YOU GOTTA KEEP ‘EM SEPARATED

…but you can’t, right now! Yup, that’s right, the 2000/2001 Fantasy FA Cup Final replay between Trusted By Millions and You Know Your Boston Rock FC ended in another draw, 1-1 this time. I dunno, this is good for my bank balance, with all the gate receipts and all, but bad on the nerves! Anyway, another full match report is attached to this newsletter.

YOU WENT FROM HERE, FROM CLOSER TO NEAR

After the 2 full league fixtures played this weekend, it could not be closer at the top, with 5 teams separated by a mere 2 points, with 3 weekends to go. Willy Shakey once again take over at the top, by virtue of a scrappy win against basement boys Pacers, but a win’s a win at this stage of the season, right Peej? They lead Trusted, Elland Road and former table toppers Real Muppets who are all one point behind, with Mega Buck Bandits a further point back. Everything went pear-shaped for Ryan this weekend, beaten by in-form York’s Returning Glory, and also by title rivals Mega Buck. By contrast, the real gainers this weekend were Elland Road Big Boys, with 2 big wins over Mega Buck and Nil Satis catapulting them into contention. Manwhile, 4 points over this double-up weekend keeps Beef’s Trusted By Millions on course for a possible double. Could it possibly get more dramatic???

At the other end, wins aplenty for York’s Returning Glory (the form team in the league at the moment) and Prettier Than You. Shame they’re too far adrift to improve their league placings.

The 2 £100,000 POTW awards, up for grabs this weekend, went to Kylie Bumcheeks, for a famous first victory for Rich Smith against title contender Willy Shakey, and to Prettier Than You, for putting paid for Fred’s outside title aspirations with a fine 2-1 win.

Finally, to spice things up in the mid-table, I understand two Executive Committee members have a £20 side-bet as to which of them will finish higher in the league this year. To add spice to the situation, the 2 managers in question (names withheld to protect their innocence - hah!) met in league action at the weekend, with honours going to the shorter manager of the two, putting him in pole position to win the £20 bet from the other manager. And let’s face it (still naming no names) the other manager could probably do with losing a few pounds…!

THERE ARE TWO THINGS…

Mega Buck Bandits Phil Neville is the cover star of this month’s “Times Football Handbook”, under the headline of “All Rounder”. Apparently the younger Neville used to be a dab hand at Cricket during his whipper-snapper years, representing Lancashire and even going so far as to captain the England Under-15 team.

But hang on a minute, I thought. In order to be considered an “all-rounder”, you’ve got to excel at more than one sport, haven’t you? So I ask without a trace of irony or sarcasm, (and perhaps this should have been a £75,000 Question) does anybody know apart from cricket, what other sport is Phil Neville good at, then?!?

SOMETHING WEARS MY FAVORITE SHIRT

You’ve probably all heard this story, but I thought it was funny and warranted repeating. At the end of their recent 2-1 win at Leicester, Manchester City and Willy Shakey’s Alf Inge Haaland got so incensed at one particular Manc fan giving the team stick all throughout the game, that he ran up to him and chucked his shirt at him, in an apparent gesture to get the guy to show some pride in the shirt. However, the whistle Alfie had heard wasn’t, in fact, the final whistle of the game, so he rather sheepishly had to get his shirt back off the fan, who by this time had turned tail and headed off towards the exit! Talk about putting your shirt on a donkey…

TRANSFER NEWS

Gordon Strachan will be pleased to know that at least Beef has faith in him…

Player From To Fee

Jay Bothroyd Coventry City Trusted By Millions £500,000

Damien Delaney Trusted By Millions Leicester City £250,000

As usual, the players highlighted (all one of him this week, I know) are subject to the pool “cooling off” period. Any managers interested in buying them can bid until 8 p.m. on Monday 30 April, after which time they go into the pool proper and are readily available.

THE FF£75,000 QUESTION

This is a fun one and worth a guess. Cast your minds back to those lazy hazy crazy days of last Summer, and one particularly crazy game of football…

About which Euro 2000 game did an Irish journalist comment that “it delivered everything except full-frontal nudity”?

One entry per person as usual please, to me by close of play on Sunday 29 April.

The tagged player was none other than Prettier Than You’s (and Ipswich Town’s) Gary Croft. He came out of prison following a custodial sentence for drink driving, and played for Ipswich reserves against Gillingham on January 12th 2000 (Result 1-0 to Ipswich), this being his first match with an electronic tag.

However his first match as part of the first team was January 15th 2000 against Swindon (which Ipswich won 3-0). He came on with his e-tag after 71mins to chants from Swindon fans telling him to “come in a taxi” because of his drink driving charges! Incidentally, when Croft was previously on the books of Boston Rock FC, he was a long-time transfer target of bad boy Bevan’s team Aardvark Abacus. It all falls into place now, doesn’t it?

Thanks by the way to Ipswich Town fan (and possible future WSFFL managerial colleague, if any of you lot out there get tired of this silly game) Thom Monk for the ITFC-related research.

