PRETTY VACANT
First point of order is to welcome the newest Manager to the WSFFL. Following years of being general whipping boy, Bags decided to pack up in order to concentrate on his ever expanding tum, so the Swindon Spitfires star striker, Rachel “Bob” Griffiths, has made WSFFL history by becoming the first female team manager. Naming her team “Prettier Than You” – another Boston Rock reference, I’m glad to see – she’s already added a dozen players to her squad, thereby being more active in a week than Bags was in 5 years.
Shame her efforts weren’t rewarded, as her first game ended in a 3-1 reverse to FA Cup holders Boston Rock FC, thanks to Smudger’s opening day salvo. Best of luck in the next game Bob; you’re playing the League leaders!
FIRST NIGHT NERVES EVERY ONE NIGHT STAND
After the opening day of the season, Claymore Athletic sit atop the early League table, thanks to their 6-3 whopping of Real Muppets. Clive-lad has avoided the gross expenditure (and therefore reliance) of other team managers on one single player, and has assembled a formidable looking team, particularly on the attacking front. My tip for top honours this season (Ah, the kiss of death. Thanks a bundle, Sheriff – Clive).
The first Team of the Week award, along with FF£100K, goes to Willy Shakey, with an inspired win at Hillside Avenue, home of big spending Aardvark Abacus. The Summer’s other big spenders, Nil Satis, come away from Elsham Way with a 1-0 win over Donkey Derby, thanks to “old boy” Darren Anderton’s penalty.
Other opening day winners were last year’s champions Mega Buck Bandits and challengers Woodchester and Trusted, along with Short Straw and Viola’s Pier. No draws on the opening day of the season. Hmmm.
YOU BETTER RUN, YOU BETTER TAKE COVER
Elland Road Big Boys boss Dean Watts ensured WSFFL teams face 2 lengthy away trips per season, by moving himself and his team to “a land down under”, down in Australia. Despite the 9 hour time difference, Dean is confident of active participation and a challenge for honours in his sophomore season. Good luck, cobber!
TEENAGE LOBOTOMIES
You Know Your Boston Rock FC seems to be becoming another Greta Garbo Home For Wayward Boys and Girls. As if Lee Bowyer’s assault charge, which may still see him sacked by Boston Rock, and Francis Jeffers’ boozy antics last season weren’t enough! Now Rio Ferdinand and Frank Lampard, along with Woodchester’s Keiron Dyer, have been caught in “compromising” positions with various young ladies on a boozy Greek holiday video. Surprisingly, Sheriff has taken no action against his most recent errant duo. Rumour has it that he’s been copied in on the video tape.
TRANSFER UPDATE
You should all know about the ridiculous amount of money spent at the AGM. If not, the previous transfer record was equalled early doors, by Short Straw acquiring Fabian Barthez for £10 million, then exceeded 3 times, as Real Muppets paid £11.5 million for Mark Viduka, Nil Satis signed Sergei Rebrov for £13 million and Aardvark Abacus set a new all-time high by shelling out £14.5 for Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink.
Transfers since the AGM and auction are on the attached spreadsheet, as there’s too many to mention in this humble newsletter!
The FF£75,000 QUESTION
I’ll try to do a bit of a teaser every week, and offer FF£75,000 to the first correct answer out of the hat, after the closing date. Easy one to start with;
Which current Premiership team very nearly signed a younger Luis Figo, who broke transfer records with his £37.5 million move to Real Madrid this summer, for the princely sum of £1 million?
Entries (one per person, so no standing in front of me reciting the Premiership Table and saying, “There, I’ve said it!!”) back to me at e-mail david.2.rose@bt.com, or 01793 547614 (work) or 495101 (home), by lunchtime on Tuesday 29th. Answer, plus hopefully a harder teaser, in the next Newsletter.
SHORTS
In case you didn’t get Clive’s e-mail, this midweek’s scheduled WSFF fixtures are off, with all fixtures being deferred by one week…any comments, feedback etc. on the Newsletter back to me via the above contact details…don’t you think Alex Ferguson sounds like Elmer Fudd? Listen to him the next time he says “Pwemia Wigg”...
LEAGUE RESULTS 2000/01
W/E of 19 August 2000
22 Legged Groove Machine 2 vs 5 Woodchester Rovers
Stanic (2) Strupar
Hyypia
Radebe
Kelly
Davidson
Aardvark Abacus 1 vs 2 Willy Shakey
Hasselbaink (pen) Hunt
Kanoute
Elland Road Big Boys 0 vs 3 Short Straw Rovers
Heskey
Traore
Wright
Prettier than You 1 vs 3 You know your Boston Rock FC R Johnsen Smith (2)
Robinson
Claymore Athletic FC 6 vs 3 Real Muppets
Di Canio Boksic (2)
Kachloul (2) Woodgate
Job
Stuart (pen)
Carr
Pacer's Pacesetters 1 vs 4 Trusted by Millions
Cole Eustace
Kinsella
Taggart
Rufus
York's Returning Glory 0 vs 1 Mega Buck Bandits
Henchoz
Donkey Derby County 0 vs 1 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
Anderton (pen)
Fred West Landscape Gdg 0 vs 3 Viola's Pier
Quinn
Ferdinand Rowett
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