2000/2001 - Newsletter 17 (27 January 2001)

I GOT A BRAND NEW ROSE IN TOWN

By now you’ll all be aware of Clive’s decision to quit as Co-ordinator of the Fantasy League, with immediate effect. I’m sure you’ll all agree that during the tenure of his role as co-ordinator, he’s done an undisputably brilliant job in managing the League and bringing us all together as friends and colleagues. Respect, Clive-lad.

So, with immediate effect, I’ve assumed the mighty task of interim league co-ordinator. Thanks to all who came to the Extraordinary General Meeting at my place on Monday this week, and also to those who couldn’t make it but expressed their views/ support to me during our phone and e-mail conversations. The following points were agreed on;

1. All managers, except Ryan Moore and Andy Ballard, were contacted, and all confirmed they still wished to participate in the league, with the exception of Claire Lucas. Ryan and Andy, please confirm to me ASAP your intent to continue participating, or otherwise, in the Fantasy League.

2. Init2winit is currently managerless, but will at the earliest opportunity be offered to Richard Smith, who has previously expressed an interest in joining the League. I understand Richard is out of town at the moment; I will speak to him on his return.

3. Bank Balances; Following the deletion of Clive’s Fantasy League database, and subsequent irretrievable loss of the current bank balance data for teams, 2 options were proposed on ways to proceed;

• 3.1. Start the bank balances again, with immediate effect, with everyone having the same balance, i.e. £5 million.
• 3.2. All managers to advise David Bevan as to what they believe their balances to be. Dave and Ady hav volunteered to conduct an auditing process, based on previous knowledge of bank balances, and financial activity throughout this season to date. Anyone who is unable to advise their estimated bank balance will be credited with a balance of £5 million by default.

I need views on which of the above options to take, ASAP, from Clive, Rachel, Julian, Steve Paul, Fred, Dean, Andy Ballard, Ryan and Jared. If I do not receive your views by this coming Monday, 5 February, the majority decision at that time will apply.

Please note that all transfer/ gate receipt activity is suspended until a decision on the above is taken, and will also be suspended throughout any such audit process.

4. The incontrovertible data source for team line-ups, transfers, substitution times etc. will change from The Daily Telegraph to www.soccernet.com. I am taking this decision for practical reasons, as I intend to work out the fixture results on Sunday evenings, at which point The Daily Telegraph will be unavailable. Also, www.soccernet.com is available to all managers, UK based or otherwise, and is also “free” to me, as I have a flat rate fee for internet use with AOL.

5. Peej has taken on responsibility for analysing and ruling on the recategorisation of players. The current “5 games to recategorisation” rule will continue to apply, with all players starting from “Year Zero” from this midweek’s fixtures. The Daily Telegraph will continue to be the incontrovertible data source for this particular activity, as Peej actually buys the damn thing.

6. Rich and Ady are joined on The WSFFL interim Executive Committee by Paul Saleh. Thanks to Paul for agreeing to serve on the Committee. The intention of the Committee is that it will operate as an autonomous decision-making body, separate to the league co-ordinator’s role, therefore I’m not on it. My role, if any, will be to gather and flag up issues for them to rule on, rather than to dictate how they operate.

7. Any decision regarding the name of the Fantasy League will be made at the AGM.

8. Following a request to this effect, the number of clean sheets cancelled off from each fixture will be reported with the actual fixture results. This will take the form of a bracketed number associated with the result, and will start from the next Newsletter.

9. As I’m a playing manager as well as league co-ordinator, it is only right and fair that I make my team known before the kick-off of any Fantasy League fixture, as all other managers do by reporting their team to me. With immediate effect, I am therefore logging my team with Dave Bevan, our unofficial “auditor”, before each fixture.

Any comments on the above back to me. Hopefully, though, apart from the above, the only thing which will change, as far as you guys are concerned, is the phone number/ e-mail address which you report your team into.

SURVIVAL OF THE PRETTIEST

Overshadowed somewhat by all this activity, the Fantasy FA Cup took place this weekend, with Prettier Than You winning Team Of The Week honours by knocking out in-form Fred West LGXI 3-2 in Chicago. Jesper Gronkjaer’s first goals for Fred’s team weren’t enough, as a late salvo from Dean Keily and Danny Higginbotham saw PTY through to the Quarter Finals. So well done Rachel.

Joining Rachel in the Quarters are Boston Rock, Willy Shakey (going for the double, of course) and Nil Satis. Real Muppets also advanced to the Quarter Final stage, with a bye over departing Init2winit. Short Straw Rovers and Claymore Athletic, the Groove Machine and Mega Bucks, and Trusted and Pacer’s all drew. They replay this weekend, doubling up in conjunction with their league fixtures.

