ALL THE MOORE, ALL THE MOORE REAL
This week’s Fantasy League action saw Real Muppets regain top spot from Willy Shakey. Willy indeed looked decidedly shakey in their scrappy 1-1 draw with Donkey Derby, a late Tony Adams goal gaining a point for the former league leaders, whilst a 90th minute Viduka goal cruelly robbed an under-strength Boston Rock side (Sheriff resting some key players in advance of the Cup Final) of a share of the spoils against the Muppets.
Boston Rock manager Sheriff missed the game due to a scouting mission, oddly enough to Boston, and after witnessing a couple of blistering performances on said trip, expect to see the name of Aaron Perrigno, currently turning out for The Sheila Divine and as devastating a frontman as I’ve ever seen, as a transfer target for Boston Rock very soon (if he ever forgives me for bastardising one of his lyrics for this article title!).
Elsewhere, Trusted By Millions warm up for the Cup Final with an easy 3-0 win over Fred. Don’t leave it on the training ground, Beef, I want a challenge! Mega Buck and Elland Road also maintain their challenge with good away wins against tricky opposition, but games are running out on both these title aspirants.
Claymore Athletic buck their recent poor form with an extraordinary 7-3 win at Short Straw, all the more extraordinary as 5 Claymore goals were scored by Everton players!!! Marcus Stewart’s splendid hat-trick was a mere consolation for Andrew’s team. This performance would normally have given Clive Performance Of The Week, but for resurgent York’s Returning Glory’s 3-0 win over the in-form Groove Machine, thanks to Robbie Blake and an Andy Todd double. This result lifts Yorks to 16th, and earns Julian the £75,000 POTW award, so well done to him.
TELL ME EASTER’S ON FRIDAY
I just want to give you good good people some advance notice about the forthcoming Fantasy League fixtures. There aren’t any Fantasy Fixtures next week, w/e 7 April, as the actual FA Cup semi finals are on, so the next fixtures are over Easter weekend. Fantasy Week 29, and the Fantasy Cup final between myself and Beef, will be played over Friday 13 and Saturday 14 April. That’s right, Friday and Saturday. Apparently the Liverpool-Leeds and Bradford-Charlton fixtures are on Good Friday, with kick-offs of 11.30 a.m. and 4 p.m. respectively.
So any team changes involving players of any of the teams playing on Good Friday must be with me before these games kick off, or team details for those players will automatically revert to your previous line-ups, meaning if they were in your team last week, they stay in, and if they were out they stay out! The other 8 games are on Saturday as per usual.
Fantasy Week 30 will be played over Monday 16 and Tuesday 17 April. There are 7 fixtures on Easter Monday, with the other 3, i.e. Spurs-Chelsea, Leeds-Bradford and Charlton-Aston Villa, on Tuesday. I’m led to believe all the Monday and Tuesday fixtures are evening games, although you might want to check the press nearer the time to be sure. I’ll certainly be doing so. The next newsletter will be published midweek following Easter, and will have the results from Weeks 29 and 30, and a Cup Final report.
There you go. Let it not be said your co-ordinator doesn’t keep you informed…
TRANSFER NEWS
Deadline day passed with only one major signing involving a Premiership player, Prettier Than You’s Phil Gilchrist joining “yow Bagguys” West Brom. Couple of promising youngsters snapped up by enterprising managers, though…
Player From To Fee
Paul Rachubka Manchester United York’s Returning Glory £500,000
Phil Gilchrist Prettier Than You West Bromwich Albion £500,000
Jes Hogh Kylie Bumcheeks Retired NIL
Nabil Abidallah Ipswich Town YKY Boston Rock FC £500,000
Anthony Gardner Tottenham Hotspur Mega Buck Bandits £500,000
Dopey Looking Puppy Dept.: I was/am surprised that no one has come in yet for Sunderland’s new on-loan defensive acquisition Patrice Carteron. With the sale of Mega Bucks’ Chris Makin to Ipswich Town, Carteron looks assured of a starting full-back berth for Sunderland (who, let’s not forget, are challenging for a Champions League slot) during his loan stay. A Fantasy manager willing to take a chance should at the very least be rewarded with a smattering of clean sheets for the rest of the season. So, any takers?
THE FF£75,000 QUESTION
Who, up until Christmas 2000, was the “cleanest” player in the FA Carling Premiership this season, having committed a foul on average only once every 6 hours and 15 minutes he’d been on the field of play?
