FC
Ferreira
Gray
Robinson 28,331
22 Legged Groove Machine 1-5 Claymore Athletic FC
Benjani (2) Malbranque
Henry
Clichy
Weir
Reo-Coker 29,224
Performance of the Week: Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
THE WSFFL LEAGUE TABLE, Season 2005/06
| ||||||||||
As at 1 May 2006
| ||||||||||
Team
|
P
|
W
|
D
|
L
|
F
|
A
|
Diff
|
Pts
| ||
1
|
You Know Your Boston Rock FC
|
29
|
21
|
3
|
5
|
79
|
32
|
47
|
66
| |
2
|
Aardvark Abacus
|
29
|
17
|
6
|
6
|
88
|
42
|
46
|
57
| |
3
|
Trusted By Millions
|
29
|
16
|
7
|
6
|
63
|
41
|
22
|
55
| |
4
|
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
|
29
|
14
|
4
|
11
|
66
|
48
|
18
|
46
| |
5
|
San Dimas High School
|
29
|
13
|
7
|
9
|
57
|
44
|
13
|
46
| |
6
|
Claymore Athletic FC
|
29
|
11
|
9
|
9
|
60
|
48
|
12
|
42
| |
7
|
Eleven Imaginary Boys
|
29
|
11
|
6
|
12
|
39
|
49
|
-10
|
39
| |
8
|
Prettier Than You
|
29
|
11
|
5
|
13
|
46
|
49
|
-3
|
38
| |
9
|
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
|
29
|
11
|
5
|
13
|
40
|
61
|
-21
|
38
| |
10
|
The Dead Parrots
|
29
|
10
|
7
|
12
|
56
|
52
|
4
|
37
| |
11
|
22 Legged Groove Machine
|
29
|
11
|
4
|
14
|
33
|
63
|
-30
|
37
| |
12
|
Mega Buck Bandits
|
29
|
9
|
9
|
11
|
36
|
41
|
-5
|
36
| |
13
|
Real Muppets
|
29
|
10
|
6
|
13
|
50
|
56
|
-6
|
36
| |
14
|
Final Fantasy XI
|
29
|
8
|
10
|
11
|
40
|
45
|
-5
|
34
| |
15
|
Thommo's Titans
|
29
|
6
|
3
|
20
|
23
|
67
|
-44
|
21
| |
16
|
York's Returning Glory
|
29
|
3
|
9
|
17
|
25
|
63
|
-38
|
18
| |
TOTAL
|
464
|
182
|
100
|
182
|
801
|
801
|
0
|
646
| ||
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