THIS KEEPER’S NEVER LETTING GO
The weekend’s FA Cup Quarter Final fixtures saw You Know Your Boston Rock FC defy their indifferent league form by continuing their stout defence of the FA Cup. “The Sky Heroes” turfed the resurgent 22 Legged Groove Machine out of the Cup thanks in the main to a double salvo from new England squad man (and future captain – I’ll get my £20 off you yet, Big Man!) Frank Lampard.
Elsewhere, Prettier Than You continued their giant-killing Cup run into the semis, with a 2-0 win over Short Straw Rovers, gaining revenge for their recent league defeat in the process. Pretty Boy Craig Bellamy’s goal was the highlight of Rachel’s fine victory. Willy Shakey marched towards a possible “double” by ending Paul Saleh’s dreams of cup glory with a 2-1 win. And in the battle of the big guns, Real Muppets toppled out at the hands of Trusted By Millions, Bramble and Taggart netting for Beef’s boys.
Team Of The Week was a toughie. I really wanted to give the award to myself, but in the end Prettier Than You scooped the cash for knocking out Short Straw, who are 7 places above them in the league. So well done Rachel, you’re now £100,000 richer.
I HATE MYSELF AND I WANT TO DIE
Interesting suggestion from our Antipo-Dean correspondent. See what you think:
- “The newsletter is a great read, with your “honest” reviews of the games played, but how about a “Managers Report”, like SKY do after games. At first I thought after every game, but to make it more “newsletter friendly” how about once a month. Just maybe a light hearted review from managers on how there (sic) teams are performing.....players they don’t like, trust, love, would have there (sic) babies for scoring the winner. What do you think ???”
So, any managers out there who are willing to give a brutally honest assessment of their own team’s recent form or season to date? I’ll start it off; IMHO, Boston Rock have been underachieving this season. With my talented youngsters, I should be challenging for top honours, but injury (Kewell, Jeffers) and poor form (Smith, Pahars, Bowyer, my defence) have hindered me this year. Hopefully now young Jeffers is back I should start hitting some goals, and with good young players coming through (Robinson, Thelwell, Parker, Carrick, Defoe), I’ve got high hopes for winning the title in, ooh, 2005!
TRANSFER NEWS
The following players joined the following teams under the extended 48 hour period;
Player From To Fee
Andrei Kanchelskis Manchester City Real Muppets £500,000
Sandro Zamperini West Ham United Real Muppets £500,000
Egil Ostenstad Manchester City Trusted by Millions £500,000
Gregory Vignal Liverpool YKY Boston Rock FC £500,000
In addition, the following transfers took place;
Player From To Fee
Youl Mawene Derby County York’s Returning Glory £500,000
Andy Todd Charlton Athletic York’s Returning Glory £500,000
Chris Marsden Southampton York’s Returning Glory £500,000
Dan Petrescu Southampton Elland Road Big Boys £500,000
Carl Tiler Elland Road Big Boys Charlton Athletic £250,000
Cedric Roussel Viola’s Pier Wolverhampton Wanderers £1,530,000
Peter Beagrie Viola’s Pier Wigan Athletic Free
Roberto “Boom Prettier Than You Leicester City £250,000
Boom” Mancini
Mark Wilson Manchester United Trusted by Millions £500,000
Gavin Strachan Real Muppets Coventry City £250,000
Mohamed Konjic Trusted by Millions Coventry City £250,000
Andy Morrison Trusted by Millions Manchester City £250,000
Ben Roberts Prettier Than You Charlton Athletic £250,000
Sasa Ilic Charlton Athletic Prettier Than You £500,000
Simon Davies Tottenham Hotspur Prettier Than You £500,000
Darren Fletcher YKY Boston Rock FC Prettier Than You £350,000
Jeff Whitley Prettier Than You Manchester City £250,000
Alan Maybury Leeds United Real Muppets £500,000
David Hopkin Real Muppets Bradford City £1,150,000
Don’t forget that the players highlighted are subject to the pool “cooling off” period. Any managers interested in buying them can bid until 8 p.m. on Monday 5 March, after which time they go into the pool proper and are readily available.
Mentioning that Dan Petrescu was still in the pool in the last Newsletter seemed to work for him; 2 managers were straight in for him that evening, with Dean winning the race by 17 minutes from Peej. So anyway, I’ll try with another couple of players – hey, this can be like that bit on “Pet Rescue”(pardon the pun, Dan) when they advertise some smelly stupid looking dog who’s been in Battersea for 8 years, then get a million phone calls from prospective owners within seconds of him being on telly!
