THE DARKEST HOLE IS AT THE END OF THE ROAD
The Fantasy FA Cup final will be contested between current Cup holders You Know Your Boston Rock FC, and Trusted By Millions. This weekend’s semi-finals saw the end of the road for Prettier Than You’s fine giant-killing cup run, goals from Tessem and Smith seeing the holders through into the final. In the other semi, Beef’s team ran riot over league leaders Willy Shakey with an astonishing 6-1 scoreline, which alone earned Beef the Team Of The Week £100,000 award. So well done Beef… and me!
IF MY BALANCE IS GOOD, CAN I RIDE THAT SEESAW WITH YOU
Overshadowed a little by the cup excitement, this week’s league action saw the Championship momentum seesaw back towards Real Muppets. Ryan’s team gained a fine 3-1 win at Aardvark Abacus, and are now headed by Willy Shakey only by goal difference, following Fred West’s 2-1 defeat of the league leaders. TOTW winners Trusted By Millions shoot into 3rd slot thanks to a 4-0 defeat over early season favourites Claymore Athletic, a result which leaves Clive’s lot beached in 12th.
Elsewhere, York’s Returning Glory gained a rare win, their new boy Gavin McCann hitting the target in a 2-0 win over Prettier Than You. Fabien Wilnis gave Donkey Derby a fine hard-fought win over high-flying Elland Road Big Boys. And poor old Rich Smith still can’t get a win for Kylie Bumcheeks. This week Viola’s Pier whopped the new boy 4-0, with highly rated youngster Wayne Bridge (subject of a failed midweek bid from Boston Rock) and sub Les Ferdinand being amongst Steve’s scorers.
I FEEL MORE OF A MAN WHEN I GET WITH THE HERD
I Hate This Bit Dept.: I hereby wish to issue a public apology to Beef. Not for suggesting in last weeks Newsletter that he might be a pushover in the FA Cup semis (we’ll sort that out in the final, might I foolhardily suggest) but for missing a clean sheet he should’ve been credited with in his last game, against Aardvark Abacus. Beef correctly pointed out that his sub defender, Herman Hreidarsson, came into play in the 46th minute, when Dominic Matteo was withdrawn, and kept a clean until his own substitution. So Trusted should’ve beaten Aardvark 4-0 and not just 3-0. Muy apologies, and please note that the records have been duly amended. Now after this very public genuflection, I’m going to chew on Blu-Tack for half an hour to get this nasty taste out of my mouth…
YOU ARE A WASTE OF A NAME, A WASTE OF TIME AND A WASTE OF SPACE
I’d like to share with y’all a letter which appeared in this month’ “When Saturday Comes”, which totally amazed me. Paul Alcock, as you’ll all recall, is the ref who was pushed over by Claymore Athletic’s Paulo Di Canio, after sending Di Canio off during his Sheffield Wednesday days.
“On January 13, Paul Alcock officiated at the Northampton Town v Bury match. During the obligatory photo just prior to kick-off, home mascot Clarence the Dragon made as if to push Alcock, a la Di Canio, but actually made no contact. Alcock’s reaction was to spit out “Oh very fucking funny! I haven’t heard that one for at least ten fucking minutes”. This in front of the two young mascots who immediately told their parents as they came off that the referee had sworn at Clarence.
Unbelievably, Alcock actually reported the “incident” to the FA with the result that the club has been fined and Clarence handed a severe reprimand and cautioned as to his future conduct. Just what planet does this prissy little pipsqueak come from? Talk about double standards!”
This coming after referee Steve Bennett sent Wycombe’s Steve Brown off for whipping his shirt off after Essandoh’s historic last-gasp winner against Leicester, to reveal his 20 month old son Maxwell’s name on his vest (his son had been through 20 operations since birth to correct a stomach disorder, and was at a football game for the first time ever). Legendary Liverpool manager Bill Shankly once said about referees; “they know the rules but they don't know the game”. Sage words indeed.
TRANSFER NEWS
Boston Rock has been busy this week, harking back to those transfer-crazy days of 1995/6. They’ve also been in the money this week, but it’s all above board, I assure you. I bought David Hopkin from the pool (where he was readily available for anyone, including me, to buy) on Wednesday 14 March, one day before he was sold to Crystal Palace. I took this action following the sale of Alain Goma (freeing up a space in my squad) and acting upon rumours flying around that Hopkin might be on his way out of Valley Parade. What am I on? I’m on the ball!
Full list of recent transfers are overleaf.
