ALL TOGETHER NOW, IN NO-MAN’S LAND
The Fantasy League Social Evening will take place on Monday 21st January at the Savoy in Swindon town centre, start time 7.30 for 8 p.m. If it’s too noisy and busy there (which it shouldn’t be on a Monday) we’ll adjourn next door to The Riflemans. I want to keep it social and informal, whilst covering the ground I want to, so we’ll work off the very loose agenda of ideas I printed in last week’s newsletter.
Hope to see as many of you as possible there!
I CAN’T BE SEEN, JUST A THIN CLEAN LAYER OF MR. SHEEN
After this weekend’s fixtures, Claymore Athletic FC maintain their lead at the top following a 4-0 demolition of Mega Buck Bandits at Westmorland Road. During a weekend where clean sheets were at a premium, Clive’s 4 cleans, thanks to Everton (3!) and West Ham, served him very well indeed. Trusted By Millions move into second, after a comfortable 3-1 win over Boston Rock FC, and San Dimas continue their poor 2002 form, losing 2-1 to Kylie Bumcheeks.
The league shock this week was the 4-0 thrashing of the recently-impregnable Real Muppets defence, by Fred West Landscape Gardening. Fred therefore continues his good recent run and trousers the POTW £100,000 this week into the bargain. Well done Fred.
Elsewhere, Aardvark Abacus move into contention at the top once more, with a 2-1 win over bottom club Nil Satis, a late goal from Jon Arne Riise settling things for the Abacus. The Groove Machine and Prettier Than You both win to consolidate in mid-table, and Short Straw and Violas fight out a dour 1-1 draw near the bottom.
BECAUSE THE KNIGHT BELONGS TO US
The Fantasy FA Cup First Round replays produced 2 definite results; Claymore march on, beating an unlucky Fred West 5-4 thanks to those aforementioned clean sheets, and Aardvark Abacus double up with a 2-1 win over Elland Road. The cup holders, Boston Rock FC, stay alive, thanks to a lucky Zatyiah Knight goal levelling matters against San Dimas. The second replay is this weekend, at which point I’ll also organise the draw for the Quarter Finals. Watch this space!
I WANT AN ALIEN FOR CHRISTMAS, GIVE ME AN ALIEN THIS YEAR
Well, I’ve not had any suggestions from any managers as to why football team’s badges always appear in the grass just before Sky’s coverage of their “live” games, then mysteriously disappear just before kick-off. Peej however thought that I seriously believed in the undersoil heating/ osmosis theory. Peej, please!!!!!
No, here’s what I really believe; footy-loving aliens have visited all the Premiership grounds and dropped some weird space dye on the grass, in the shape of the club badges. The reason why it fades before kick-off has something to do with the ratio of linament oil in the atmosphere; when those oiled-up Premiership nonces run onto the pitch before kick-off, the atmosphere rockets above the safety margin for the alien dye, which then evaporates into a fine adrenalin-like mist all over the pitch. This also explains why Premiership games also start off at a cracking pace, then fade into a dull second-half torpor. Unless they’re Man United, of course, who are fed the alien dye neat in their half-time tea by Universal Overlord Ferguson (you doubt he’s an alien? Just listen to him talking one time! That’s not any Earth language I know!).
So, any other weird theories out there? I’ll give FF£100,000 if any make me chuckle!
TRANSFER NEWS
Player (Pos’n) From To Fee
Akinori Nishizawa (A) San Dimas High School Cerezo Osaka (loan return) £0
Szilard Nemeth (A) 22 Legged Groove Machine Middlesbrough £850,000
Noel Whelan (A) Middlesbrough 22 Legged Groove Machine £500,000
Francois Grenet (M) Trusted By Millions Derby County £250,000
Tim Sherwood (M) Tottenham Hotspur Trusted By Millions £1,000,000
(G = goalkeeper, D = defender, M = midfielder, A = attacker. Thanks to Beef for this suggestion)
Don’t forget that the players highlighted are subject to the pool “cooling off” period. Any managers interested in buying them can bid until 8 p.m. on Monday 21 January 2002, after which time they go into the pool proper and are readily available.
THE FF£100,000 QUESTION
Here’s one requiring some research. Good luck.
Los Angeles had the Aztecs, Tampa Bay had the Rowdies, and New York had the Cosmos. What was Boston’s 1970’s NASL football team called?
One entry per person as usual please, to me by close of play on Saturday 19 January 2002.
The scorer of the 9,999th Premiership goal was, of course, Paul Scholes, who notched Manchester United’s fifth in their 5-0 win over Derby County on 12 December 2001 in the 89th minute, and thereby cleared the way for the first goalscorer the following Saturday to be the big 10,000 hero. Arise, Sir Les…
I got correct guesses from Dean, Dave (well, Mega Buck’s assistant boss Ceri), Clive and Beef, and Trusted By Millions came out of the hat first, so £100,000 goes to our bovine colleague. Well done Mr. Perfitt.
Oh yeh, by the way, any managers who want to suggest questions, which I can use in future newsletters, are very welcome to do so. A couple of things to bear in mind if you do want to suggest something;
· Try and avoid the “look up the answer in Rothmans” kind of question, such as who won the FA Cup in 1872, and
· Only send me the question and not the answer, so I can have a go!
SHORTS
Derby’s Paul Boertien (currently in the pool) has been recategorised into midfield… Otters in the typewriter department; of course Australia is a growth area for football, despite what you might think. So I’m glad to report that a few more than the reported 2,009 crowd went to watch Elland Road play Aardvark in the Cup last weekend; it was really 22,009… Mega Buck’s assistant boss Ceri is apparently getting more involved in the team selection over at Westmorland Road, it seems, according to this e-mail I got from her; “By the way I think I should get Assistant Manager of the week for last week having convinced Dave to play Stubbs instead of Finnan, and to put Neville P (who scored a memorable own goal that weekend - Sheriff) in only as a substitute”. Well, she’s got one thing right – who’d trust a Neville anyway?…
WSFFL RESULTS; Week 18, W/E 12 January 2002
Prettier Than You 2-1 Elland Road Big Boys
Vassell James
Bellamy 31,794
San Dimas High School 1-2 Kylie Bumcheeks
Ricketts Dailly
Hignett 52,130
Real Muppets 0-4 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
Ljungberg
Beckham
Van Nistelrooy
Jansen 38,132
York’s Returning Glory 1-3 22 Legged Groove Machine
Tugay Poyet
Solskjaer
Saha 28,881
You Know Your Boston Rock FC 1-3 Trusted By Millions
Knight Blomqvist
Cole
Angel 34,698
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 1-2 Aardvark Abacus
Dyer Riise
Gudjonsson 30,736
Mega Buck Bandits 0-4 Claymore Athletic FC
(1) Weir
Schemmel
Unsworth
Di Canio 31,858
Short Straw Rovers 1-1 Viola’s Pier
Nolan Winterburn 25,077
Performance of the week: Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
WSFFL FA Cup First Round Replays;
W/E 12 January 2002
Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 4-5 Claymore Athletic FC
Ljungberg Simonsen
Beckham Weir
Van Nistelrooy Unsworth
Jansen Di Canio
Schemmel 23,365
San Dimas High School 1-1 You Know Your Boston Rock FC
Ricketts Knight 23,891
Aardvark Abacus 2-1 Elland Road Big Boys
Riise James
Gudjonsson 18,975
No comments:
Post a Comment