So anyway, the following players are readily available in the pool now; Daniel Cordone (Newcastle forward) and Bernard Diomede (Liverpool midfielder). Any takers?
THE FF£75,000 QUESTION
Another nice easy one this week.
Which international forward of the 80s and 90s was signed by his first Football League club from non-league Crokenhill, in exchange for 22 tracksuits?
A clue; he’s recently published his autobiography. That’ll narrow it down, I don’t think. One entry per person as usual please, to me on phone number 01793 495101 (home) or e-mail Swindonsheriff@aol.com, by close of play on Sunday 4 March.
The nicknamed players in the last Newsletter question were as follows; Pearl was Pele, Panther was Eusebio, and Octopus was Lev Yashin, IMHO the greatest footballer of all time. Yes I know I’m nailing my colours to the Goalkeeper’s mast here, but then I would, wouldn’t I?
Only one right answer, from the Peej-meister (who offered his own nickname – “The Technicolor Clown”), so Willy Shakey gets the £75,000. Well done Peej. I did get an amusingly incorrect guess from MC (“Octopus” – Carlton Palmer?) but he went all eloquent on us, saying
“I don't know if the above is right or not but it reminds me of the glory days at the County Ground when Swindon fans were able to sing “We all agree, Downsborough is better than Yashin, Rogers is better than Eusebio, and Oxford are in for a thrashing !”
That also reminded me of last weekend and the Brighton fans’ ace song “When the ball hits the goal, it’s not Shearer or Cole, it's Zamora!” ”
Yeh right. Thanks MC, but no cash for Mega Buck, sorry. I’m sure Dean Martin would appreciate the Brighton fans’ sentiment, though.
SHORTS
Real Muppets manager Ryan Moore would like to make it known that Darren Huckerby, his mercurial Manchester City striker, is up for sale. Any offers to Ryan another close-to-home looky-like; Aardvark Abacus’ Vladimir Smicer and old TTP adversary (and scorer at Deepdale for the Kylies) Benny Warr. Anyone else see it?… and on the subject of Liverpool, how could I miss Willy Shakey’s Christian Ziege out of the recent Ugly Bug Ball XI? Ziege is surely the most hideously pock-marked individual this side of Echo and the Bunnymen’s Will Sargent. Apparently “ziege” is German for “goat”, and poor old Chrissy was assailed with chants of “put the goat back in the zoo” from his own fans in Euro 2000…
FA CUP QUARTER FINAL RESULTS 2000/01
W/E 24 February 2001
Willy Shakey 2-1 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
Burton (2) Johansson
Tiatto 51,981
Real Muppets 0-2 Trusted By Millions
Bramble
Taggart 67,535
You Know Your Boston Rock FC 3-2 22 Legged Groove Machine
Lampard 2 (1) Riggott
Bowyer Solskjaer 36,070
Prettier Than You 2-0 Short Straw Rovers
Bellamy
Higginbotham 28,725
Performance Of The Week – Prettier Than You
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WSFFL LEAGUE TABLE, as at 26 February 2001
Team P W D L F A Diff Pts
1 Willy Shakey 25 17 2 6 46 26 20 53
2 Real Muppets 25 16 5 4 54 35 19 53
3 Mega Buck Bandits 25 14 5 6 51 37 14 47
4 Elland Road Big Boys 25 14 2 9 41 28 13 44
5 Trusted by Millions 25 14 1 10 54 47 7 43
6 Fred West Landscape Gardening XI 25 14 1 10 41 35 6 43
7 22 Legged Groove Machine 25 13 3 9 64 39 25 42
8 Aardvark Abacus 25 12 4 9 60 37 23 40
9 Short Straw Rovers 25 12 3 10 44 35 9 39
10 Nil Satis Nisi Optimum 25 11 5 9 39 31 8 38
11 Kylie Bumcheeks 25 12 2 11 43 46 -3 38
12 Claymore Athletic FC 25 11 4 10 47 42 5 37
13 You know your Boston Rock FC 25 11 3 11 38 46 -8 36
14 Viola's Pier 25 10 1 14 33 41 -8 31
15 Donkey Derby County 25 9 3 13 24 39 -15 30
16 Prettier Than You 25 5 2 18 26 62 -36 17
17 York's Returning Glory 25 3 4 18 16 50 -34 13
18 Pacer's Pacesetters 25 2 0 23 20 65 -45 6
Totals 450 200 50 200 741 741 0 650
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