STRANGE THINGS ARE AFOOT AT THE CIRCLE K
I got a strange e-mail message from Peej. I have to wonder whether he’s hit his mid-life crisis a little early, but either way, he’s decided to change his team name! He writes; “Do you know something, I feel like changing my team name as well. It's time to move on from Willy Shakey, in future I'd like to be referred to as... “San Dimas High School”. It must be the new season excitement getting to me!
Well, I can only say, “Bogus, dude!”
ROCK ROCK, ROCK N’ ROLL HIGH SCHOOL
And on the opening day of the season, the newly christened Peej educative collective have gotten off to a flyer, beating poor Prettier Than You 8-0. A real team effort this, with 7 different scorers for the High School and defender Anthony Barness also coming off the bench to join in the goal fest. So the former Willy Shakey top the provisional table, closely followed by the 5 other opening day winners.
Claymore Athletic sit in 2nd, after a convincing 4-1 win at Viola’s Pier, thanks to 2 from midfielder Per Frandsen. Short Straw are 3rd, with a brace from Kevin Nolan and an Alan Wright goal seeing to Mega Buck Bandits at Westmorland Road. At Conan Doyle Walk, now the new home of the 22 Legged Groove Machine, the Groover’s new £10 million man Luis Saha notching 2 goals in a 4-3 win against much fancied Fred West, Fred’s £20 million man Ruud Van Nistelrooy getting 2 in reply. Boston Rock beat their “bogey team” Nil Satis 4-2 with Bowyer and Smith amongst the scorers, and the new look Kylie Bumcheeks win their tricky opener against Elland Road Big Boys, with Ravanelli scoring the only goal.
Last years champions and runners up could only draw their opening games, Trusted By Millions and Real Muppets being held by a resurgent Aardvark Abacus and a reconstructing York’s returning Glory respectively.
So, the first £100,000 performance of the week award goes to San Dimas High School for their flying start. Well done Peej.
I’M NOT THE MAN YOU THINK I AM
Of many odd footy stories in the Summer, surely one of the strangest had to be that of Milton Nunez. Remember him? The short Honduran international who Sunderland signed during last close season for £1.6 million from Uruguayan giants Nacional of Montivideo, after being spotted by then Sunderland scout Andy King (even he!) playing for Honduras in the Americas Gold Cup for Honduras?
Well, after a singularly unsuccessful season for Sunderland (I think he got on the pitch for 41 minutes in the whole season!) it transpired that it wasn’t Nacional of Montivideo who they bought him from after all, but their 3rd Division neighbours Universitao! In other words, they’d been sold a pup. And a crap one at that, with a dodgy hairdo with the word “Tyson” shaved into it! Claiming they’d been led up the garden path by his agent, Sunderland let him go on a free and tried to claim back their transfer layout. A bit more checking before signing him wouldn’t have gone amiss, boys; still that’s what you get when you take Andy King’s word for anything!
TRANSFER NEWS
Amongst a slew of transfers (including certain managers getting down to size for the new season), it seems that Walter Smith isn’t the only one who’s lost patience with the retiring Ghanaian…
Player From To Fee
Alex Nyarko Nil Satis Nisi Optimum Pool £2,800,000
Lomano Tresor Lua Lua Pool Elland Road Big Boys £500,000
Simon Royce Pool York’s Returning Glory £500,000
Michael Chopra Kylie Bumcheeks Pool £250,000
Matthew Jones Kylie Bumcheeks Pool £250,000
Bernard Diomede Pool Short Straw Rovers £500,000
Winston Bogarde Pool Fred West LG XI £500,000
Gabrielle Ambrosetti Fred West LG XI Pool £2,125,000
Anthony Barness Pool San Dimas High School £500,000
Titi Camara San Dimas High School Pool £950,000
Matthias Svensson Aardvark Abacus Nil Satis Nisi Optimum Loan
Chris Perry Aardvark Abacus Nil Satis Nisi Optimum Loan
Stefan Schwarz Aardvark Abacus Nil Satis Nisi Optimum Loan
Jody Morris Aardvark Abacus Viola’s Pier £1,500,000*
Graham Barratt Aardvark Abacus Pool £250,000
Mark Burchill Aardvark Abacus Released £250,000
Gary Breen Trusted By Millions Released £250,000
John Eustace Trusted By Millions Released £250,000
Ian Taylor Trusted By Millions Pool £1,100,000
Mark Kinsella Trusted By Millions Pool £1,050,000
* Transfer fee to be paid in instalments as agreed between Aardvark and Viola’s.
Don’t forget that the players highlighted are subject to the pool “cooling off” period. Any managers interested in buying them can bid until 8 p.m. on Monday 27 August, after which time they go into the pool proper and are readily available.
THE FF£75,000 QUESTION
With Reading Festival this coming weekend, it’s fitting that we should have a question combining footy and music. And this one is a total corker…
Which world-famous musician died from a football related injury?
You know the form, people. One entry per person as usual please, to me by close of play on Sunday 26 August.
The Dutch twins who both had children of the same age, and lived in the same house which was divided in two was unsurprisingly not the De Boer brothers, if the squabble after the unsuccessful penalty shootout in the World Cup 1998 semi-final was anything to go by. No, these were the Van Der Kerkhof twins, Willy and Rene, who both starred in the early 70’s “total football” Dutch team.
Well done to Peej, Ady and the Big Man for getting this one right. The cash goes to Aardvark Abacus after a lucky dip. Lucky for Ady, that is.
SHORTS
Boston Rock’s Rigobert Song has come back from his Summers hols with a bleached blond beard, it sems. This makes the Cameroon international look like something of a cross between Bigfoot and The Old Man Of the Sea… and the Belle of the Ugly Bug Ball, Real Muppet’s Luke Chadwick, looks even uglier now he’s shaved his head. Yuck! … I’ll try not to do too many looky-likes this season, but I have to mention this one; Aardvark’s Giovanni Van Bronckhorst and 70’s TV Martial Arts icon “Monkey”. It’s frightening!… For anyone looking for bedtime reading, I’d recommend “Full Time: The Secret Life of Tony Cascarino”. This book is a totally refreshing slant on the usual footy autobiography. For example, it was pleasantly surprising to read that our Tone thought he was a total donkey as well!
WSFFL RESULTS; Week1, W/E 18 August 2001
Kylie Bumcheeks 1-0 Elland Road Big Boys
Ravanelli 36,059
Prettier Than You 0-8 San Dimas High School
Sorensen
Adams
Terry
Ziege
Ricketts
Bergkamp 2
Barness 40,124
22 Legged Groove Machine 4-3 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
Taricco Beckham
Gray Van Nistelrooy 2
Saha 2 47,370
Real Muppets 0-0 York’s Returning Glory
(1) 39,715
Aardvark Abacus 2-2 Trusted By Millions
Harte (2) Owen 2
Haas 67,534
You Know Your Boston Rock FC 4-2 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
Ferdinand (1) Pires
Bunjevcevic Ferguson
Bowyer
Smith 31,557
Viola’s Pier 1-4 Claymore Athletic FC
Zenden (1) Weir
Frandsen 2
Henry 28,236
Mega Buck Bandits 0-3 Short Straw Rovers
(1) A Wright
Nolan 2 43,935
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