GARDENING AT NIGHT
Congratulations to Fred West Landscape Gardening XI, winners of the first silverware of the season, the Paul Cartmell Memorial Trophy. Fred beat Viola’s Pier 1-0 in a tense and close game, a full report of which is attached.
I’M JUST TWO LEGS OF THE GROOVE MACHINE
The Groove Machine takes star billing this week, guys. A stunning 4-1 win at the home of seemingly invincible table toppers Willy Shakey not only lines the pockets of the Big Man, but moves the Groovers on manoeuvers up to 8th, more like their proper place in the scheme of things. I did mention to watch out for a season second-half surge from Dick’s mob, didn’t I?
Willy Shakey still top the table, but the Muppets move to within 1 point of them thanks to a 2-1 win at Short Straw Rovers. Fred has double reason to celebrate; besides the cup win, a 2-1 win over Pacer’s Pacesetters moves the Landscape Gardeners up to 4th. Pacers still prop up the table with only those 2 wins. Mega Bucks and Claymore both lose ground following a 1-1 stalemate, and Boston Rock finally win a game and (hopefully) halt the slump, as Aardvark Abacus leave £13 million new boy Robbie Keane seething on the bench as the Sky Heroes overrun them 2-0.
And in the Fantasy FA cup preliminaries, Trusted by Millions and Init2winit advance at the expense of Viola’s Pier and the Big Boys.
TOTW winners for the last couple of weeks were;
- 6/1: Trusted By Millions for knocking out last year’s losing (ha! I enjoyed writing that. Sorry Dean) FA Cup finalists Elland Road Big Boys in the prelims this year.
· 13/1: The 22 Legged Groove Machine for the aforementioned spoke in the Willy Shakey runaway express’ wheels.
Well done to both, who benefit by FF£100,000 for their sterling performances.
IT’S YER MONEY I’M AFTER BABY
Am I the only one that doesn’t see a problem in David Beckham asking for a new contract worth £160,000 per week? I’m feeling sorry for the poor dear, who’s after all currently struggling along on a mere £25,000 per week and is reduced to wearing old “Stations of the Crass” t-shirts he probably nicked off some old anarchist tramp down Afflecks Palace, I mean…
Seriously, though, it’s about time that the absolute crème de la crème of footballers were recognised for their unearthly talent with some seriously high moolah. Football is supposed to be the most popular sport in the world, yet the real stars’ wages have been lagging behind other sports for years. Check this lot out;
- Boston Red Sox’ star pitcher Pedro Martinez gets c. £150,000 per week for just chucking a ball headlong at an unsuspecting hitter (yes, I know the baseball season is 163 games long, Peej, but you can bet Martinez doesn’t play in all of them)
- Michael Schumacher gets £326,000 per week from the Ferrari Formula 1 team, and he only works once a fortnight!
- In 1997, Michael Jordan got paid a staggering $78.3 million (that’s about £1million per week) by the Chicago Bulls, just for being a lanky streak of piss who can bounce a ball around!
In comparison, the most highly paid footballer in the world, Luis Figo, scrapes a living on a paltry £90,000 per week. And it’s not as if Manchester United can’t afford the big bucks. We’re talking about a company which turns over £1billion per year, a globally known brand name with limitless merchandising potential, particularly in the Far East (a recent competition held in Thailand, offering 20 first prizes of VIP visits to Old Trafford, attracted ten million entries. Yes, that’s TEN MILLION), and I for one am getting heartily sick of them pleading austerity. Give the boy Beckham what he’s worth, I say. He’s a dick, but he’s potentially the best English footballer since Duncan Edwards.
But enough of my pontificating. What do you guys think? Players wages; obscene or too mean? Drop me a line and let me know!
TRANSFER NEWS
The big transfer news this week was Mega Buck Bandit’s acquisition from Barcelona, of Finland international (and arguably the most famous footballer that country has ever produced) Jari Litmanen. A number of Fantasy clubs were clamouring for Litmanen, but Mega Bucks £9.1 million bid won out at the finnish (ouch!).
Other transfers (and there are a few) are listed below and overleaf.
Player From To Fee
Dean Sturridge Init2winit Derby County £1,250,000
Gilles De Bilde Real Muppets Sheffield Wednesday Nil (Loan Expiry)
TRANSFER NEWS (continued)
Player From To Fee
David Healy York’s Returning Glory Preston North End £1,500,000
Jurgen Macho Init2winit Willy Shakey } Loan swop
Shaka Hislop Willy Shakey Init2winit } for 1 month
Christian Panucci Aardvark Abacus Internazionale Nil (Loan Expiry)
Dan Petrescu Aardvark Abacus Bradford City £1,750,000
Gary Breen Coventry City Trusted by Millions £500,000
Andy Morrison Manchester City Trusted by Millions £500,000
Heidar Helguson Trusted by Millions Watford £800,000
David Johnson Trusted By Millions Ipswich Town £4,250,000
David Johnson Ipswich Town YKY Boston Rock £500,000
David Johnson YKY Boston Rock Nottingham Forest £3,000,000
Damien Delaney Leicester City Trusted by Millions £500,000
Jacob Laursen Mega Buck Bandits Derby County £500,000
Tom Peeters Mega Buck Bandits Sunderland £600,000
Richard Jobson Mega Buck Bandits Manchester City £250,000
Jesper Gronkjaer Ajax Amsterdam Fred West LG XI £3,650,000
John Piercy Fred West LG XI Tottenham Hotspur £250,000
THE FF£75,000 QUESTION
This is a great question. One for the historians. Or maybe for the wild guessers.
In the (Old) Division 1 game between Leicester City and Aston Villa at Filbert Street on 20 March 1976, which ended in a 2-2 draw, what was notable about Villa defender Chris Nicholl’s performance?