Correct guesses this time from Peej, Rachel (who should know, as Crofty plays for her team) and Dean. An incorrect but logical guess from Steve, who thought it might be Duncan Ferguson. Can’t say I blame you, Steve.

So the rollover £150,000 goes to Willy Shakey, for being the odd one out in the 3-coin toss. Well done Peej, and comiserations to Rachel and Dean.

SHORTS

More recats; Real Muppet’s star midfielder Paul Merson has been recategorised as a striker, and Prettier Than You’s star striker Craig Bellamy has been recategorised as a midfielder. Couple of happy fantasy managers there, I don’t think…

THE 2000/01 WSFFL FA CUP FINAL REPLAY

At The Millennium stadium, Cardiff, W/E 21 April 2001

TRUSTED BY MILLIONS 1

Hreidarsson 90

VS

YOU KNOW YOUR BOSTON ROCK FC 1

Ferdinand 47

Attendance: 73,500; 3 clean sheets cancelled off each team

Trusted By Millions: Schwarzer; Barry, Carragher, Hreidarsson, Taggart (capt.); Eustace, Gerrard, Hutchinson, Taylor; Owen, Phillips

Subs: Bosnich, Matteo, Kinsella, Bothroyd

Boston Rock FC: Royce; Craddock, Delaney, Ferdinand (capt.), Fish; Bowyer, Kewell, Lampard, Scholes; Ameobi, Pahars

Subs: Flowers, Song, Tessem, Smith

The 2000/2001 WSFFL FA Cup replay between Trusted By Millions and You Know Your Boston Rock FC ended in another stalemate, after another last-minute equaliser by Beef’s spirited Trusted team, following another hard-fought game at the Millennium Stadium in Cardiff.

Trusted manager Beef shuffled his defensive pack slightly from the first game, making Gerry Taggart his captain for the game, and bringing Steve Gerrard into the starting line-up from the bench, whilst Boston Rock boss Sheriff brought Harry Kewell into a potent looking midfield, recalling Marian Pahars into the starting line-up.

The opening exchanges set the tone for the first half, as the defences held sway, and Trusted’s frequent incursions into the Boston Rock half, led by their twin strikeforce of Kevin Phillips and Michael Owen, crumbled on the rock that was Rio Ferdinand. A titanic performance from the England centre-back was capped early in the second half with a superb looping header from a Harry Kewell cross, deceiving Schwarzer in the Trusted goal.

Trusted continued to push forward leaving themselves susceptible on the break, and it was one such Boston Rock break which earned a penalty, Taggart sending Scholes tumbling. Scholes himself took the penalty kick, only to blast horribly wide.

This galvanised Trusted’s efforts, and they were duly rewarded when Hermann Hreidarsson blasted home a deserved last-gasp equaliser, to force the game into another replay.

So, it’s back to Cardiff again next week for the next instalment. This one’s really too close to call right now…

LEAGUE RESULTS 2000/01

League Week Number: 30, W/E 21 April 2001

Donkey Derby County 2-1 Aardvark Abacus

Ince (2) Keane

Halle 24,612

You know your Boston Rock FC 1-1 Short Straw Rovers

Ferdinand (3) Heskey 26,041

Kylie Bumcheeks 2-1 Willy Shakey

Wright Reuser

Davidson 48,277

Trusted by Millions 3-1 Viola's Pier

Hreidarsson (1) McAllister

Barry

Matteo 38,029

Real Muppets 1-3 York's Returning Glory

Boksic (1) O’Brien

Mills

Todd 43,547

Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 2-1 Claymore Athletic FC

Wiltord (1) Henry

Korsten 34,983

Mega Buck Bandits 2-3 Elland Road Big Boys

Sheringham (2) Carteron

Makin Grimandi

Fowler 67,535

Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 1-0 22 Legged Groove Machine

Lundekvam (1) 29,336

Pacer's Pacesetters 0-3 Prettier Than You

Ilic

Ward 2 18,564

Performance of the Week: Kylie Bumcheeks

LEAGUE RESULTS 2000/01

League Week Number: 31, W/E 21 April 2001

Mega Buck Bandits 3-1 Real Muppets

Sheringham (1) Boksic

Makin

Gordon 67,535

Donkey Derby County 1-1 You know your Boston Rock FC

Ince (3) Ferdinand 29,336

Pacer's Pacesetters 0-1 Willy Shakey

Reuser 34,983

Claymore Athletic FC 1-1 Kylie Bumcheeks

Henry (1) Wright 24,612

Elland Road Big Boys 4-2 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum

Carteron (1) Wiltord

Grimandi Korsten

Fowler

Konchesky 48,277

Prettier Than You 2-1 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI

Ward 2 (1) Lundekvam 26,041

22 Legged Groove Machine 0-2 Aardvark Abacus

(1) Keane

Harte 38,029

Short Straw Rovers 1-1 Trusted by Millions

Heskey (3) Hreidarsson 43,547

York's Returning Glory 3-1 Viola's Pier

O’Brien (1) McAllister