WORDS FAIL, BUILDINGS TUMBLE, THE GROUND OPENS WIDE
Congratulations to Aardvark Abacus, who are the 2001/2002 WSFFL League Champions, winning an unprecedented 3rd League Title with one game to go. Ady’s 3-1 win over nearest rivals Real Muppets, thanks to goals from Lauren, Harte and Gallas, gives the Abacus both the Performance of the Week £100,000 for a superb performance in a pressure situation, but more crucially an unassailable 7 point lead at the top. And once again I have to say it’s thoroughly deserved – the title has again, fittingly, gone to the team who’s won most games, scored most goals and conceded least goals. Furthermore, it’s gone to one of the most involved and committed managers in the league, who takes all factors into account before naming his team each week – the ritual answering machine message at 5 to 3, commencing with those immortal words “Sheriff! Aardvark Abacus team news…” is now a part of the weekend routine here at Gooch Street. Many Congratulations to Ady on his League triumph, but every silver lining has a cloud; in this instance there’s no double this time…
WE DON’T NEED NO EDU-CATION
Congratulations to San Dimas High School, the 2001/2001 WSFFL FA Cup Winners! SDHS, featuring Brazilian star Edu (hence the bad lyric pun) beat Aardvark Abacus 1-0 in the final, with a 28th minute Trevor Sinclair goal proving decisive. A full report on the final is enclosed in this Newsletter, so read on…
WE COULD STILL END UP WITH THE GREAT BIG FISHES
With the title now settled, focus switches to the bottom of the table and the race to avoid being the wooden spoonists. The bottom 4 teams are still locked within one point of each other, as all 4 lost this weekend. Short Straw suffered the heaviest defeat, 5-0 at in-form Elland Road, but Nil Satis were also tonked 4-1 by Fred and remain favourites for last place, with a goal difference of minus 40 (ouch!). York’s recent good run ended at the hands of resurgent Trusted, and Prettier Than You’s 3-1 defeat of Viola’s Pier, with Darius Vassell notching twice, keeps young Claudio right in the mire.
Elsewhere, San Dimas look favourites for a 3rd place finish, as they beat Claymore Athletic 2-0, Kylie are finishing their sophomore season strongly with a 2-0 win over Mega Bucks, and Boston Rock and the Groove Machine swapped places in the table, as the “Sky Heroes” beat the Groovers 3-1 in a meaningless mid-table squabble. Bah!
Oh, and by the way, a couple of bits of news to catch up on; Prettier Than You won the catch-up game on Cup Final day, beating Short Straw Rovers 2-1 with England’s Darius Vassell again on target, and the April Manager of the Month was Dean Watts of Elland Road Big Boys, Dean’s Antipodean Animals having the only 100% record during the month. So £250,000 is winging its way “down under” as we speak. Well done Deano.
CALLING THIS A HIT!
This rather fantastic e-mail from Jared Prothero, former Donkey Derby County boss (remember them?), reached my in-box and I thought I’d share it with you all;
In case you are not aware, the wasted talent that is Stan Collymore has now, for some reason, got the job presenting Radio Five Live's football phone in “606”. Anyway, last night just as the show was nearing completion, and with the tunes for the news being played, Stan welcomes the final caller on air.....
Stan; “Last caller, from Milton Keynes, what's your point?”
Caller; “Hello Stan. I just wanted to say that I think that Sven should take you over to the World Cup.”
Stan (clearly flattered and not seeing the sucker punch coming); “Oh yes, why?”
Caller; “Well, you’re an expert on beating Swedes aren’t you!!!!!?”
Stan; “Get him off!”
And straight into the news - classic live Radio!
TRANSFER NEWS
Everton’s new 16 year old striking wunderkind is signed, rather inevitably, by Claymore Athletic FC, Steve Watson returns to his spiritual home in Boston, and Elland Road win the race (oh yes, there was one) to sign Chelsea’s young goalscoring prodigy…
Player From To Fee
Matthias Svensson (A) Claymore Athletic FC Charlton Athletic FC £250,000
Wayne Rooney (A) Everton Claymore Athletic FC £500,000
Steve Brown (D) Elland Road Big Boys Charlton Athletic FC £250,000
Carlton Cole (A) Chelsea Elland Road Big Boys £500,000
Matthew Etherington (M) YKY Boston Rock FC Tottenham Hotspur £250,000
Steve Watson (A) Everton YKY Boston Rock FC £500,000
Don’t forget that the players highlighted are subject to the pool “cooling off” period. Any managers interested in buying them can bid until 8 p.m. on Monday 6 May 2002, after which time they go into the pool proper and are readily available.
THE FF£100,000 QUESTION
The last one of the year…
In June 1982 Wolverhampton Wanderers cancelled the registration of their former star Peter Knowles, who’d left the club in 1969 at the age of 23 to do what?