Player From To Fee
Hayden Foxe West Ham United Real Muppets £2,100,000
Alain Goma YKY Boston Rock FC Fulham £4,000,000
David Hopkin Bradford City YKY Boston Rock FC £500,000
David Hopkin YKY Boston Rock FC Crystal Palace £1,500,000
Danny Mills YKY Boston Rock FC York’s Returning Glory £1,500,000
Gavin McCann YKY Boston Rock FC York’s Returning Glory £500,000
Paul Scholes York’s Returning Glory YKY Boston Rock FC £3,000,000
Wayne Quinn Kylie Bumcheeks YKY Boston Rock FC £2,000,000
THE FF£75,000 QUESTION
Before I ask this week's question, here's the answer to last week's one. There are 10 "Original" WSFFL managers still participating. They are Clive, Paul Saleh, Dave and Ady Bevan, Peej, Ryan, Jared, Julian, Fred and myself.
The other current managers joined as follows;
- The Big Man joined for 1995/96, taking over Pete Ash's team Faggot Free FC. Two teams dropped out at the end of the inaugural season (1994/95), Pete’s team and Jeff Yates' Oxford Reunited, which resulted in the league dropping from 19 to its' current (and more sensible) 18 teams.
- Andy Ballard joined for 1996/97, taking over Ben Ford's inaugural championship winning team Bassett Allsorts.
- Beef joined for 1997/98, taking over Andrew Mercer's original team Bold River United (ex Rivermill Bassett).
- Andrew rejoined for 1998/99 after a one season absence, taking over Snowy's team Supersonic Rovers, after a futile attempt to get his old team back from Beef. Snowy’s team had finished bottom by some distance the year before, so Andrew certainly drew the short straw there, hence his current team's name!
- Dean joined for 1999/2000, taking over Carl Hughes' team Anfield Schoolboys.
- Steve also joined for 1999/2000, taking over Mike Dixon's team Sporting Chance (ex Sporting Zachstar/ Zachstar Incorporated)
- Rachel joined for 2000/2001, taking over John Ball's team Bags Boys.
- And Rich Smith has just recently joined us, taking over Claire Lucas' team Init2winit, Claire herself having taken on Paul Cartmell's team Woodchester Rovers (ex Zanfar Rovers) a few months previously.
The rollover £150,000 goes to Mega Buck Bandits. Both MC and brother Ady guessed correctly, but big brother won the coin toss, so well done Dave. Mega Bucks – licence to print money, I reckon! Wrong guesses were also received from Clive – yes, Clive the former league co-ord, Ryan, Peej and Rachel.
So, in connection with the above, here's this week's question;
How many current WSFFL teams still have their original names?
A clue; it's going to be 10 or less! One entry per person as usual please, to me on phone number or e-mail Swindonsheriff@aol.com, by close of play on Sunday 25 March.
SHORTS
Whoops Part 2; In my haste to get the last Newsletter out on the streets, as it were, I also forgot to include that little bracketed (1), which indicated a clean sheet from each side was cancelled out of the Willy Shakey vs Real Muppets score. Please accept my Sunblest apologies guys… Another re-cat from Peej – Elland Road Big Boy Radostin Kisishev is now a midfielder. Why couldn’t you have done this one last week, Peej? I’d only have been beaten 4-1, not 5-1!… Am I going mad, or does Fred West midfielder Freddy Ljungberg look like 1997 Formula 1 champion Jacques Villeneuve, now that his hair’s (sort of) grown back?…
LEAGUE RESULTS 2000/01
W/E 17 March 2001: Week 27
Elland Road Big Boys 0-1 Donkey Derby County
(1) Wilnis 36,111
22 Legged Groove Machine 2-0 Pacer's Pacesetters
Solskjaer
Iversen 26,046
Aardvark Abacus 1-3 Real Muppets
Silvinho (2) Viduka
Boksic 2 51,751
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 3-0 Short Straw Rovers
Alpay (1)
Luzhny
Rebrov 35,606
Claymore Athletic FC 0-4 Trusted by Millions
(2) Hutchinson 2
Owen
Phillips 43,362
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 2-1 Willy Shakey
Silvestre Reuser
Lundekvam 67,516
Viola's Pier 4-0 Kylie Bumcheeks
Bridge
Irwin
Gudjonsson
Ferdinand 20,043
Prettier than You 0-2 York's Returning Glory
(1) McCann
Blake 19,117
Mega Buck Bandits 2-2 You know your Boston Rock FC
P Neville (1) Tessem
Goater Smith 34,981
Fantasy FA Cup Semi Finals
Willy Shakey 1-6 Trusted by Millions
Reuser Richards
Hreidarsson
Hutchinson 2
Owen
Phillips 36,304
You know your Boston Rock FC 2-0 Prettier than You
Tessem (1)
Smith 26,048
Performance of the Week: Trusted By Millions
The 2001 WSFFL FA Cup Final
To be played on WE 14 April 2001
Trusted By Millions v You Know Your Boston Rock FC
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