I’ll give you a clue; it’s a midfielder from a promoted team. So that rules out Roy Keane then! One entry per person as usual please, to me by close of play on Sunday 15 April.
6 current WSFFL teams retain their original names. They are; Aardvark Abacus (Ady), Claymore Athletic FC (Clive), Donkey Derby County (Jared), Fred West Landscape Gardening XI (Fred, funnily enough), Mega Buck Bandits (Dave Bevan) and Nil Satis Nisi Optimum (Paul Saleh).
Of the other 4 "Original" WSFFL managers, their team names have changed as follows;
- Real Muppets were Moorey's Muppets before Ryan went all impersonal on us.
· Willy Shakey started off as Willy Shakey XI, but Peej lost the XI somewhere.
- York's Returning Glory started as Ex Boro, then became Current Boro before Julian settled on their current name.
- You Know Your Boston Rock FC were originally Athletico Sheriff 2, then Athletico Sheriff IV and Athletico Sheriff V, before a life-changing conversation with Evan Dando prompted me to change my team name to its' current one.
Correct guesses from Clive and Peej, with Clive correctly calling “Heads” on a telephone coin toss, and winning the £75,000 for Claymore Athletic, which should be some consolation after narrowly missing out on the POTW award. Comiserations to Peej, but I should think you’d get this right after disgracing yourself last week, Mister Former League Co-ordinator Clive Lad!
I also got wrong guesses from Rachel, MC and Ady, but thanks for playing, peeps.
SHORTS
The recat monster swipes for a double whammy; Donkey Derby’s Gary Doherty is now a defender and Claymore’s Luke Young is now a midfielder… League leaders Real Muppets’ boss Ryan now has a new e-mail address, so please direct all love letters, bouquets and brickbats, and irrelevant circulation nonsense to. And yes, the 00 are zeros, but Ryan isn’t, of course ;-)…
LEAGUE RESULTS 2000/01
W/E 31 March 2001: Week 28
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 1-2 Aardvark Abacus
Pires (2) Babbel
Harte 26,044
Short Straw Rovers 3-7 Claymore Athletic FC
Stewart 3 (1 pen) Gerrard
McGreal
Weir
Unsworth 2 (1 pen)
Alexandersson
Henry 20,160
Willy Shakey 1-1 Donkey Derby County
Adams Zola 38,121
Prettier than You 0-2 Elland Road Big Boys
(1) Powell
Fowler 34,247
Trusted by Millions 3-0 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
Breen (1)
Rufus
Gerrard 48,285
Kylie Bumcheeks 1-2 Mega Buck Bandits
Hyypia (1) Hadji
Goater 34,933
Viola's Pier 2-2 Pacer's Pacesetters
Windass (1) Le Saux
Gudjonsson Hartson 19,654
You know your Boston Rock FC 1-2 Real Muppets
Fish (2) Merson
Viduka 44,806
York's Returning Glory 3-0 22 Legged Groove Machine
Todd 2 (1)
Blake 20,043
Performance of the Week: York’s Returning Glory
WSFFL League Table
As at 2 April 2001
Team P W D L F A Diff Pts
1 Real Muppets 28 18 5 5 61 41 20 59
2 Willy Shakey 28 18 3 7 52 31 21 57
3 Trusted by Millions 28 17 1 10 65 47 18 52
4 Mega Buck Bandits 28 15 7 6 55 40 15 52
5 Elland Road Big Boys 28 16 2 10 48 30 18 50
6 Fred West Landscape 28 15 2 11 45 41 4 47
Gardening XI
7 22 Legged Groove Machine 28 14 3 11 67 45 22 45
8 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 28 13 5 10 46 34 12 44
9 Aardvark Abacus 28 13 4 11 63 45 18 43
10 Claymore Athletic FC 28 12 5 11 54 49 5 41
11 Short Straw Rovers 28 12 3 13 47 46 1 39
12 Kylie Bumcheeks 28 12 3 13 46 54 -8 39
13 You know your Boston 28 11 4 13 42 55 -13 37
Rock FC
14 Donkey Derby County 28 11 4 13 27 40 -13 37
15 Viola's Pier 28 11 3 14 39 43 -4 36
16 York's Returning Glory 28 5 5 18 21 50 -29 20
17 Prettier Than You 28 5 3 20 26 66 -40 18
18 Pacer's Pacesetters 28 2 2 24 22 69 -47 8
Totals 504 220 64 220 826 826 0 724
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