NOTHING’S WHAT IT SEEMS, WE ARE CONFUSION
Yes, I know I’ve used that lyric headline before, but I could think of no other way to describe the problems and shenanigans in sending out last week’s newsletter. After 4 attempts we finally made it, thanks to some judicious advice from our resident computer boffin, Mr. Moore, although for the life of me I have no idea why my e-mail hyperlink fudged things up so badly last week when it had had no impact on any of my previous missives! Still, luddite that I am, what do I know?
Anyway, hopefully things should be OK this time as I’ve removed the hyperlink from this and all future newsletters. Sorry about all that guys. Oh by the way, nice try Julian, but I’m not voiding last week’s results just because they were late being published!
LET’S LYNCH THE LANDLORD, MAN
In the inaugural Rosebery Bowl Derby, tenant beat landlord with The 22 Legged Groove Machine overcoming Aardvark Abacus 2-1. In front of a full house and in a highly charged atmosphere, the game saw Melchiot put the Groovers in an early lead, only for Ady’s top scorer Hasselbaink to equalise, then, following a number of tactical changes by each manager, Gus Poyet powered a late header in to win the game for The Big Man. This performance also merited the POTW £100,000, so well done Rich. I understand the gloating could be heard for streets around – I’m glad I went out last night then!
At the top, the 3 leading sides all won to put 4-points of daylight between themselves and Aardvark. San Dimas kept up their free-scoring rampage with a 5-0 demolition of Short Straw Rovers to stay top, with a Ricketts strike the icing on the cake for Peej. Claymore stay second, with a 3-1 win over Elland Road Big Boys dumping Dean to the bottom of the table, and putting one goal difference between himself and Trusted, who nevertheless beat Fred West 2-1 to keep their hopes of a second successive title alive.
At the bottom, York’s Returning Glory gain their first league win of the season, a 3-0 win over Nil Satis coming courtesy of goals from Speed, Radzinski and Mills. And Viola’s Pier once again win 1-0 thanks to a Les Ferdinand goal, this time over the inconsistent Kylie Bumcheeks, to stretch their recent unbeaten run to 4 games. Elsewhere, Real Muppets beat Boston Rock 1-0 thanks to an Alen Boksic goal, and Mega Buck’s Dave Bevan celebrated his recent engagement with a 3-0 win over Prettier Than You, this result lifting his team above Rachel into 9th position.
JUST DON’T LET ME F*CK UP, WILL YOU
It appears I’ve been short-changing Short Straw Rovers this season; as my MS Works Spreadsheet facility doesn’t allow me to navigate around the Excel spreadsheets he sends me his team on, I’ve not been able to identify which players should be his subs, so I’ve assumed that the last on the list of 5 defenders is his defensive sub and so on.
I’ve had a trawl through all of his team’s fixtures this season, and amazingly the only result affected by my error was last week’s fixture, in which Short Straw beat The 22 Legged Groove Machine 2-0. This should actually have been a 3-0 win to Short Straw, so I’ve amended the records and league table accordingly.
Andrew and I have discussed this separately and he’s going to ensure his subs are more clearly marked in future, however I wish to publicly apologise to him for this oversight through the newsletter and will make sure things like this don’t occur in future.
TRANSFER NEWS
Player From To Fee
Luke Moore YKY Boston Rock FC Pool £250,000
Lee Marshall Leicester City YKY Boston Rock FC £500,000
Paul Kitson West Ham United Claymore Athletic FC £500,000
Danny Dichio York’s Returning Glory West Bromwich Albion £1,250,000
Don’t forget that the players highlighted are subject to the pool “cooling off” period. Any managers interested in buying them can bid until 8 p.m. on Monday 10 December, after which time they go into the pool proper and are readily available.
THE FF£75,000 QUESTION
A bit of lateral thinking required here.
Who was enrolled as Barcelona Football Club’s member No. 108,000, after a visit to the Nou Camp in 1982?
A clue – he certainly used to play football, although that’s not what he’s best known for! One entry per person as usual please, to me by close of play on Saturday 8 December.
Adidas ran their newspaper ad campaign “After tonight, [This Fixture] will be remembered for what one player did with his feet” before England’s 1998 World Cup game with Argentina, and the player in question was none other than David Beckham. The ad was meant to be a comment on the fact that the previous World Cup clash between the 2 countries, in Mexico 1986, was primarily remembered for
Maradona’s “Hand of God” goal. However it proved horribly prophetic, as Beckham’s petulant kick at Argentina’s Diego Simeone got him sent off and arguably cost England the game.
Still, the boy’s turned out alright now, hasn’t he?
The winner of the rollover was Rachel, who was first name out of the velvet bag. So congrats to her, and Prettier Than You are £150,000 better off as a result. Commiserations to MC, Peej and Beef, who also got this one right.
SHORTS
This week’s recats; Elland Road’s Paul Konchesky and Real Muppets’ Paul Merson have both been recategorised as midfielders. About time eh, Ryan?… Peej has reported in a humorous headline, “Flitcroft Hit by Groin Blow”, and a quote from Kevin Keegan regarding the departure of Willie Donachie – “I'll always have a soft spot for Willie!”… Andrew pointed out an amazing and very funny thing to me; the 5 teams to beat Manchester United in the Premiership this season are Bolton, Liverpool, Arsenal, Newcastle and Chelsea, and their initials spell B-L-A-N-C! Spooky!…
WSFFL RESULTS; Week 12, W/E 1 December 2001
Viola’s Pier 1-0 Kylie Bumcheeks
Ferdinand (1) 24,666
Claymore Athletic FC 3-1 Elland Road Big Boys
Henry (1) Akinbiyi
Weir
Unsworth 33,289
Mega Buck Bandits 3-0 Prettier Than You
Henchoz (1)
Stubbs
Sheringham 28,138
Short Straw Rovers 0-5 San Dimas High School
Matt Elliott
Terry
Sorensen
Queudrue
Ricketts 30,711
Aardvark Abacus 1-2 22 Legged Groove Machine
Hasselbaink (4) Melchiot
Poyet 67,544
Trusted By Millions 2-1 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI
Owen (2) Ljungberg
Phillips 47,437
You Know Your Boston Rock FC 0-1 Real Muppets
(2) Boksic 32,971
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 0-3 York’s Returning Glory
Speed
Radzinski
Mills 24,151
Performance of the week: 22 Legged Groove Machine
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