One entry per person as usual please, to meby close of play on Saturday 4 May 2002. And because it’s the last one of the season, I’m putting £200,000 up for grabs. Go on, have a go!
The player who has played the most Premiership games is Gary Speed. Up to and including the Newcastle-Fulham game on 8 April, he’d played in 348 Premiership games for Leeds, Everton and Newcastle. Next up is Nutty Nigel Winterburn with 330, Tim Sherwood (327), Gary McAllister (324), then, surprisingly, Peter Atherton with 318!!!
Dean and Clive both chipped in with the correct answer, and the Big Boy won the coin toss again, so the hundred grand goes “down under” to Elland Road Big Boys. Good week for Deano then! Wrong guesses came from Peej (Rob Lee, 29th) and MC (Paul Ince, 37th).
SHORTS
D’oh! Boston Rock’s Alan Smith has been recategorised into midfield. Why “D’oh!”, I hear you ask? Well, he’s shite when he plays there!…
The 2001/02 WSFFL FA CUP FINAL
W/E of 20 April 2002
Aardvark Abacus 0-1 San Dimas High School
(2) Trevor Sinclair 28
At the Millennium Stadium, Cardiff, Attendance 72,500
Aardvark Abacus Team:
Nigel Martyn
Ian Harte, Lauren Bisan, Markus Babbel, Bernt Haas
Nolberto Solano, Jon Aarne Riise, Vladimir Smicer, Sylvain Legwinski
Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink, Nicolas Anelka
Subs: Neil Sullivan, Laurent Blanc (on 1 min for Babbel), Sam Dalla Bonna (on 82 mins for Smicer), Eidur Gudjonsson (on 65 mins for Anelka)
San Dimas High School Team:
Thomas Sorensen
Sylvain Distin, John Terry, Tony Adams, Franck Queudrue (sent off 88 mins)
Trevor Sinclair, Anders Svensson, Jermaine Jenas, Edu
Michael Ricketts, Dennis Bergkamp
Subs: Steve Harper, Jlloyd Samuel, Zatyiah Knight (on 60 mins for Edu), Pablo Gonzalez Counago (on 75 mins for Bergkamp)
San Dimas High School won the 2001/2002 WSFFL FA Cup Final, beating favourites Aardvark Abacus 1-0. In a tightly contested final, it was Trevor Sinclair who provided a match-winning performance, capped with the decisive goal, and rightly won the Man of the Match award. San Dimas’ win also prevented Ady’s march towards a “Double Double”, and ensured they wouldn’t remember this season as their “Sheffield Wednesday” season, i.e. reaching 2 finals in one season – and losing them both.
Aardvark substitute Laurent Blanc was pressed into action almost immediately, as Markus Babbel suffered a recurrence of Guillan-Barre syndrome and had to come off. This rattled the Aardvark defence, as San Dimas were on the offensive, Bergkamp leading the charge with a close shot. Trevor Sinclair, out to impress the watching Sven-Goran Eriksson (well, he does go to all the important games, you know!) was a constant thorn in the Aardvark defense, and finally broke their resistance with a low shot into the far corner from a Queudrue cross, which Martyn could only deflect in.
This should have been the cue for an Aardvark onslaught, however their vaunted front-line was firing blanks today, particularly Anelka, who “had a mare” and was substituted midway through the second half. Bergkamp hit a post for San Dimas with a delicious curling effort before being subbed himself, and the only blemish on San Dimas’ subsequent cruise to victory was Franck Queudrue’s late dismissal for a late tackle from behind on Legwinski. But that didn’t dampen Peej’s day, Congrats to you, chap!
WSFFL RESULTS; Week 28 (continued), W/E 20/4/02
Short Straw Rovers 1-2 Prettier Than You
Hitzlsperger (1) Aaron Hughes
Vassell 51,360
Week 29, W/E 27 April 2002
Kylie Bumcheeks 2-0 Mega Buck Bandits
Shearer (3)
Beattie 35,255
Elland Road Big Boys 5-0 Short Straw Rovers
Lua-Lua
Cudicini
Gardner
Dixon
Powell 27,351
Prettier Than You 3-1 Viola’s Pier
Kilbane (1) Brevett
Vassell 2 34,976
San Dimas High School 2-0 Claymore Athletic FC
Adams
Terry 36,017
22 Legged Groove Machine 1-3 You Know Your Boston Rock FC
Poyet (1) Bowyer
Defoe
Rio Ferdinand 30,705
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 4-1 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
Van Nistelrooy (1) Wiltord
Jansen
Ljungberg
Desailly 28,686
Real Muppets 1-3 Aardvark Abacus
Robert (1) Gallas
Harte
Lauren 52,127
York’s Returning Glory 0-2 Trusted By Millions
(1) Euell
Cole 28,443
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