One entry per person as usual please, to me on phone number 01793 495101 (home) or e-mail Swindonsheriff@aol.com, by close of play on Monday 22 January.
Sheffield Wednesday are called Wednesday as they were formed in 1867 from a cricket club, consisting of local traders who had their days off on Wednesdays. The football club was only allegedly formed to give them something to do in the winter. Hmmm.
Correct answers from the Yatebury swots, Clive and Claire, and also from Rachel. They all gave pretty accurate summaries, although Claire got the year badly wrong, but I’m not going to disqualify her for that. I’m not that pedantic. No, really, I’m not. No, I’m not. Really, I’m not. Honestly, I’m not. I’m not, why don’t you believe me, goddammit?!?!?
So out of the three coins tossed into the air, the one which landed differently to the other 2 was Rachel’s. So congrats to you Bob, Prettier Than You are £FF75,000 richer. And there’s a girly question coming up next week, fellas!
FANTASY FA CUP 2000/01
W/E of 6 January 2000
Preliminary Round
Trusted by Millions
|
1
|
Vs
|
0
|
Elland Road Big Boys
| |||
J Carragher
|
37,862
| ||||||
Init2winit
|
2
|
Vs
|
2
|
Viola's Pier
| |||
J Wright
L Radebe
|
G Rowett
E Gudjohnsen
|
32,386
| |||||
Team of the Week: Trusted by Millions
W/E of 13 January 2001
Preliminary Round Replay
Viola's Pier
|
0
|
Vs
|
3
|
Init2winit
| |||
J Scowcroft
K Dyer
L Radebe
| |||||||
LEAGUE RESULTS 2000/01
W/E of 13 January 2001 - Week 20a
Donkey Derby County
|
1
|
Vs
|
1
|
York's Returning Glory
| |||
F Wilnis
|
G Speed
| ||||||
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
|
2
|
Vs
|
1
|
Pacer's Pacesetters
| |||
W Brown
K Lundekvam
|
R Giggs
| ||||||
Init2winit
|
2
|
Vs
|
4
|
Elland Road Big Boys
| |||
J Scowcroft
K Dyer
|
E Bakke
D Murphy (2)
H Ricard (pen)
| ||||||
Mega Buck Bandits
|
1
|
Vs
|
1
|
Claymore Athletic FC
| |||
T Sheringham
|
S Varga
| ||||||
Short Straw Rovers
|
1
|
Vs
|
2
|
Real Muppets
| |||
M Stewart
|
A Boksic 2 (1 pen)
| ||||||
Willy Shakey
|
1
|
Vs
|
4
|
22 Legged Groove Machine
| |||
J Terry
|
E Thome
U Ehiogu (2)
M Gray
| ||||||
You know your Boston Rock FC
|
2
|
Vs
|
0
|
Aardvark Abacus
| |||
L Bowyer
S Amoebi
| |||||||
Team of the Week: 22 Legged Groove Machine
The PAUL CARTMELL MEMORIAL CUP 2000/01
FINAL
W/E of 13 January 2001
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 1
M Silvestre (90)
Vs
Viola's Pier 0
At the Millennium Stadium, Cardiff, Attendance 78,592
Fred West:
S Given
W Brown K Lundekvam M Desailly M Silvestre
D Beckham P Vieira D Wise F Ljungberg
J Piercy A Armstrong
Subs: E De Goey
A Ferrer
C Karembeu
B Carbone
Viola's Pier:
E Gudjohnsen N Quinn
S Johnson D Powell J Magilton D Windass
N Winterburn D Irwin G Rowett W Bridge
M Hedman
Subs: R Van Der Gouw
S Staunton
G McAllister
L Ferdinand
This was the first Fantasy Cup Final played at the Millennium Stadium, Cardiff. Fred West Landscape Gardening XI, finally won some silverware, in their 3rd Final. Having previously lost to Claymore Athletic FC and Trusted by Millions in the 1997 and 98 Fantasy FA Cup Finals, on both occasions by 2-1.
In a very closely fought game, dominated by defences, it was a very late goal by Fred West's French International, Mickael Silvestre, that settled this tense affair. With Beckham and Co. winning the midfield battle for supremacy. Viola's defence stood firm, right to the 90th minute, when the game was "sorted" by the six million pound man.
WSFFL League Table
As at 15 January 2001
Team P W D L F A Diff Pts
1 Willy Shakey 21 15 1 5 43 24 19 46
2 Real Muppets 21 14 3 4 46 31 15 45
3 Mega Buck Bandits 21 12 5 4 44 28 16 41
4 Fred West Landscape 21 13 0 8 36 30 6 39
Gardening XI
5 Claymore Athletic FC 21 11 3 7 44 33 11 36
6 Trusted by Millions 21 12 0 9 46 43 3 36
7 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 21 10 5 6 35 19 16 35
8 22 Legged Groove Machine 21 11 1 9 54 36 18 34
9 Init2winit 21 11 1 9 39 40 -1 34
10 Elland Road Big Boys 21 10 2 9 34 26 8 32
11 Short Straw Rovers 21 9 2 10 37 32 5 29
12 You know your Boston 21 9 2 10 32 41 -9 29
Rock FC
13 Aardvark Abacus 21 8 4 9 42 35 7 28
14 Donkey Derby County 21 8 3 10 20 31 -11 27
15 Viola's Pier 21 7 1 13 27 35 -8 22
16 Prettier Than You 21 5 2 14 24 51 -27 17
17 York's Returning Glory 21 3 3 15 15 46 -31 12
18 Pacer's Pacesetters 21 2 0 19 17 54 -37 6
Totals 378 170 38 170 635 635 0 548
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