ARE YOU SURE YOU’RE NOT RELATED TO THE STATUE OF LIBERTY?

Hey, just for fun, I’d like to talk about the highly humorous circumstances of Manchester United’s exit from the FA Cup. Picture the scene; Paulo Di Canio is clean though and onside on the angle of the Man U penalty box. As he advances on goal, Man U goalie Fabien Barthez just stands there with his arm in the air, trying to fool Di Canio into thinking he’s offside. Di Canio is having none of it, though, and shoots in from the angle of the 6 yard box past Barthez, who finally decides to dive - too little, too late. Arf arf!

Now, I know schadenfreude isn’t polite, but I can’t help it in this instance. Firstly, as a goalie, I can see that Barthez, the so called best goalie in the world (I think Toldo might justifiably have a thing or two to say about that), has always had the propensity for clown-like behaviour, and it’s finally caught him out. The other thing is that I was amazed to hear Man United had already booked a hotel in Cardiff for FA Cup Final weekend, in anticipation of playing in the final. Hey, not even I’m that arrogant. Well anyway, they can still use the hotel - to go watch the Cup Final!!

COS I’M UGLY WITH A CAPITAL “U”, AND I DON’T NEED A MIRROR TO SEE THAT IT’S TRUE

With all the recent upheaval in the Fantasy League, we mustn’t lose fact of the really important issue raised in the last Newsletter. Namely, I’m still looking for nominations to join Clarence Acuna in the current Premiership “Peter Beardsley XI”! So, do you have any players in your squad who look as if they fell out of the ugly tree, hitting every branch on the way down? Let me know!

TRANSFER NEWS

Given that current transfer activity is suspended with immediate effect, I will not be reporting on any recent transfer activity until the suspension is lifted.

The “cooling off” trial, introduced last week, will, however, be modified following input from the EGM. The new process is that any players recently dumped into the pool will be marked with an asterisk in the relevant Newsletter. These players will be subject to a sealed bid, in the same way that a new player is under the 48 hour rule, until 8 p.m. on the Monday following publication of that Newsletter. After such time, the highest bid wins the player. If there is only one bid, the player goes to the successful bidder for £500,000. If there are no bids, the player becomes available in the pool. Then it’s first to shout, guys.

Let’s see how we run with the aforementioned process for awhile. As before, any comments back to me please.

THE FF£75,000 QUESTION

Another question which combines footy with rock music, my two main obsessions.

Which popular Welsh rock music band sponsored Cardiff City’s shirts for a Welsh Cup game a couple of seasons ago?

One entry per person as usual please, to me on phone number 01793 495101 (home) or e-mail Swindonsheriff@aol.com, by close of play on Monday 5 February.

The shirtless American penalty-scorer was Brandi Chastain. No relation to Paul, Velvet Crush fans. There have since been allegations, surely apocryphal, that taking her shirt off and revealing the sports bra was all pre-planned, and part of the Nike sponsorship deal. I’m not sure that even Nike would stop so low as to pay to perpetuate an old cliché about women’s football – would they?

Anyway, thanks to Prov for the nice piccy of Brandi, left, which I felt compelled to include in this newsletter, for some strange reason. Probably the frightening six-pack.

Congrats to Prettier Than You, who won the roll of the dice at the EGM, calling odds and seeing it land on 3 (TOTW as well; good week for Rachel!). Comiserations to Prov who also got it right, of course.

SHORTS

One recent re-cat to report; Darren Williams (York’s Returning Glory) is back in defence.

FANTASY FA CUP 2000/01

W/E of 27 January 2001

First Round Proper

Claymore Athletic FC		2	Vs	2	Short Straw Rovers
	S Varga L Charvet					J Dodd (pen) E Heskey
Donkey Derby County		2	Vs	4	Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
	A Gunnlaugsson D Bergkamp					S Wiltord (2) R Dunne R Pires
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI		2	Vs	3	Prettier Than You
	J Gronkjaer (2)					K Davies D Kiely D Higginbotham
Mega Buck Bandits		1	Vs	1	22 Legged Groove Machine
	S Goater					N Barmby
Pacer's Pacesetters		0	Vs	0	Trusted by Millions
Real Muppets		*	Vs	*	Init2winit
Willy Shakey		2	Vs	0	Aardvark Abacus
	T Adams H Carbonari
You know your Boston Rock FC		2	Vs	0	York's Returning Glory
	M Fish J Craddock

* Init2winit scratched. Therefore, Real Muppets progress through to the next round.

Team of the Week:  Prettier Than You