2000/2001 - Newsletter 2 (26 August 2000)

SO THE SKY HEROES FLY

You Know Your Boston Rock FC top the league, following a 7-2 demolition of last year’s league runners-up Woodchester Rovers, a stunning performance which also earns the Beantown boys the Team of the Week hundred grand. So well done me!

Laurels are not to be rested on, however, as champions Mega Buck, Claymore (my tip for the big one), Willy Shakey and the unexpectedly impressive Viola’s Pier also have 100% records. At the other end, 5 teams have yet to get off the mark, including, surprisingly, The Groove Machine, who prop up the table following defeat by Mega Bucks, thanks to “bad boy” Patrick Vieira’s double salvo. Hopefully the Big Man’s recent talent spotting trip to Leeds will improve his form. We’ll wait and see…

Elsewhere, the first draw of the campaign was recorded, with the big money forwards of Real Muppets and Nil Satis firing blanks during their Dean Street clash.

MIDWEEK ON THE PLAYING FIELDS, SIR THWACKS YOU ON THE KNEES, KNEES YOU IN THE GROIN

Watching the old Top Table Posse boys play footy at Dorcan on Tuesday night is always good for a giggle. Case in point last week, against Cricklade. Not only was Cricklade’s first goal scored thanks to former WSFFL boss Bags allowing the ball to slip through his hands like a cartoon cat trying to gain purchase on a particularly slippery goldfish, but also Clive’s reaction of “oh, that’s so disappointing!” marks the first time ever a 4 syllable word has been mentioned on a football pitch in the entire history of the sport, ever!

I must mention however that the boys won 9-4, with Viola’s Pier boss Steve Paul showing his strikers how to do it, with a glorious hat-trick (his second in succession), including a Beckham-esque lob from the halfway line!

LOADED FOR BEAR

 

Mr. Paul Saleh, esteemed manager of Nil Satis Nisi Optimum, has asked me to mention in print the FF£56 million he shelled out on 10 players in the auction, undoubtedly setting a never-to-be-equalled WSFFL record of laying out the ackers in one go. Obviously my referring to Nil Satis as “big spending” wasn’t enough, so there you go, I’ve mentioned it. Pity you bought a bunch of donkeys, Paul…

TRANSFER UPDATE

Now we’ve got a girly in the League, it’s only right and proper that she should go shopping. Rachel has signed 2 strikers for Prettier Than You, opting for a blend of youth and experience. The highly rated (and pretty, apparently) Craig Bellamy joins from Norwich for a cool £8.6 million (outbidding a £7.2m bid from Beef’s Trusted squad), and the well travelled Ashley Ward signs from Blackburn for £500K. Also, Rachel signed Stephen Glass from Newcastle for £500K as an impulse purchase. Well, you know what girls are like. See a bargain, then have to buy it straight away…

Ady’s also been at the sales; Aardvark sign up Italian defender Christian Panucci for £500K, in the face of surprisingly little interest from other WSFFL teams. Jammy git.

I attach yet another supplement for other transfer deals, as WSFFL managers continue to dip into and out of the pool with the regularity of Olympic swimmers.

THE FF£75,000 QUESTION

Here’s a nice one for you to get your teeth into. Three parts to this;

A current Premiership Club hold the following 2 distinctions;

·      They were the last team to win the League title wearing stripes, and

·      They were the last team to win the FA Cup, fielding a team containing no current or former internationals.

Which Club, and what years did they achieve both these distinctions?

One entry per person again, to me at e-mail david.2.rose@bt.com, or 01793 547614 (work) or 495101 (home), by lunchtime on Monday 4^th.

Despite most people thinking it was West Ham, last week’s answer is …. Manchester City. Oh yes. Apparently the young Luis Figo, then plying his trade at Sporting Lisbon, was offered to the then City manager Brian Horton for £1 million, back in the early 90’s. The deal didn’t happen, City went down through the divisions like a bad curry, and Luis eventually swapped Moss Side for Nou Camp. The rest, as they say, is hysterectomy.

No right entries, so we have a rollover, and the FF£75,000 goes towards this week’s question. So, get your thinking caps on, it’s worth FF£150,000 this week!

SHORTS

Now that in-form Boston Rock forward Alan Smith has dyed his hair blond, he looks even more like that nurse from “Casualty” that went to Australia. Mind, Rich still thinks Smudger looks like Donald Sutherland…good for Rachel for becoming the first female to participate in the cut-throat jungle that is WSFFL, but I think I should point out the inherent contradiction in calling her team “Prettier Than You” and fielding uglies like Roy Keane and Martin “Were-pig” Pringle…

LEAGUE RESULTS 2000/01

W/E of 26 August 2000

Claymore Athletic FC		5	v	2	Prettier than You
	T Henry (2) D Suker G Stuart R Edghill (og)					C Bellamy A Hughes	27,057
Elland Road Big Boys		0	v	1	Aardvark Abacus
						Silvinho	34,840
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI		3	v	0	Donkey Derby County
	D Beckham M Desailly S Given						31,626
Mega Buck Bandits		2	v	0	22 Legged Groove Machine
	P Vieira (2)						51,573
Real Muppets		0	v	0	Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
							21,830
Short Straw Rovers		0	v	2	Viola's Pier
						G Rowett D Wetherall	25,998
Willy Shakey		3	v	2	Trusted by Millions
	A Hunt (2) K Horlock					M Owen (2)	34,140
Woodchester Rovers		2	v	7	You know your Boston Rock FC
	D Cordone S Hyypia					A Smith F Jeffers M Pahars L Bowyer T El Khalej A Goma P Butler	38,025
York's Returning Glory		3	v	2	Pacer's Pacesetters
	G Speed I Nolan M Clarke					A Cole P Stamp	16,766

Team of the Week:  You know your Boston Rock FC